Kind of give them a social interaction so theyre getting their food but theyre also getting, you know, that camaraderie or whatever from a person. Trevor oh, hell, yeah a drivethrough strip club now ive truly seen it all. This is what coronavirus has basically done to society. People are going to strip clubs for the food do you know what i hope . I hope they have the deejay still working as part of that strip club. Coming to the stage right now, shes hot and juicy, rotisserie chicken you know, when you think about it, the whole world is basically living with strip club rules right now. Yeah, no touching and you should probably wash your hands every ten seconds. Finally, some news about the search for a coronavirus cure thats very exciting and also adorable. A lama by the name of winter could be key to finding a cure to the coronavirus. U. S. And belgian Scientists Say they have identified a tiny particle in the lama that appears to block the virus and they aim to roll out human trials later this year. Trevor im sorry are, guys, this is just amazing. Lamas . Might have the antibodies we need to defeat covid 19. I think i need someone to explain to me how science actually works. How did this come about . Were scientists just sitting around, like, mike, i need you to test the virus. Peter, see ifing you find out anything on the antibodies. Anything comes up. But i guess, once again, this proves why we need to let more lamas into medical school. If this lama can cure corona without training, guess what it can do after it reads some boofntle if the human trial is successful we might have a cure if theyre not successful, we might have our first human lama superhero i will say the news will probably raise the bar for app lot of pets. People are looking at their cats at home like this lama is out there curing diseases. What have you done lately mr. Whiskers . This research is still preliminary and we dont know if it will work but apparently some Big Pharma Companies arent waiting to find out. The coronavirus pandemic has touched us all, but now theres hope. With llamanol, the first prescription lama. We sent you a lama and you maybe lick it or just hang around with it. We dont think you have to eat it but were not sure. We cant just rush this to market. Side effects may include lama spit, lamas eating your lawn, lama die rearia, lama getting wool everywhere but becoming a tiger fink for lamat. Tell us if it works. Trevor count me in thats it for todays sunshine. Now the headlines. Lets kick it off with the Supreme Court. The highest court in the land and the court with the most overhype robes. The Appeals Court has basically the same robes, same quality, style, just not the logo. So much cheaper. The supremes heard arguments on important issues this week like whether Health Insurance has to cover Birth Control and whether robo calls are protexed as free speech. If you ask me, robo calls should not be protected. Theyre unsolicited dick picks for your ears. You never asked for it and youre never interested in the product. Thats for the Supreme Court to decide though not in the court. The justices are working at home for the first time ever. Theyre holding Supreme Court hearings over the phone. Turns out that conducting Court Business by Conference Call isnt going as planned. Well, it was an awkward moment during the first ever Supreme Court arguments held by phone. At one point during the hearing something unexpected was heard as a lawyer was speaking. Lissen closely. And i changed the laws identified to banks. What the fcc said is flushing when the subject matter call is range of top topics, its transformed. What was the source of the flush . The lawyer did not seem phased. He just kept making his argument. Oh, this is so embarrassing. One of the justices forgot to mute while going to the bathroom or as they call it dropping a verdict. Follow the rhyme, if its yellow, let it melo. If youre on a call with ruth bared, flush it later. You should feel bad for the courtroom sketch artist who had to watch it all. Lets move on to nurses, the front line heroes of the pandemic and the only people you thank when they stab you. Yesterday, some of them got to visit the oval office for a president ial reception that quickly turned exactly how you would expect. Yesterday was National Nurses day. President trump honored the frontline workers at the white house with you had an awkward moment with one nurse from louisiana who said access to supplies has been sporadic. So p. P. E. Has been sporadic but its been manageable, and we do what we have to do. Were nurses and we learn to adopt and adapt and do the best thing we can do for our patients to get the job done and get the care provided and thats what well continue to do as covid 19 continues. Sporadic for you but not sporadic for a lot of other people. Oh, no, i agree, mr. President. Because ive heard p opposite. Ive heard theyre loaded up with gowns now and trevor only donald trump would dismiss the concerns of a frontline nurse at a reception to celebrate National Nurses day. If donald trump was a 911 operator, that would be a disaster. Hello, 911 . My house, its being robbed well, ive heard a lot of houses arent being robbed. In fact, most people have told me their houses are not being robbed right now. What . Sir, i wasnt blaming you. I mean you called me out of nowhere and started complaining. It sure feels personal, so