Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Like this is tearing down anything that doesnt move. When im waiting to cross the street, i keep moving so no one comes in and tries to rip off my head. I will be honest, the museum saying they are going to take town the Teddy Roosevelt makes sense because as someone who lives in new york i walked past that statue so many times and every time i thought that is an amazing statue that is also very problematic. Show i bet in the 30s, it was considered super woke. Look at that, an indian and negro led by the white savior. I know it was supposed to symbolize roosevelts friendship with the other races. If youre such good friends, let them up on the horse or at least give them something to ride. One reason the protests are still going strong, because racism is going strong. Look what happened after nascar banned the Confederate Flag. A disturbing discovery, a noose found in a stall for bubba wallace, the only fulltime black driver, successfully convinced the stock car racing series to ban the Confederate Flag at the tracks and facilities. Wallace writing todays despicable act of racism hatred leaves me saddened and service as a painful reminder of how much further we must go as society. Nascar says we have launched an immediate investigation and will do everything we can to identify the person responsible and eliminate them from the sport. Trevor this is such bullshit. Bubba wallace spoke out against racism and clearly someone wanted to send a reminder of what can happen to black people who dmoant their place. And, you know, because nascar has so many Confederate Flag fans, this is something that might not stop for bubba. I can tell you fans are going to be saying horrible things, people will be putting unsigns. I wouldnt be shocked if bubba starts getting pulled over during the race. siren sir, we have been getting calls you have been circling the neighborhood for a couple of hours. License and registration. I will say this, though, as much as this story is infuriating, it also is wonderful how these racists expose themselves, because all these comfort flag loving people always say the same thing, this has nothing to do with race the flag is about heritage, it has nothing to do with racism but as soon as a black man stands up against the Confederate Flag, the first thing they do is respond with racism. Like they say the flag is just about southern heritage, but nobody showed up to that garage with a georgia peach cobbler. No one showed up there, like, im going to teach you a lesson about disrespecting southern heritage, you want one slice or two . Moving on to john bolton. Former Trump National security advisor and photo negative of steve harvey. His new tell all memoir is officially out and yesterday he sat down with abc news to talk abit. Overnight john bolton with a stinging rebuke of former boss President Trump. I dont think hes fit for office, i dont think he has the confidence to carry out the job. Its not clear to me he read much of anything. A lot of people complained he has a short attention span. Decision are made in a very scattered fashion. How do you think history will remember donald trump . I hope it will remember him as a oneterm president who didnt plunge the country irretrievably into a downward spiral we cant ricoil from. We can get over one term. Two terms im more troubled about. Im not going to vote for him in november, certainly not going to vote for joe biden either. Im going to figure out a conservative republican to write in. Trevor donald trump is a danger to the survival of the country, but youre going to Vote Third Party . We must do everything we can to defeat donald trump, except the one thing we can do to defeat donald trump, get the ~bleep out of here, man. Sometimes in life, you only have two choices, okay, pepsi or coke. Boxes or briefs, mario or luigi. I know its not fair but you can only pick one to have sex with. Personally, mario, shes shorter but hes got something to prove, in my mind. Bolton spent the entire interview talking about how unprepared, incompetent and corrupt the president , is but the weird thing is bolton joined the Trump Administration over a year into trumps term. So, i mean, he probably should have already known all of this, right . Why does it feel like everyone goes confidently into the trump white house, like, ill be the one to tame donald trump, and they walk out six months later crying he made fun of me and said all my ideas were dumb and you can read all about it in my book coming out next week also, bolton could have said all of this stuff during the impeachment hearings but, no, he wanted to put it into his tellall book to make money. There is very little i respect about john bolton. The only thing i thought was cool about this interview was he wore a mask during it. Whats that . Its not a mask . Oh, thats his oh. All right, never mind. Theres nothing i respect about him. Finally, the coronavirus pandemic, even as cases climb in the u. S. , americans are trying to resume normal life, and the debate about what normal means continues. Amc