[applause] good evening, everyone. Im the partner of Events Manager in politics and prose and i would like to thank all of you for coming out tonight. I want to especially thank you for supporting an independent bookstore like politics and prose. [applause] get ready to click again. And a nonprofit like speedy levin. Your attendance is vital to us and we wouldnt be here without you, so we want you to know how much we appreciate you and your choices. Im excited to introduce because it is no secret among my friends and coworkers how much i love and admire diane ream. Shes a native washingtonian who began her career in 1973 as a volunteer and has grown into the producer, host and dc icon we all know today. Shes the author of several books including finding my voice, on my own, wife and of course the book you are all here for tonight, when my time comes, which addresses the urgent, hotly contested rights of the right to die movement. Through interviews with terminally ill patients and physicians, spouses, relatives and representatives of those who opposed the movement, she gives voice to a broad range of people who are personally linked to the realities of medica medical aidd dying. The book presents an argument for and against that are propelling the debate across the country about whether to adopt a law allowing those to put an end to their suffering. Moderating tonight event is another friendly face. [applause] [cheering] as well as the politics hour. The board of the Public Access corporation of washington, d. C. Since 1997 and has also served on the part of the library of congress center. Before we welcomed the speakers to the stage tonight, we would like to treat you to a short trailer of the documentary that is also called when my time comes that corresponds with the buck what is death . What options do i have as to what the my death will be like . People like you and me have been considering questions like these for as long as thereve been a human being. Today some of us are willing to speak openly about such things, but many of us are not. We are in a culture that seems to hide from mortality. This is the most difficult experience for a patient and their families. Speaking about death and dying is complicated for people and it takes a certain amount of willingness to be vulnerable. These conversations are not actually about buying. They are about the quality of our lives. Everybodys idea is to die quickly in their sleep and not have any existential suffering, but that isnt available to many of us. 25 of people who died with chronic illness died with uncontrollable pain. One of the scariest things is you have no control. But you can control how. Medical aid and dying is a medical treatment that enables a person who is dying and who has ousted all hope for cure and is close to an imminent death to help them die in comfort, with peace and reduced level of suffering. When somebody is thinking about aid and dying they are not thinking about it casually. This is a difficult debate for a lot of people. Some people dont think its appropriate for a doctor to do. I dont know if i would choose it, but i would like to have the choice. This is between an individual and her family have doctor. A good conversation goes a long way. That it is a hard one. Most people would rather not talk about the death. They would rather push it out of their mind. But i believe we must talk about it. For me, thinking about what i would like to have at the end of my life is very important. [applause] now please help me welcome to the stage diane rehm and coach. [applause] good evening. I would like to acknowledge the present of dianes husband, thank you for joining us. Also the presence of the manager of wamu jj. [applause] and wamu Staff Members are also here sprinkled among us, they have the support system that diane and i have come to rely on over the years. We would like to thank them. Would you care to stand. [applause] i have known diane rehm for about 30 years, i knew her before i started work in a wamu, i was hosting a talkshow and diane and i were time to time guest on each other show. And she was one of the people who strongly encouraged me, demanded. Then they come today wamu. In the person that i knew before i came to wamu, i considered a very genteel woman, when i came in 1998 i found that diane was indeed a genteel woman that made a solid steel. Because in that year, 1998 diane started struggling with cosmetic dystonia, which caused her to lose her voice. , you would think that anybody who made a living by talking, stricken with prismatic dystonia would be ending their career, not this woman of steel. She fought it she underwent four years very painful treatment that caused her to be off the air for short periods of time but then she always came back. And she stayed coming back. Until her absence were less and less frequent and they were less and less long, she fought through them. And then her new husband got parkinsons disease. And in this book when my time comes, diane details the pain and suffering he undertook and i assume that experience is what started her on this journey. It turned out i was wrong so diane, start by telling us about your mother. Good evening it is so wonderful to see you all and kojo, thank you so much for being here. My journey began when i was much younger, when i was 19 actually i was 16 when the doctors told me that my mother was dying. The 16yearold does not quite grasp that reality. So i did a lot of praying and a lot of looking to the stars and wondering what is death going to be. Well, for my mother who was 49 when she died and i was 19 it was a great deal of suffering, she begged to die, she begged to die in her hospital bed being drained over and over and over again of fluid caused by were not sure what, whether liver, cancer, cirrhosis of the liver which the doctors all ensured her that it mustve been because she was an alcoholic. And i assure you, she had two drinks a year at christmas and on new years a shot of whiskey with my father. As she lay in the bed, having been drained once again, of fluid that made her look as though she were 11 months pregnant, she begged to die and i can remember rubbing her feet and crying and saying i want to go before you do, i dont want you to die. And then on new years eve of that year, my then husband and i went to Georgetown Hospital at