Random house will be providing discount codes for guests to purchased all that are on tonight and throw to introduce the current speaker of the evening. Americas most trusted lifestyle expert and entrepreneur and awardwinning Television Show host and founder of the first multichannel company on the media. Also the author of more than 90 book signed cooking and we are so thrilled she is joining us tonight. Welcome. Thank you teresa. A couple of first for me to stay home is very unusual for me. Just having the time to think as deeply as i have been thinking is unusual because im always busy. I thought tonight instead of talking about food and home and lifestyle of my field of work, i thought i would talk about something i wrote a long time ago called standards of perfection with those examination of two things and the adding of a third to see which is the best the childrens room library and with every single book on the shelf and steered me to those volumes that would set my standards. The doctor doolittle books a secret garden and graduated to where i discovered jane austen and charles dickens. The eighth grade i was admitted to the Adult Library for my appetite for reading was wedded further. Discovering the key to literature just how one was better than the next and as the Newark Museum introduced to the techniques for distinguishing great art from good they seemed arbitrary especially looking at contemporary art or architecture i could not fathom how teachers or scholars whose books you are studying who decided what was the best everything became much clearer the history of art and decorative art and architecture professors were inspiring trying to determine if one artist work was superior to contemporaries why was the portrait considered a masterpiece and finally the classic why are paintings by van gogh ignored and perceived as priceless today . To have a charming better cautionary tale the air to a new york fortune entrusted 18 years of age with 5000 within our collection for the family takes the grand tour and in the mid 18 hundreds a highly stylized work by painters by the karachi brothers to fashion the young man with those primitives. Some of that magnificent collection for his father when he returns home is disowned and discredited because he is ahead of his time the native selections by the simple act of comparison and then chose the best this comparative approach exemplifies a picture book fine points preacher published by crown 1950 the author discusses history of American Furniture to the 18 twenties and shows the good and better and best of each style the most wonderful thing of that book is when you look at that together you instinctively know which is the best. And through comparison you learn the fine points of craftsmanship and to judge any piece of furniture. Apples are books or recipes or even animals horses dogs or cats in this comparison by which one has a standard of perfection applies to many areas of life but dont apply that to people that are fine points are indeterminate and infinitely more complex the rest of your education good luck with the rest of your life we will live through all of this and find a new future. Thank you so much martha. That was fantastic. Next anna quinlan the bestselling author of many novels including nonfiction which was the number one New York Times bestseller. Was a columnist a graduate of Bernard College with an Honorary Degree from more than 20 colleges and universities we are so excited she could join us this evening. Thank you. This feels odd normally im doing a commencement speech with the sports arena and i wearing an academic rope my audiences wearing the academic rope and then behind them are acres of family members carrying flowers and balloons all with tears in their eyes but this is not that year. This is a very distinct year that we will never forget. And i year a monumental year but a special year the fact that everything is topsyturvy in our lives and in our world, i will say tonight lets all try to make an opportunity out of difficulty. There are plans how this was supposed to go. There was a checklist. May be throwing out plans is the secret to a satisfying life. May be the checklist was always an empty exercise. Maybe this is the Perfect Moment to embrace the way of doing things we have never done before. Maybe that so we only should have been after even before the classes went online and ceremonies canceled. After all what are the public names that you can recall of those people who did exactly what was considered the correct thing . Followed the template, the checklist, and that societal expectations you cannot come up the name of one of them. The people we admire whose names we carve into buildings on the covers of books in the very best sense of the word. Jane austen throughout the checklist. Frank lloyd wright throughout the checklist for a young architect of his time. Bill gates, sally ride, marie curie, pablo picasso, toni morrison, they all throughout the checklist and ignored the plan. So many say i cannot expect to be jane austen or Frank Loyd Wright but what we can embrace is a plan not of checklist but fragments of the expectations of a society and most of its expectations is not worthy and that requires courage passion in lieu of plans. Thats a new one. And this is a new world. As we explore a new world instead of clinging to the old one . Or are we smart and Strong Enough to become that we seek what is correct because we are afraid. Caution is nothing but fear dressed up as common sense. The road less traveled is a popular palm and unpopular life choice the welltraveled road is so much safer but do we want our lives to be a resume or an adventure . Dont let fear rule you. Fear is what has poisoned our culture and community and national character. The very worst thing done in this country are done out of fear. Phobia, sexism, sexism zeno phobia, desperate send demagogues they all arrive and tell us how to fear which is unknown or different. Courage is the hallmark of those people who have done the right thing at this terrible time. Courage