From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor you know these days it can sometimes feel like were drowning in bad news. So let us pull you up out of the water and on to that floating door with us. Where there is plenty of room. In our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Lets kick it off with restaurants. You know, the place where someone takes you to break up with you when they could have just sent you a text. I dont understand how we went halfies for the meal but i paid fully for the heartbreak, sheila. Health Officials Say that when restaurants reopen in the age of corona people will need to sit a few feet apart from each other for safety. But the question is, how do we do that . Well, one of the countrys top restaurants has come up with an imaginative way to avoid the awkwardness of having a bunch of empty seats. Some places that we go, social distance canning feel a little awkward like maybe lots of empty spaces in a restaurant, for example. So a north virginia restaurant is filling in the missing people with mannequins. The inn at Little Washington which is a renowned fancy place, i have learned, three michelin stars, will soon open for half capacity, likely at the end of the month. But the empty tables will feature these frozen friends in vintage 1940 style outfits. Yes, if eating in a half empty restaurant makes you uncomfortable, now you have the option of eating in the final scene of a horror movie, much more relaxing. Also how bad would you feel if you are eating alone and then you look over and you see that even the guy made out of plastic was able to get a date. And look, i get what this restaurant was trying to do. But i think they went too far when they also used mannequins to occupy all the bathroom stalls. Excuse me, whats taking so long in there. Come on. I got to get back to my table. I think sheila is going to propose. I mean why else would she bring me here. Why would someone bring me here if they are not going to propose. You know who is probably really going to love this restaurant, mark zuckerberg. Wow, everyone at this place is so lifelike, the bartender, look like fellow humans. Speaking of the zuck, facebook, the Worlds Largest social network and elderly tiktok is bringing millions of users together in a really unexpected way. More than a Million People are spending time during quarantine pretendk too be ants. This Facebook Group is called group where we all pretend to be ants in a colony. Look at one of the posts here. Ants crawling on ice cream, one person says munch with me and then take some to the queen. You can see the comments say nom, slurp and lift to queen. Trevor okay. This is really interesting. To take their minds off of the stress of corona millions of facebook users are pretending to be ants. And you thought you were the only one in quarantine feeling a little antsy. Back to you, sandra. Look, man, i get it, i get it. Who wouldnt want to live the carefree life of an ant, right. You spend all your time carrying crumbs 5,000 times your body weight until the day some asshole kid steps on you because hes board, bored. Sounders like a dream. I know a lot of people are just having fun. But please remember when ever there is something fun on facebook there is a good clans it is created by the russians. Lets all pretend to be ants. We bring sugar to queen. Then we not vote for joe biden. And finally, heres another way people are keeping from going crazy during this pandemic. Taking the coronavirus outside and beating the crap out of it. Well, this strange sight showed up in a backyard in a lita. Who is it, a covid19 pinata, of course. Jennifer wersal tells us a friend made it for her sons 18th birthday last weekend. Apparently people liked the idea of using a pinata for some stress release and a few laughs. Abc known for the colorful pinatas it makes has added the pinatas to lineup. We can dress it for different occasions like our kids that didnt get to have a graduation, we are going to put a cap and maybe put a gown on it so that they can just hit it and get their frustration out. Trevor yeah thats what i am talking about. People are making corona pinatas and showing the virus who is boss. Except instead of candy a punch hydroxychloroquine pills falls out, selfmedication. But heres a tip, if you have got cor own virus strung up, make sure to intergate it before you destroy it we need to find out its secrets. Who sent you . Are you the chinese virus or are you the european virus. Or do people just change your name depending on their political affiliation. Huh . I just pray trump doesnt see one of these videos because you know he will propose it at the next breaferring. And i saw some peopling using sticks to destroy the coronavirus. Maybe we can put sticks inside people, maybe we from shrinker down the sticks an beat the coronavirus inside the body. Can we check that out. Is that something we can do. Trevor so go out there, have some fun, and smash a corona pinata. Just whatever you do, dont use a bat because corona lovers bats. Thank you, guys, thank you, thank you. All right, that is enough silliness. