From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor every day our news feeds are bombarded by countless stories of bad coronavirus updates and stories about what celebrities look like now. Either way, st all de pressing. So to help us remember the brighter life, lets get on with our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Z lets kick it off with the Catholic Church. The place that was rock rocking rolls long before corona, they are known for sticking with tradition but in corona times even priests are learning to innovated. One priest in michigan may have found the most unique way to connect with paishners and social distant, photos posted by st. Ambrose church shows the reference using a squirt gun for holy water. Drivers pulled up to the church and are greeted by the reverend who is wearing a face mask, glovers and holding a bright green gun. He told the news for an article over the weekend he was a bit concerned how the vatican might react when photos began circulating widely on the internet but says quote i havent heard anything yet. Trevor hold up. Water gun, that might finally be the thing that gets the churches numbers to go back up again. And a great way for Catholic Priests to explain why they have a bunch of kids toys in their basement. The only way this could shall more fun is if they did a water balloon because you could watch it in slow motion and seat exact moments where your sins are absolved. Im saved well, this also opens the Catholic Church to much cooler scenes in movies. Normally the Catholic Priest is tim i had and all they can do is pray but now when they need a demon they can be like say hello to my little friend. Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. Moving on, summer is almost here but this year it will bring a whole new set of challenges. Black people have to figure out how to cook out while social distancing. White people have to go into the sun starting completely from scratch and for kids every camp is now computer camp. But there is good news for beach gers who want to practice social distancing. And they can do it in style. The growing use of face masks has inspired a new summer fashion friend, the trikini, add recent fugue say Fashion Designer in the south bay, she is carrying her custom di kinis with matching face mask. Her business is donating part of the trikini proceeds to team ub rube i con, a group of military veterans that deliver meals to seniors. Trevor finally, the trikini. Outfit perfect for going to the beach and then robbing a bank. Seriously, i love that even during a pandemic, humanity Company Still find a way to post just to be as safe as possible, you flow what i bet the more trikinis we see, the more people will start getting turned on by chins. Because think about it, like st always the hidden part that people think are hot. Like the trikini becomes a thing, at the ends of the day someone will take off their trikini and their partner will be laying in bed, oh, yeah, baby, show me that an teria manned i believe. Oh my god. And finally germany, a country that only has an outside voice. Ger plans have found a way for people to join live music that is safe for both the performer and the audience. Oneonone concerts with a sij musician playing for a sij audience member n parks, museums and airport terminals, so if you love music and long eye contact, there is four. Although this only works for classical music. I mean i enjoy hiphop but a solo rap concert feels like a guy is just yelling at you. Yoarks, everybody, put your hands in the air. Now everybody, scream, ahh. I think this germany thing is a great idea. The only problem is will classical music, you can never tell when st over. I mean if you go with a crowd, you can always know because the old people start clapping because they know the songs but when st oneonone it is going to be hella confusing. If. applause . Trevor all right, thats it for the ray of sunshine. Lets get straight to the headlines. First up, some major news about that thing we have all been searching for, a video on pornhub we havent watched yet. A Coronavirus Vaccine. This morning there are promising signs in an early stage vaccine trial. The u. S. Based bio tek Company Moderna has announced interim phase one result nbs a trial conducted with the National Institutes of health, participates in the human Clinical Trial have developed antibodies against the virus, that is exactly what a vaccine is supposed to do. Yeah, and without many side effects so far, thats really good news and thats why you see the stock market, the dow here up more than 700 points because this could potentially be gamechanging news. Trevor theamplet the results of major Coronavirus Vaccine trial are out and they are promising. Because some participates in the trial got antibodies and there were no major side effects. Lets be honest, is a major relief. Because dont forget, theyre fast tracking this vaccine so the scientists could have come outlining the results are in and the good flus is all three of bruces are coronavirus neglect tivment even though this vl early stages the stock market went crazy with everyone trying to invest in this company. And that gave me an idea. Anyone who owns a company right now who is strilging, just announce that your product can also maybe help fight coronavirus and you are in the money, baby. Billa bong could van sane bon could have an ad if our sane bones cant kill you what chance does coronavirus have while most are waiting for a vaccine, some people think we might noot not even need one. People like eric trumplet telephone in hills 100th trimester and president s fourth favorite sofnlt according to baby voldemort coronavirus is actually a hoax that will go away on its own and the only reason the media is even talking about it is to steal the white house from his dad. Biden loves. This imiedern cant go on stage without making some horrible blirnd. Even from his basement is he making awful gaffes every day, his campaign is thrilled