And i want to finish off by saying that while we are here at the National Book festival celebrating the library of congress, the champions of the book, they are also an amazing archival resource and are champions for the kind of Archival Research that goes into writing this sort of history that i wrote and continue to write that could not be done without these amazing washington instive at the Washington Convention center. We are now joined by author chasten buttigieg. His book i have something to tell you came out originally in 2020. The young adults version came out this year. Chasten buttigieg, you tell a story at the beginning of the book about going from starbucks to washington, d. C. In 18 years. What happened . Chasten the stickiness of starbucks helps if you adjust to washington, d. C. I fell in love with the mayor and did not see my life going from Teaching Middle School to running for president. But it has changed life in many ways. I really miss teaching but i am also very happy to be on tour with this oak. I feel like im in a larger classroom having important conversations especially at a time when books like this are facing political attacks across the country. Host how did you change the language in this version for young adults from the original . Chasten i should have given it a new title. I wanted to infuse a lot of new stories. It was not just about modifying language but about telling a new story. The ark of childhood to today. It was written for eighth grade me. It was the book i wished i had in middle school to say it was ok to be gay and it was ok to be myself. We did not talk about that growing up in very conservative Northern Michigan. I wanted to include more stories about coming out and learning to love myself and embrace my differences and how that helped me in political and public life. Host had you come out by the time you met the secretary . Chasten yes, i came out to my parents the summer i turned 18. Host what was that like for you in traverse city, michigan . Chasten it was tough. I wrote a letter apologizing to my mom and i ran away from home. I couch surfed with friends. I tried to get through community college. I tried to figure it out. Luckily, my parents called me home. They did not know anything about raising a gay kid. They put aside the prejudices of other people aside. They put all of that aside because they wanted to keep their kid safe and alive. Host had you heard antigay sentiments growing up in your family . In your school and community . Chasten that was the norm. My family is a very loving and insular family. One of the common reactions and conversations that came after coming out, once i came back home and things were getting better, was that nobody cared but i was so convinced that they would. I was convinced i would lose my family and friends simply because we did not talk about the existence of lgbtq people. The only thing i was hearing in my 4h group, in church, in the School Hallways was that this is something that should be mocked. I remember Matthew Shepard vividly going up and i was convinced i would also happen to me. If someone finds out you are gay, it could get you killed. Host when you did come out, did life get better . Chasten life got better because other people helped me make it better. Having your parents in your corner is lifechanging. I dont know what would have happened to younger me had i not had the love of my family. And not everybody gets to go home. Not everybodys mom picks up the phone and says, come back and we will figure it out. Having friends in my corner that made me feel loved and accepted and who were there when it was difficult. That is how it got better for me. It took a very long time for me also to love myself. This problem of internalized homophobia, you grow up her 20 some years being told you are disgusting and not worthy of love, civil rights or protection. And that you will never know community. You really start to hate yourself. You start to believe some of the awful things that people are saying to you. That took me a while even after coming out to lean into my differences and allow me to love me. Host les, chasten buttigieg, there are two journeys you went on, germany and wisconsin. Chasten germany was an escape. I got a governmentsponsored Exchange Program scholarship my senior year in high school and that was to run away. I studied german for four years. I was qualified for the program on paper but i wanted to get out of Northern Michigan as fast as i could. And running away to the north woods of wisconsin, maybe not the big gay mecca you might look for in college but i went to a smaller liberal arts school and studied theater and found my community. I was able to finish college surrounded by people that said it was ok for me to be me. Host you can see the numbers on the screen if you have comments you would like to make or questions you have for author chasten buttigieg. The book is i have something to tell you. It is for young adults. An adult version came out in 2020. Was Pete Buttigieg out when you met him . Chasten yes. Host was he comfortable being in a relationship at that point . Chasten that is his story to tell. We buddies coming out story is there is everybodys coming out story is there is to tell. Theirs to tell. We had an incredible romance from the beginning. A fairytale. First date went from a drink, to dinner, two tickets for the ballgame. There were fireworks at the ballgame that night. I think we were both at that time in our lives, at least i felt, very much ready to focus on what it felt like to be truly loved and seen by somebody else. And i had very different experiences being out. I talk about in my first book the experience with rejection, with things like Sexual Assault and very bad relationships. And i was ready to move on from them and it also prevented me from truly allowing myself to be loved i somebody else. And i dont think i ever really understood what love meant until i met pete. To really feel like somebody was there for all of your faults and for all of your charms. Truly there to support and love you. Host if i remember correctly, in 2020, the buttigieg ticket won the iowa caucus. What was that iowa caucus like for a spouse . Chasten i mean i think at the time the historical aspect of it did not sink in because everything was happening so fast. Life was like a tornado. When you are running for president , there is no time to stop and catch your breath and realize what is happening around you. You are meeting thousands of people each day and taking countless selfies and having conversations along the rope line. People that spent four hours driving to see you. In some pockets of this country it is still not safe to be lgbtq. Those types of conversations are being peppered in on a rope line when someone is so moved just to see that you exist. It took a long time to allow myself to