about 10 00 oclock at night before we were supposed to go to a new years eve party, i did not want to go, i did not feel as though i wanted to go but i went. First, to the hospital and when i saw the doctor who was her doctor, i said to him he said, have you seen your mother. And i said, we went into see her but she was sound asleep and i did not want to wake her and he said, i want you to go back in that room, i want you to let her know that you are here. I said but doctor, she does not sleep well, i do not want to wake her. He said go in and wake her. The reels were up on her bed and i said mama, im here. And i think she was so out of it, she kind of waved me away. I think the doctor knew that she was going to die at night and therefore the next day, my husband and i having just moved into a new apartment had no telephone, his brother came knocking on the door saying you must get to the hospital, we raised their and iran across the parking lot, i got there 20 minutes too late. She was gone. And i think kojo, that began my really strong feelings that people should not have to suffer. You say you have a life long advocate a patient on me. , how come . I think, when the doctor told me that my mother was dying, i had gone in to see him, my dad had taken me and i had an ear infection. I could use some pretty choice words, but i will not. Believe me she can. [laughter] she punched through the infection in my ear and i screamed and after i calmed down i said to him, please tell me about my mother and he said she will be gone in 18 months. Just like that. And for me, that harsh way of speaking with a young person about lifeanddeath kind of turned me off to the way doctors assume godlike positions with their patients or the children. I think for me, it has been a lifelong strikeall to make sure that i speak up around doctors and say what is and what is not. And i certainly did. Did your activism on medical aid in dying flow naturally from your feelings on patient autonomy and did johns condition, john reams condition leads you to intensify . John, as kojo said, he died oof parkinsons, he died starvig himself and drinking no liquid for ten days. I watched him do that for ten days. He felt he had lost all dignity, he could no longer feed himself or bathe themselves or toilet himself and he said one day, i am ready to die. Andy called in the doctor a physician himself was on the phone from boston and he said john said im ready to die, doctor will you help me. At a nursing home in maryland, neither legally or morally or ethically can i help you die, the only thing you can do for yourself is to stop eating, drinking water, taking medication you can go a long time without food but within a short period the lack of water destroys the organs. And i watched for ten days as my husband of 54 years declined and showed on his face the never crying out showed on his face, the agony that that death caused for him. He died in 2014. In january of 2016 and his executive producer diane came to me saying that they had plans to do a documentary film on the right to die. And joe told me the other day, he was surprised at how readily i agreed to do it. Before we got to the elevator as he was leaving, i said i am in. I said for those three years we have worked together on this documentary film, three minutes of which. You seen the book just came our came out tomorrow and that is a result of our effort. A question you asked many others in this book, i will not ask you. What is your idea of a good death . Kojo, its a question that our director really wanted to ask each and every one of the more than 40 people, we interviewed around the country, via patients, doctors, priests or members of the clergy, what do you consider a good death . For myself, i would consider a good death one that is peaceful, painless, quiet, perhaps having a party beforehand. [laughter] , having lots of champagne. [laughter] having my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my dearest friends beside me, holding han hands, telling them each what they mean to me, that would be a good death. In order to make sure that you have a totem in the process, in order to make sure that there is absolutely no mistake made about your desires, you recruited your grandson. Tell us what you told ben to do. During the filming of the documentary which by the way will be shown on Public Television a year from now in the spring of 2021. Ben was using his cell phone and i had asked my daughter, his mother for permission to do this, i dont do anything without asking my daughter for her permission. If you ever had the experience of diane rehm asking your permission to do anything, you would understand it is not just an ask. Is very important with grandchildren and with children to ask permission and jenny granted it. I said, ben i would like to speak with you now, please take out her iphone as i was speaking with ben about my own desire, ben was being filmed by our director, photography dave and i told then exactly what i wanted, recorded for posterity but most especially for my two children, for my husband john, for my grandchildren, i wanted everybody to be aware, if i had either, and this is very controversial i know, i began showing signs of alzheimers, if i had an incurable illness, if i was diminishing in ways that i could never again enjoy the fullness of life, i wanted to go. And i wanted them to know that i would want to go and i read to ben a paragraph that i had read that and morrow lindbergh had read to her children, she had written it, she never actually read it, her daughter found the paragraph after and morrow lindbergh died and i quote that paragraph in the book because it was so meaningful to me saying if there is nothing that can be done, please end my life humanely. Please do not use extraordinary measures and please follow my wishes. What im hoping this book does and are documentary does, is to get people to talk about the most taboo subject in the world, death and dying. We are so afraid we are so afraid to talk about it and pretend it is not going to happen. I said in a Church Service in massachusetts were about 300 people were there, i said please, raise your hand if you plan not to die. [laughter] and there was exactly the same lowlevel chuckle. As though we all think its kind of funny. But some people think, especially young people think they