he is not going out. There and they think they are taking away frumps greatest tool which is to go into anarena and fill it with 50,000 people every single time, right. So they l and you watch, they will milk it every day between now and november 3rd and guess what, after november 3rd t coronavirus will imagine complee all of a sudden go away and disappear and everybody will be able to reopen. Trevor heres something i dont get. If coronavirus saul a giant scam, then why is he rick trump doing this interview from his house. A house where, by the way, it looks like he was in the middle of doing a seance, what is up with this candles. Spirits, spirits, wherever you may be, make my father proud of me. Now according to eric, this f whole coronavirus thing say conspiracy to prevent his dads from doing big campaign rallies, im sorry, this makes no sense. Disoon ald trump d donald trump is the president , so if he thinks coronavirus saul just a bunch of hypothen go and do a rally. Trump is the most powerful least powerful person in the world. I want to do a rally but i cant, because the doctors will get mad at me. And by the way, we all know coronavirus is not a democratic plot. Because if corona was a democrat, it would have found a way to lose weeks ago. Speaking of donald trump, the president isnt spending all his time not dealing with the coronavirus pandemic. Is he also keeping bugsee with other important parts of his job. Undermining democracy. Overnight there was another shakeup in the administration, the state department nmenter general leave linick is being fired, fourth ig to be let go in recent weeks House Foreign AffairsCommittee Eliot Engel said the watchdog opened an investigation into mike pompeo and a keusdz the president of an unlawful act of retaliation. Linick had launched an investigation into secretary of state mike pompeo and whether, according to a congressional aide pompeii and his wife had misused a political appointee for personal tagsk. Its ig was looking into whether pompeo made the a member of his staff walk his dog, pick up his dry cleaning and make reservations for the secretary and his wife. Trevor wow. President trump has fired his fourth Inspector General in just the last few weeks. What makes this firing extra suspicious is that this Inspector General was in the middle of investigating mike pompeo for using his official staff to do unofficial things. Such as walk his dog and do his laundry. Im sorry, but pompeo had to know he was going to get caught. Sending people to pick up his dry cleaning . I mean he is the only person in washington whose shirts have a four food wide for neck hole, what did he think was going to happen. Once again trump has fired somebody who is supposed to be providing oversite on his administration which still makes no sense. This would be like if a toddler could fire their own babysitter. Im sorry kimberly. But let it go it this is trash. All right, have i to go get my pizza delivery downstairs, when we come back i will tell yu barack obama was involved in a driveby. Dont go anywhere. Dont go anywhere. Dont eat it, im the new house is amazing. So much character. Original crown molding, walk in closets. We do have a ratt problem. Round and round with love well find a way, just give it time. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. It does help us save. Round and round with love well find a way, just give it time. Round and round what comes around, goes around. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com welcome back to the daily social distancing show. Lets talk about commencement addresses. Thats how the that time the year when everyone puts on a dress and are told there say future for the planet. For much of america this was graduation weekend. And so prominent celebrities and politicians decided to hold a virtual commencement speech. Around the Commencement Speaker everybody was talking about was barack obama. 44th president of the United States and worlds slowest kenyan, although his address turned out to be less of a graduation speech and more the Worlds Largest subtweet. Just as you have been looking forward to proms and senior nights, graduation ceremonies, and lets face it, a whole bunch of parties, the world is turned upside down by a Global Pandemic. This pandemic is fully finally torn back the curtain on the idea that so many of the folks in comurch know whatter ins doing. A lot of them arent even pretending to be in charge, doing what feels good, what is convenient what sez that is how little kids think. Unfortunately, a lot of so called grown ups including some with fancy titles and important jobs still think that way. Which is why things are so screwed up. Trevor you know, its funny how obama hides his insults, almost like he doesnt want to get in trouble with michelle for going low. Now i agree with michelle, that were going to go high. So i wont say anything about your mom, but i will however point out that the person who gave birth to you has that could possibly obscure large bodies of life. Stnt crazy how obama never even had to mention trump by name. Like thats how you know you have screwed up when someone could just say people have no idea what they are doing, and everyone is like thats trump, that is trump, even trump is like thats me, totally me. But as subtle as his criticism has been. Ing it started a fire at fox news. It is supposed to be motivational, positive t is supposed to be about the graduates. This was not its time for what he is doing. By the way, barack obama not all that articulate. Off the teleprompter he can be inspiring organize a speech, but impromptu with the ums and awes had, it is possible. St very bad for the next president in a cries toys kritd size a sitting president or administration. It is so unseemly for a former president to take the virtual Commencement Ceremony for a series of historically black colleges and universities and turn it into a political driveby shooting. Trevor yes, what obama did there was a political