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Our first headline is about twitter. The only place on the internet where Pulitzer Prize winning journalists can get into fights with ukrainian teenagers yesterday twitter c. E. O. Jack dorsey told 5,000 of his employees working at home that they should never come back to work some twitter employees will never have to go back to the office if they dont want to, jack dorsey told them they may can work at home forever this he the want and their job enables them tow do so. They were asked to work from home at the beginning of march to prevend the sprefd the virus. Twitter sas i the past few monthness show they can make it work. Trevor twitter is telling employees even after coronavirus is over, they can continue working from home for as long as they want. Which sa maizing. And i hope more Companies Follow suits. Cuz there are so many advantages to working from home. First of all, your daily commute is like five seconds. Secondly, your Office Affair is actually good for your marriage, and third, good luck to them trying to fire you over a zoom call. Sorry, what did you say, boss . Sorry, i cant no, di im going take some extra Vacation Days and well talk in a few weeks, okay, bye bye now. I guess the only problem working from home makes it much harder to steal your coworks lunch. Hmmmm, nice las ang yas. laughter d lasagna. Next up, jaryd kushner, senior president ial aid and mannequin eating in a fancy restaurant. He had a general election thought that kind of freaked a lot of people out. President trumps Senior Advisor and son in law Jared Kushner oneonone, what he said when asked if the president ial election could be delayed. That interview you saw with the president s son in law Jared Kushner raised eyebrows when kushner was asked by time if there was a chance the president ial election could be postponed due to the pandemic. President trumps sonl and Senior AdvisorJared Kushner is making news, in an interview with Time Magazine kushner said he was not certain the president ial election would happen on november 3rd if there is another outbreak of coronavirus in the fall. Trevor oh my god. Jared kushner, might delay the election . That is not good. Let me tell you something, my friends. An election is like ming, you have to do it when are you supposed to do it or your democracy will get a uti. And honestly, i cant believe that Jared Kushner said. This and the reason i cant believe it is because he didnt actually say this. Yeah, because everyone from news outlets to thousands of people on twitter are reacting off of the headline. But if you watch the actual interview, this is what Jared Kushner said. Is there any scen regardio including a second outbreak in the fall where the election move past november 3rd . That is too far in the future to tell, nothing that i am award of now but again our focus right now is just on getting. Will the election happen on november 3rd. It is not my decision to make so i am not sured i can comment one way or another but right now that is the plan. Trevor not only did Jared Kushner so the not say he is delaying the question, he laughs off the question and say sts not his decision to make. And look, im not a fan of Jared Kushner. But i dont think its helpful for anybody to stir up shit like this at a time like. This i mean people are out here pretending to be ants. They dont need added stress in their lives. So please, news outlets or whoever is putting these headlines up, lets not gin up controversy where it doesnt need to be. Especially since there are so many real things you can get mad at jar easy kushner for. Giving ppe contracts to his buddies, having sleepovers with the saudi prince or speaking in a freak see that summons locust for miles away. And finally you might have heard that last week former president barack hallelujah obama called strumps Coronavirus Response absolutely chaotic disaster, well yesterday mimp mcconnell decided to clap back. Just a day after former president obama ripped the trump administrations response to the covid19 outbreak, Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell had this sharp criticism of obama. I think president obama should have kept his mouth shut. But i think its a little bit classless, frankly to critique an administration that comes after you. Trevor wow. I knew mcconnell had balls, cuz theyre all right there in his neck scrotum but i didnt know they were big enough to call president obama classless, and tell him to keep his mouth shut. And is it just me or did he say classless with a hard r. Like really, mitch . You think obama is classless . My man, your favorite president called his own mistress a horse face on twitter during his presidency. And you know what, maybe there was a time when former president s would pretrain from criticizing current ones. But that was before trump, the same way scrunchies used to be considered tacky, but then coronavirus came along and the old rules, they dont apply any more. All right, that is it for the headlines. After the break, were going to do a segment on drugs. Wait, that didnt sound right. Were going to do a segment high on drugs. No, thats not it. Anyway, well be right back. Chips ahoy wants me to announce their delicious new cookie with hersheys milk chocolate. So just imagine allll this. But with chunks of allll that. Can we get a visual . New chips ahoy cookies made with hersheys milk chocolate. Daily social distancing show. Usually when we talk about coronavirus we focus on the livers lost, the economy and jobs. But the truth is this pandemic is affecting our world in a million different ways. And one of those affects is on the drug trade. Which were going to explore in our new segmenting narcos in the time of corona. Lets begin with a gateway drug, weed, aka marijuana, aka the kushner because it solves all your problems. It doesnt. Like netflix and japanese toilets, weed is something were appreciating more and more during the lockdown. With soo many people selfisolating at home, at least one industry is booming, its the marijuana industry. The orders are starting as soon as we open at 8 30 and just going consistently until we closed. Sales have never been stronger than during shelter in place. Delivery at a social distance, of course. This mother of two likes her mommy mints. Cannabis Business Owners say they are hiring more drivers to meet the demands. While mom now delivers dime bags, she has also picked up some of the lingo. I didnt understand what headey was but that is a word that is in the dictionary. Trevor you know, i dont think i will ever get used to how much the weed game has