had, you know, they go through the groin, the jugular, everything to relieve that pressure and that's how -- >> when you saw your girls again, that must have been quite a moment for you. >> greatest moment ever but at the same time when i saw my daughters in the hospital it was bittersweet and what happened is when they came in to the room, i grew up in a family where self-pity doesn't work. you know what i mean, you know, so i honestly felt -- i couldn't really look up at them too much and i was sitting there. when they came in, jorja my youngest when she was 5 started crying and raine started crying but christi had already been there and explained it and i told them everything was hooked up to me, everything was hooked on me was helping me and i said, i'm totally going to be fine. i was like i'm going to live. this is going to be great. the problem is the news and the media even people were calling the house saying i heard in school is your dad dead, all this tough and it doesn't help when you're that age, you know. >> how did they deal with it.