and kindness. May be my favorite quotation i use the most often is from henry james. Three things and human life are important. The first is to be kind. Second, the kind. And the third is be kind. If we follow those words in Public Service and private life we will have succeeded. The truth is we have the kindness leached out of this world. Maybe thats because we forgot how to be kind to ourselves, the established order of we should be and how we should behave is so often today punitive we should be thinner, richer, tougher, hardet is nonsense. I know when i look back over my life those are the last things i will care about. Lovingkindness is what matters thats what last thats what akes all the difference in hav you a a when her ci and it istoms audacious to care and to live that conspicuously. To play it safe is a slog taking a chance is on a skateboard. When you come up with the checklist home, job, ask yourself are these the things that i really want or is each that i assume i ought to want because the difference between those two is between a life and an existence. Will toni morrison. If you surrender to the air you can ride it. T. S. Eliot. Only those who risk of going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. We find ourselves today in a strange universe of paradox that we never could have imagined for closeness comes through computer and openness requires masks fear of criticism and judgment to do things differently seems beside the point when everything has changed the graduates this year the class of 2020 is entering a world it wo upside down. Accept this will and for what it is or apply all that you have learned to see the beauty of today and the responsibility we have for one another it will not was be this way as long as we have the courage to rise to the occasion and the story to heal humankind rather than profit. Right now even in the season of suffering there is a reassurance knowing we cant go back to the way things were if anything this fibrous has revealed harsh truths that we refuse to acknowledge coronavirus much like education is not the great equalizer. Instead it is only exacerbated inequities poverty of power and privilege that unfortunately transcends human history. However i find solace knowing it will always be this way just to be assured and newborn will not cry unprovoked at 4 00 a. M. For the rest of her life but this isolation and disconnectedness is temporary the class of 2020 have the resolve necessary to find the words and inspire the actions that looks better for all of us prioritizing people over profits healing is as close as your willingness to see the wellbeing of others as your ow own. I challenge you to resist the desire i challenge you to be wise enough to know the status quo is insufficient i challenge you to envision you that is inclusive but who are we leaving behind it wont always be this way because we are learning to crawl toward justice so one day we can walk in the stillness of our humanity and will not always be this way but as i my daughter and look into her eyes looking back at me as a generation to use the knowledge we have earned to answer the cry for help. So the class of 2020 from my family to yours, as you embark on this phrase of your intellectual journey we offer you solidarity and above al all, joy. Peace and love. Thank you donovan and welcome to your baby girl to the world. Next awardwinning actress and producer of bestselling author widely known for her work on the critically acclaimed Television Show parenthood and Gilmore Girls. Now on the new head drama series Lauren Graham someday maybe became a bestseller in 2013 and was made into a television series. Then she released her seventh book from Gilmore Girls and everything in between we are thrilled to have Lauren Graham join us tonight. Congratulation class of 2020 i want to add i am the third Barnard College graduate here tonight and proud to be among such incredible company. We have a member of the class 2020 right down the hall. We are really feeling it as a family this year. We feel for you and hope we can continue to find ways to celebrate. This little book was a result of a graduation speech i gave at my high school a few years ago and while i was honored to be asked i opened with that if you had to look around my graduate class and pick who would be asked back one day to give the graduation speech would never pick me. So here are some selections from that speech. If you are kicking yourself for not having accomplished all you thought you should have by now dont worry about it. People bloom at different stages in their lives and often more than once my dad ran a Successful Company and 72 became a certified spinning instructor and certification only took three days im not saying dont take a class but give it a few weeks. Eventually i was lucky enough to have a career i wanted but it is not a straight path. It was not easy it was up and downs and my experience setbacks allowed to feel angry how did this person get what i wanted . Why wasnt it me . You may be right at times to feel the world is unfair. I would guess now one is the one is one of those times. You may be 100 percent that like clouds on the overcast day sometimes the fact that what happens to us in life is not controllable and if we wait a while and dont take it personally and decide in whatever way we can to enjoy ourselves the sky will clear. It always does one of those dream jobs that the incredible amount of joy but nine and the way that you might think the best parts of my job no one will ever see the sun of doing the daily crossword puzzle or on the set parenthood easily rivals any award show i have attended the success part of life looks good to others but the best part is the simple daily experiences this is true if you are an actor or teacher or waitress and i can tell you that because i have been all three. In real life i have found progress comes in small and eventful accomplishments the journal you remember to write in to take on the same path. They may not seem like much but over time they become something bigger and the