driveby shooting. He really crypt walked all over americas norms. I mean this was not the time for a rap battle because there is Donald Trumps movie. And obama is talking loudly during it. What a black day in american history. Look, no denying obama went out of his way to disis trump in his speech but i find a scenario that fox news is going to spend all day being offended about how a former president doesnt have decorum when the current president literally interrupted a pandemic briefing to remind everybody how he boned models. And im not saying like everyone says lit lally, im literally using literally literally. Obama wasnt the only politician who gave a nebraska commencement address, nebraska senator ben sasse gave an address of his own and something tells me is he not handling quarantine billion. Congratulations, this is a big moment, not on graduating high school but on making the journey down the stairs from your bedroom to the living room and putting on something frol slightly more formal than sweat pants. Congratulations parent, teachers and coaches, not that there is really any meaningful distinction among those categories at this point, if you are a parent, you are a teacher, thanks a lot china. We are all teachers now. I know im not supposed to say this. But you are not missing out on that much because hon evesly nobody, and by nosh, i mean nobody remembers anything about their high school graduation. In fact a lot of us spint a lot of our times trying to forget as much about high school as we can and in fact there are a bunch of people who make a whole bunch of money like just trying to help other people forget high school. They are called psychologists. Trevor you know, anyone can deliver a speech that inspires people, but it takes a real lead tore deliver a commencement speech that makes you wish you had booked ted cruz. And if this is his commencement speech, i would hate to hear his version of a birthday song. This could be your last one. This could be your last one. This is the you might not make it. Trevor so this weekend everyone from president obama to senatorree year in nebraska released their commencement address but the biggest news,ing it saved the commencement address for today, im talking about covid19. So class of 2020, let me leave you with three lessons that changed my life. Firstly, let the haters fuel your grind, when i was starting out china acted like i didnt exist. The britans Prime Minister treated me like a jokes and the u. S. President said i was just another flu. Instead of losing hope i remembered what i learned from taylor swift and i shook it off. I kept grinding. Thanks to the haters, i have traveled the world, i met all sorgts of celebrities and even made it to the white house. The second virus to do so right after stephen miller. Secondly, remember that you dont get anywhere alone. I could have ended up like so many other diseases, mers, sars, cooties, but i got to where i am thankings to the angels in my life. The people whose missed science, protestors who wont war mask and anyone who couldnt go three week was getting a layer cut. You guys are my heroes. And finally, embrace the setbacks. When i fail in places like south korea and new zealand because they had a plan, a lot of people said my best days are behind me. And yeah, i was bummed but i knew that if i found the countries with the right leadership for me, i might just get a second shopt. So students, when people try to flaten your curve, just keep climbing. And remember, people dont need to believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself and the sky is the limit. But not too high because you congrats class of 2020, rorke on, you guys are on fleek, i will see you out there. Trevor when we come back Jaboukie Young white will look at how the mega rich are dealing with corona. Xfinity watchathon week has come to an end. But you can still keep up with the shows everyone has been talking about from hulu. Like that one your notsofunny neighbor keeps stealing jokes from. Or the one your commitmentshy girlfriend seems easily committed to. Even the one that one person on twitter says is fire emoji, fie emoji, random cupcake emoji. Everyones got a show to recommend. Say add hulu into your voice remote to keep up with the hulu shows everyones been talking about. When youre like enjoying a classic. With a classic. Miller lite. Great taste and only 96 calories. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show, were all handling coronavirus in our own way but some are having a better time of it than others. For more on this we dwhrek in with Jaboukie Youngwhite. Thank you, trevor. This pandemic really has people think being different groups of people, from our essential workers to healthcare providers. Yes, clap it up, give it up but what about affluent americans, this frect fas rich people just as much as anyone else but thank god rich people have one of the best antibodyies money. The wealth escaping charges by chartedderring private jet, airlifting their entire families to a holiday home to sit it out. Second and third homes in West Palm Beach and nantucket, cape cod, Marthas Vineyard and hamptons, certain Grocery Stores have been ransacked by the number of people flooding in. A rural county in idaho is suddenly became a hot spot because st a place where a lot of wealthy people have second homes. The outbreak ask leading to class warfare. It is so good for them, thats awesome. Look, im not hating. Im not, im just saying, if you have enough money to go to your second, sthird, fourth home at least let me quarantine in your first home. I should be laying by a pool instead of laying in front of the bathed room bathroom door while my roommate takes an hourlong shower. Dan, are you done yet . Dan, your dated cant smell you over zoom. Dan dan spending your quarantine in your Vacation Home is just for poor rich people. Mega rich people k. The luxury Hotel Company in switzerland sawferring a covid19 hotel stay that can include a 50