is requiring guests to wear face masks when theaters reopen. The company faced backlash when it first announced reopening plans. Amc said it originally tid not require customers to wear face masks to avoid political controversy. This rule will be implemented nationwide as theaters reo begin to reopen july 15th. Trevor amc theaters said people have to wear masks, people got mad and they backtracked. Its a political issue. I cant believe there are people out there who would go to a Movie Theater with coronavirus still raging and, on top of that, not wear a mask. Who values their life so little that theyre willing to risk it to see a matinee of sonic the hedge hog . As much as i want to go back to the movies, it feels like mask or not, its always going to be racing. Lots of people sitting close together for hours in an enclosed space. I mean, white people will be safer, you know, because the things that spread the virus most are laughing, shouting and talking loudly, and white people do none of those things at the movies. You ever sat next to white people in the movies . The more boring thing ever. Sometimes ill poke the white person next to me to make sure theyre not dead. Still alive . Shhh you come to a room of 300 people and want to keep quiet. Go home. Dont judge me. I came to a comedy to laugh, dont try to judge me. Im surprised 300 people make noise. You show mask or no mask, Movie Theaters will have a tough time coming back. Whats clear, containing coronavirus will continue to be a struggle till everyone decides to start wearing masks, including all the people who think it makes you look like a wuss. We need a way to convince even the most macho dudes to embrace face masks, and now we have one. Are you a redblooded american whos sick of scaredy cat stores telling you to put away your gun and put on a mask . Im not doing it because i woke up in a free country. Introducing the gun mask, the only mask thats also a gun. Why hide from coronavirus, when you can shoot it in the head with the only mask liberals will be begging you not to wear because youre not a so i boy who needs mask for protection, youre a tough american who needs a gun for protection, gun masks come in three adument sizes pistol, Assault Rifle and ~bleep bazooka. Its exactly six feet long so all the social distancing cry babies will know exactly how far to stay from you. crying 100 American Made in china and approved by the c. D. C. And the n. R. A. , so you can bear your arms directly on your face. Gun mask, its like stand your ground for your face trevor now, thats freedom. When we come back, well tell you why trumps big Campaign Rally had more empty seats than a Movie Theater during corona. So dont go away. [ ] think you need to buy expensive skincare products to see dramatic results . Try olay skin care. 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Brow ultra slim only from Maybelline New York. Brow ultra slim tomorrow can only be better with wendys breakfast. Win with a breakfast baconator, honey butter chicken biscuit, sausage egg and swiss croissant or frostyccino. And get another for a dollar. You and wendys breakfast. Tomorrow is lookin good trevor gulping oh, welcome back to the daily distancing show. As the corona lockdowns have stretched into month four can you believe it, months four many people in america cannot wait to get back to work, and theres one american who cant wait to get away from work, which is why, after weeks of buildup, donald juneteenth trump held a Campaign Rally in tulsa, oklahoma, the first since coronavirus shutdowns but didnt go as planned thnches morning sources close to the white house say President Trump is furious that his muchhyped Campaign Reboot went bust. His saturday night rally in tulsa, oka oklahoma, drawing a h smaller than expected crowd. The president boasted a Million People requested tickets and he promised to fill the 19,000 seat arena. But the tulsa fire marshall tells nbc news that 6,200 people showed up, leave rows of empty seats. Outside the v. O. C. Center, these workers took down the overflow stage early. The president had planned to address the crowd there, but no crowd materialized. Trevor oh, poor trump. For somebody who was born into wealth and never suffered a single consequence for his actions, this dude cant catch a break because nothing is more you mill yaight when you throw a party and most guests dont show up. I remember when that happened on my twelfth birthday. Really . All your grandmas died on the same weekend . crying i find that very unlikely so why was turnout for trumps rally so low . Well, the Trump Administration claims its because protesters blocked the entrance, which,reich most things the Trump Campaign says, is not true. The most likely explanation for all those empty seats in that arena is that, as much as some people love trump, they also love not dying from coronavirus. Oh, and theres another thing that might have thrown off trumps numbers at the arena, and it has to do with k popp. The Trump Campaign may have been trolled by teenagers, tik tok musers and korean pop music fans. Before the