realize that you also are part of something historical. And it still means a great deal to me. I know we sit in this position of privilege and people are watching and paying attention to what you have to say and i want to make sure that i use this moment to keep pulling other people up, to keep thinking of how do i use this platform it matters what you say and what you do when you go out there. The campaign itself was a historical moment. It meant so much to us and to others and now we can continue the opportunity to change the way we talk about lgbtq rights in this country and to show two day dads trying their best to raise two toddlers. Host do you think traverse city, michigan has changed since you were growing up . Chasten dramatically. When i was growing up they put rainbow stickers on bumpers. And it was for everyone belongs. The backlash to those stickers was so loud that people were ripping them off numbers. Now we have up north pride which is a fantastic organization in michigan. I walked down front street in traverse city. It was not a parade with any corporate sponsorships but it was just an inclination that Northern Michigan was moving on. It means a lot. When you see a rainbow flag and a storefront you do not have to question whether or not it is ok to bring in your family or hold the hand of your husband on the sidewalk. You know this city is an inclusive one. Host if eighthgraders that you say you wrote this for, if eighthgraders read this book, what do you want them to take away . Chasten the thing i wish younger me wouldve known that i want middle schoolers now to know is the opinions of the people around you do not matter. I was so wrapped up in the opinions of my peers. I thought, whatever they think of me is what truly matters. I was terrified of them. Ahead my truest self from them and tried to blend. And now i go to target and see some when i went to high school with and i have no idea who they are. I wish i could my differences and leaned into everything that made me me. Host do you think you shortchanged other people as well . Maybe they wanted to be your friend. Chasten i have had incredible conversations with classmates that have apologized. I dont remember them specifically doing anything. I had a heartwarming conversation was someone i went to high school web who said i dont know if i did anything but it breaks my heart to know i could have been part of the problem. Having those conversations now means a lot to me. I certainly know there are some people we all remember our high school bullies. I got to grow up and be this person and now i get to think about my kids and my family and not about what the High School Bully was thinking was saying. What i want middle schoolers to know is it is ok to be different. This book is not just for middle schoolers but for their parents, their teachers, those that love them to have an opportunity to walk in someone elses shoes and to understand a little more what it means to be a young lgbtq person in this country. As they wonder if they truly belong here. Host monique from new jersey, you are on with author chasten buttigieg. Caller hello. It is nice to hear about your family being so inclusive and the love you are given. My question is, although you are not transgender, i would like to know how do you feel about it has become so popular that i am concerned that younger people are not considering the possible Health Consequences of surgery and particularly the hormones. Those you need to be on for the rest of your life. I dont hear this in the media so much talking about that. It is concerning to me from the health perspective. Host we got your point. Chasten buttigieg anything you would like to address . Chasten i am not transgender so i need to be specific with my words. I know what it is like to feel that i am on the outside of inclusion and confused about whether or not people would love me or if my family would except me and if it is safe to be myself. I have to say, growing up gay i wished so desperately when i was young that i was not gay because everybody around me made me feel like it was wrong. And i was told 418, 19 years that i was wrong and something about me was broken. And there is nothing like that rejection from your peers, your family, your community. I think the thing we have to do right now especially cis folks, those with platforms is listen to the people in this community. I am more interested in what they have to say about their existence and their health care. I should be learning from them. I believe those types of conversations and decisions should be left to a transgender person or their parents. Those conversations can happen in consultation with your doctor but i should not be weighing in on that. I want every kid to feel welcomed, safe and supported. I know every major reputable medical association in this country supports gender affirming care so i will follow the experts in that field and listen to them. I value those trans lives and i believe their lives mad or and i want to keep them alive. I think we all as adults and as a country should want to keep trans people alive. And listening to the experts is where we should be spending our energy. Not on social media. Host eric, long island, good afternoon. Caller hello. Caller i want to commend you for writing the book you did to enlighten people. That is the first thing. The second thing is, how do you put this peggy with christianity . As a christian, and the whole thing about the bible saying every sin is equal to another sin. I kind of struggle with this. For you and your spouse . Chasten thank you. I am not sure i got the specific question. Host it was a square the hole with christianity and being gay. Chasten sure. I was married in the church. My husband is a bit more religious than i am. Everyone is on their own spiritual journey. The people in our church is extremely inclusive people, the way they interpret their scripture and religion is to be in service of other people and loving of other people. I thought about this a lot. Growing up, my family was religious and i thought, why would anyone believe god would make a lesser human being . Why would god make me this way to be hated on and discriminated by other people . I dont think, with the religion i believe in, to go through life choosing who god loves and god does not love. I certainly appreciate the longing to a faith on my own faith journey, listening to people talk about how they interpret scripture to mean it is inclusive of more people. At the end of the day, my family is like every other family. Waking up tired, trying to get our kids fed, in the stroller and to daycare. We are doing everything every other family is doing. Behind some of those questions is a little fear and unknown about who lgbtq people are. Sometimes we dont want to just talk about being gay all day. I realize i wrote the book about