changed. Cuz it used to be some shady dudes on the corner. Now it is the lady who used to bring orange slices for everyone at half time. It is going to be real awkward when all those weed dealers who got incarcerated come back home to find their street corners got gentrified. Back up, buddy, this is karens corner now. But yes, people are stocking up on legal weed because of the corona shut down. Because for a lot of people weed say great way to de stress and pass the time at home, plus now we all have the perfect execution not to hang out with our dealer. Oh, sorry, dude, i would love to hang out with you and have you smoke half the weed that you just made me pay for, but social distancing. So for the legal drug trade, business is booming like crazy. But it turns out, that all over the world the illegal drug trade has been struggling hard because of coronavirus. Because it is alot harder to hand people drugs when nobody is supposed to be touching. Police say the coronavirus lockdown is helping them catch drug dealers cuz theyre easier to spot on our empty streets. Many of them are now dressing as joggers to avoid police de terks. Police say drug dealers are posing as delivery workers carrying cocaine and ketamine hiderned in the bottom of delivery packages. I learned they had a pizza box with two handguns in it and eight killograms of cocaine. Trevor thats right, drug dealers are too easy to spot right now so they are going undercover as joggers and pizza delivery guys. And that has to be such a roller coaster of emotions. You can imagine a drug dealer shows up with a pizza box full of drugs. A random pizza showed up, yarry. Ah, its just drugs,iay. If you are a drug dealer who is trying to smuggle, you have to pick the right pizzar box though. You carrying a papa johns box, that would be a dead giveaway. Hands up, this is the police, drop the box, what, im just delivering some of papa johns. Nice try, buddy. I dont care how desperate people are, nobody is ordering popa jongs. But the impact is nothing compared to how the pandemic is messing with the big picture. In fact, the entire global drug trade has been brought to its knees by covid19. Mexican and colombian drug car tells are really being crippled by this pandemic. As supply chains in china shut down, traffickers are losing the chemicals to make profitable drugs like met and fentanyl. One big problem for car tells is distribution. They can no longer transport drug to where they can tell them. For drug traffickers the shutdown has crippled mung laundering screams creating a back log of drug prose. Now millions of dollars of dirty money have been piling up in los angeles. Trevor wow. Coronavirus is crushing everybody. Fact recents in china cant make chemicals. Without chemicals drug dealers cant make met, and without met joe exotic has no way to make straight guys marry him. It is not just the supply chain, because of lockdown drug dealers cant launder their cash. And that cash is not dirteddee because of drugs t sls dirty because it has corona on it, now you have to launder it with a fake business and with actual de ternlgt. This is too much work. If you are one of the drug car tells struggling to move your money in la, i have a tip for you. Just do what everyone else in la does when they have too much money. Make a movie, think about t half of all of hollywood movies are just Money Laundering schemes. Like the goldfinch, that is not a real movie. Do you know anyone who watched that movie . No. Money laundering. I mean like even the actors are not real, ansel elgort, that is not a name. That is like someones left over scrabble tiles. By the way ansel, they made me say those jokes, i dont think they are funny at all. I love you baby deliver. So what are the drug car tells with so much 6 their business shuted down. Like the rest of us some of them are take up new quarantine hobbies. Mexican drug car tells moonlighting at philanthropist. Drug leaders are handling out what are essentially care package totion ordinary citizens. Rio day jab airo drug car tells are imposing curfews, signs and sand san tierses at the entrance of the club. As south africa tries to control the spread of coronavirus, gang leaders have halted their turf wars and turned their Delivery Networks to usually used for Drug Trafficking to get food to poor households instead. The best distributers in the country, they know how to distribute things, used to distributing other white powders, but still, they are distributing things and they know everybody. Trevor thats right, with the drug trade on pause, gangs are around the world have started hemming in their communities instead. And i dont know, man, these gangs might want to be careful delivering groceries and hand sanitizer. Cuz thats amazons turf. You guys think are you tough. Wait until you meet jeff bezos. A month from now the sinaloa car tell will be the sinaloa Amazon Fulfillment Center and no benefits. You know one thing i am excited to see is how this coronavirus is going to change gang tattoos. I got this one for killing a man in cold blood. And i got this one for helping miss hernandez bake banana bread. Trevor all this revealed just like many other industries around the world right now, even the drug car tells are struggling to deal with corona. Until people get healthy again, the drug car tells cant get back to their job of making people unhealthy which is actually why i think if we want coronavirus varks evens to as many people as possible, we should put the car tells in charge. Hear me out, hear me out. Hear me out. They have the distribution. They have the network, and unlike the big pharmaceutical companies, theyll give us our first taste for free. When we come back, i will be talking to loss ang legs mayor Eric Garcetti about how los angeles is handlek the coronavirus pandemic. Stay tuned. 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