rally, these tech savvy groups mobilized to reserve tickets for an event they had no intention to have attending. Oh, my god im so excited to not go to trumps rally while its unlikely they were solely responsible for this low turnout, their antics may have been inflated the attendance numbers. Clearly not everybody showed up in tulsa. Maybe people heard the huge numbers and said they didnt want to go through the hassle of the crowds. Trevor goddam, that is hilarious, getting foiled by a bunch of meddling kids. That means trump is basically a scoobydoo villain now, but at least they wear masks. Im proud of these teens. Think about it, in 2020, tik tok went from being an app where you learn dances, to hey, guys, this is how we abolish the police and take down the president. Trump was reportedly unhappy he looked out and saw the empty seats, but you know what . The people ther who were there e pumped up to see their guy again because a week ago when trump used two hands to take a sip of water, look how excited the crowd was when he managed to drink a glass of water with only one. They said, you couldnt lift your hand up to your mouth with water. I was speaking for a long time. I didnt want to drink it, but i wanted to wet my lips a little bit. So ill va little glass of water. Where the hell did this water come from . Where did it come from . cheers and applause trevor yeah, whoo im proud to live in a country where the president can drink water with just one hand sometimes it feels like the longer the Trump Presidency goes, the more confusing its going to be for kids studying American History in the future. So, lincoln was hailed for freeing the slaves, and candy ky lauded for putting a man on the moon, and trump got cheers for Drinking Water . Is this textbook right . Theres a lot going on in the country President Trump could have talked about. Could have talked about black lives matter, the coronavirus pandemic, but the topic he devoted the most time to nine full minutes, in fact was how people made fun of the way he walked down a ramp last week. Last week, they called me, and they said, sir, west point west point, were ready. I was on the stage for hours. Hours i came home, i had a nice tan, sun. He said, sir, we can now leave the stage. I said, great, general, lets go. Ill follow you. Because im wearing leatherbottomed shoes which is good for walking on flat surfaces. Its not good for ramps. Im being baked like a cake. I said, general, theres no way i can make it down that ramp without falling on my ass, general. I have a choice, i can stay up there for another couple of hours and wait till im rescued, or i can go down this really steep, really, really its an ice skating rink, its brutal. The first thing i did, i looked at his shoes, and i looked at mine. So what happens is i start the journey inch by inch, right . So i took these little steps, i ran down the last and by the way, in the tape, in almost every instance, it ends just before i run. Trevor ive never seen trump that defensive before. He spent so much time on this story, bu that now im more suspicious than i was. Before i thought maybe trump has trouble walking down ramps but now not sure he has feet. Its odd how hell talk for hours about walking down a ramp, but racism in america, somebodys looking go into it, lets move on. He told causey stories, called corona kung flu. And he even admitted he told his people to slow down coronavirus testing so the numbers wouldnt look as bad, which is something we used to have to assume hes doing and now hes just telling us. So i guess thanks for the honesty. When it was all said and done, it was clear that all of these empty seats really took a toll on trump. This video you see the president arriving back at the white house after that event looking a little dejected. Looked like he felt defeated as he was walking out of marine one. The fact were seeing him with his tie undone, the crumpled mega hat in his hand. Tell us he wasnt able to put a happy face on something that for him was an enormous disappointment. Trevor i have never seen a person getting out of a hell copter looking that sad. Looks like he got stood up at the altar but still had to party because everything was nonrefundable. crying i mean, cheer up, donald. Youve got plenty of reasons to be happy the borders are closed, barr is firing prosecutors, and no ones seen fauci in weeks. Take a double shot of hydroxychloroquine and get back in it, mr. President because, honestly, its weird to see trump display emotion. Its actually uncomfortable, you know. Its like watching mr. Poat the timeo head get a boner, i dont know how to feel. But i think this experience is the first time mr. Trump felt the full weight of the coronavirus pandemic. What finally got to him wasnt the 122,000 lives lost in america but the 12,000 empty seats in an arena. Dont go away. Dont go away. Well talk to laver good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. PedigreeĀ® brings out the good in them. Im craving something were missing. The ceramides in cerave. 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