foundation of your life and Building Blocks that create those milestone moments whatever path you choose whatever career you decide to go after that you find joy in what you are doing especially when it finds you treat every day like to show you are starring in the wait for permission or good reviews you will be surprised. Dont wait until you are on broadway or you reach the olympics as a ceo of a Major Company dont wait until you are a president of something as i like to say have no fear of perfection i do however like to tell people dont be perfect, just be done which is just another way of saying dont worry too much. Give yourself permission to make mistakes those are as valuable as the triumph. You might try something new make a threeday spinning certification instructor class and why not your job doesnt define you your bravery and kindness and gratitude do with no accomplishments to your name you are enough whether top building are still dancing in the back row you are enough just as you are in conclusion dont worry about it you are already one of the best. Congratulations and from the bottom of my heart strength and good wishes and success and happiness to you all thank you so much. That was beautiful thats great to hear we are all enough. David brooks is a leading commentator on pbs news hour and made the press and comments for the New York Times on the bestselling author the social animal please welcome him to our event. Congratulations. I get to do this a couple times per year and why it is great you have parents in the audience who are tearful and proud in the faculty behind you who are shocked that you have made it through. And along with that you have all three groups at once and try to keep everybody happy. So this time i thought i would give you six ideas that i hope are useful and truthful to use students. Youre smart enough to make that decision. This is what to do right now the first idea this is a terrible time to start a career. A recession is coming so dont until 2022. Take a year and take off the pressure. One thing leads to the next time is in a river. Wife will start up against it all put yourself on pressure. Second this year wide in your horizon of risk. So with that horizon of risk if you do something completely crazy that scares you if you do childcare or become a Healthcare Worker from louisiana then for the rest of your life you can do something if not your risk will be like this for the rest of your life. And to build identity capital has called the defining decade of living in your twenties and she had a student or a patient who was going to work in starbucks and they said become an instructor for the rest of your life people ask you what is like to be an instructor of Outward Bound every the dinner party you have something to talk about. So those that have done one thing i really want to ask them about that is just a very valuable thing to do the fourth point and i hear this from students who have graduated they wish they had invested in their friendships. One of my students said waiting on writing papers so i underinvest in them but the ups and downs so one decent idea as a senior in college on Graduation Day with his ten best friends they resolved every year for the rest of their lives they would meet for four days put money in a pot and give it to a good cause but the purpose was to have a group of ten friend to would meet once a year and do life together as how they preserve their friendship the fifth point is change your decisionmaking metrics this is a lesson from one of my students after graduation. She said when i was in school life was station to station. The next thing i had to do or apply for something or pass a test. The day i graduated, there were no more stations so now my attention was the notion with no landmarks. I had to think differently and change my decisionmaking. Viable way to orient yourself in the notion with no landmarks is to ask yourself what year it is and what is the central problem of your life. Commencement speakers give terrible advice my generation passes on a mountain of debt and then give you garbage advice about paying it off but a good piece of advice given by Victor Frankel is the one question to ask is what do i want to do with my life . But what is life expecting of m me . What problems are around me asking me to solve them so it is clear you have inherited a social fabric that is stagnant a set of relationships that are broken and the virus is only worsened that so your calling our vocation is to heal and your vocation for those on the local level to build those conditions and symptoms that were the last fortunate and now to be involved right now to distribute food in baltimore that is a concrete way to be the fabric of community and then the fifth and final point is take advantage of this time in a physically challenging time and economically challenging time but also the time the making of you and if you are somebody its never a took a fabulous vacation to hawaii but its what you did in the valley. Theologian who wrote moments of suffering interrupt life and teacher youre not the person that you thought you were. And they carve into the floor you see a depth of yourself you never saw before then to realize on the relational and emotional serves those debts. What you find is the ability to care for others you did not know about. A friend with her first child was born told me i realize that it was evolution required because they are things we have to do to get through life to pass on the dni on our dna and pay the rent but i compassion to care that does not make sense and is enchanted you find that ability in those moments and we are and why now to come out the other side to come out stronger deeper and more caring ceo the Robin Hood Foundation and the largest anti poverty nonprofit in the country also a bestselling author and combat veteran in social entrepreneur the first book also five days of the reckoning of the American City through 2020. Please welcome wes moore. Good evening and congratulations. My daughter is here with me. Congratulations. I