will live forever. John rehm and i because of my family history, my father died 11 months after my mother did. My mother died at 49 years old. And my father died 11 months later. Of a broken heart. Johns father mother each committed suicide. My motherinlaw at 92, my fatherinlaw at 72. So death was something that was part of our dialogue. And i believe that in this day and age, death should be something that we all talk about because the baby boomers are reaching that age where their parents are dying. We think about the idea that our children are afraid to talk with us about what we want, why dont we raise what it is what we want. What i hope this will do is to get people talking. The book certainly did it to me. Because even though my wife and i already have wills and have living wills and those living wills indicated that we do not want to be recess attainted, after reading this book i realize one has to do more than that. Much more, one has to be very specific about what one wants in the situation and one has to have a conversation with ones Family Members about that and in your case you made ben record this conversation so it will last forever. But its just an ongoing part of diane programming me for the rest of my life. [laughter] lets talk about some of the people who made the decision. Lets start what was close to home for you, mary klein who had missed asked ovarian cancer, they lived close to your old neighborhood. They do or did indeed, mary klein was so active, and her partners in wifes eyes such a strong marvelous, talented person and carried on her life in such a fabulous way when she discovered she had ovarian cancer, she did in fact go through numerous treatments, many radiation and chemotherapy treatments until the doctor sa said, there is really nothing we can do and mary at that time because there was no right to die in d. C. , she and her partner went to work with mary che. Who is the council member. To bring the idea to the board. Now mary, as soon as she got elected wanted to bring it to the four but had been persuaded by other Council Members to hold off for a bit but mary became impatient and mary klein became the perfect advocate to come forward to talk about her own illness and the fact that she did not want to suffer, that she had done everything that she could to try to stay alive but knew that eventually and shortly she was going to die and did not want to die suffering. And finally the district of Columbia CityCouncil Voted so that now d. C. Has a medical aid in dying law, when we began this process in 2016, just three years ago, there were three states at the time that head edible aid in dying, now because people like mary klein and britney minard in california who had to move to oregon to obtain medical aid in dying, now there are nine states plus the district of columbia which has medical aid in dying, i feel very fortunate that people like mary klein and mary che really made this an issue, i pray that maryland, virginia, new york, connecticut and other states will follow suit before long. Thank you. The district and columbia got a medical aid in dying law in the books, Problem Solved for mary klein. Wrong. Then you have to find a physician who is willing to do it. Tell them about her odyssey and that decline. Mary klein looked and looked and looked and finally found a physician who was willing who to work with her. This physician, she is now my physician i wonder why. Because she believes in medical aid in dying, i have now turned to her but there are very few physicians, initially d. C. Said you have to have a registry and you have to list your name as a physician willing to carry out medical aid in dying and very few physicians were willing to put their name out there and public. But now we have a few, very few in the medication is very, very difficult to get a hold of was taken off the market asked me why and i cannot answer it, one was taken off the market and a number of pharmacies began to create their own potions and now you have to really find it through a physician, it is not easy, i am hoping that that process will become easier as time goes on, after all oregon has had its law in place for 22 years and of the number of people who have applied for medical aid in dying and received the medication, only two thirds of those people have actually used it, one third had the medication and had chosen not to use it. There has not been a single case brought of any sort of coercion or pressure or illegal activity on anyones part. Now lets talk about those who are against it. Thats where i was just getting. In the case of the d. C. Legislation, your neighbor, someone who lives in the same building you lived in, some lucky person testified in favor and she was dismayed that all the physicians who testified were against it. And you had a conversation with mary kleins physician which is now your physician and she told you about conversations she has had with her colleagues and how torn they are about to but why did all these physicians who testified here oppose it. For a number of reasons, i think many go back to the idea that physicians should do no harm. Now let us begin to wonder whos harm exist does it exist in the mind and heart of the patient who should receive one more treatment that does no good. Those that exist in the mind of the doctor who feels lets try this one more thing. There is a wheel that patients that patients can get onto especially those suffering from serious cancer diagnoses. Who try one treatment after another. A church most especially the Roman Catholic church. You testified in massachusetts in favor of this bill. In maryland as well. In the case of massachusetts, you also talked with a Catholic Priest in massachusetts. One of the longer conversations in the book as a matter of fact, what rational for the churches position . I must say to a certain extent, i agree with the churches position that if you believe that god should be the only decider, i support you 100 . If you as a patient believe you should have every single treatment that medical science can offer you and you want that, i support you 100 . In the same way, i believe that at some point, i would want to make my own decision that enough is enough. I want to be supported and many of those doctors continued to believe that the hippocratic oath says to them that they must do no harm a