until you're clean and you're like, oh, i'm just me. >> i did it so bad, dope dealers tried not to sell me nothing. now that's doing it. a dope dealer to say, man, i ain't going to give you no more of that [ bleep ]. i'm sorry, but i can't see you doing that to yourself. dope dealers don't give a [ bleep ] about nothing. these [ bleep ] refuse to sell me cocaine. no [ bleep ], you're killing yourself. what? >> here is a warning sign if you have a cocaine problem. if on your tax form it says $50,000 for snacks, mayday! you gout yourself a cocaine problem, smarty! >> i met sam when he was about to become huge. he kind of took me under his wing to a degree. he neutered my ability to function through drug use and draining me by making me party with him for hours on end. >> so i'm trying to be like -- i'm trying to live up to the