personal. And you can tell trump took it personally because donald trump has the least subtle body language of anybody on earth. I mean, look at him sulking like a toddler. National numberses day was supposed to be my day and i really feel bad for that nurse because you can see she did not expect to be attacked by the president just for telling truth. Someone should have told her you dont disagree with trump until you leave the white house and have a book to sell. All right, thats it for the headlines. After the break. Were going to find out how exroafs might get you into the college of your dreams. So stick around. Well be right back. Keep it clean with the roomba robot vacuum. Only roomba uses 2 multisurface rubber brushes to clean all your floors. And with patented dirt detect technology, roomba finds dirt throughout your home. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Crispety. Crunchety. Peanut buttery. The irresistible oneofakind butterfinger. Nobody lays a finger on my butterfinger. The daily distancing show. You know, usually, when we talk about coronavirus, we focus on the lives lost, the economy and jobs. But the truth is this pandemic is changing our world in a million different ways, and one of those ways is how Higher Education is functioning. Well learn all about that in our new segment college in the time of corona. Trevor in normal times, college is one of the greatest periods in a Young Persons life. You make your closest friends, you soak up exciting new ideas, you have your athletic abilities financially exploited, but all that changed this year when covid 19 hit and campuses across the country shut down like this snaps sudden closure of College Campuses across the country over the coronavirus sent millions of students home early. These students barely had any time to pack up their things and leave. A lot of folks said that they had to leave their longings on campus. I got a call on sunday sort of saying its time to go. So i didnt really have time to say goodbye to anyone. We didnt have any boxes. We were throwing things in garbage bags and trying to drag them down the hall. Trevor man, that has got to suck so much. Can you imagine . One thing youre in school and the next thing your stuff is in trash bags and youre on the street. The last person who had to leave college that quickly was aunt beckys daughter. Having your university shut down so quickly is not normal. Except at trump university. Okay, class, today well learn about Business Finance and the most important thing you want siren oh, shit a cop got to go but even though students are no longer at school, theyre supposed to be going to class. Students are quickly confronted with the reality that Online Learning is a little different than the real thing. College classes that once looked like this now look like this. Students say they miss interacting with professors and campus resources such as libraries and study groups are gone. Students claim online instruction is far below the classroom experience. They suck, literally they suck. Were now obligated to spend about half of our day zooming our teachers. If youre in, like, a 200 personlecture and one person forgets to mute themselves, thats kay yog. Some getting zoom bombed, in this class by a clown. During a Remote Learning class, a university of miami, florida instructor shared a screen with the students. The main page have that days lessons, but eagleeyed students spotted the words Busty College girl at the top of his screen. Yeah, during a college zoom lecture, the students noticed their lecturer sharing his screen had a tab open for Busty College girl, and that is so embarrassing. I mean, who still uses the word busty . What, are you searching for porn in the 1920s . Looking for busty flapper gals now, to be fair, we might not know the whole story, right . Because tabs get cut off all the time on a computer. Maybe that browsing tab says Busty College girl but when you see the full web site name its actually how to respect and act appropriately around Busty College girls. We dont know. We know. But, yeah, students are quickly learning that Online College is just not as good as the real thing. Its kind of like how Online Gambling is not like the real thing. Yeah, you can lose your money but if someones not there to break your legs, whats the point . Heres the other thing about online classes, even if they go well, classes arent the only important thing about going to college. Students and families pay huge tuitions because they want the entire college experience. And now that theyre not getting it, they want some of that money back. Protesters are taking aim at colleges and universities. Students picketing schools saying theyre not getting what they paid for. They filed class action lawsuits commanding partial tuition refunds. One claims Online Learning is subpar in practically every aspect. We have to pay 55,000 for the same basically the same thing you could find on a web site for 50. Trevor i get it. Imagine paying for yale but now youre getting university of phoenix. Its like buying a ticket to seeing a movie starring tom cruse and its ruse. These students wont get their money back when the professors can afford elbow patches on their jackets . Why are they protecting their elbows . Theyre not rollerblading . And because of Coronavirus College has become much less appealing. And because enrollments have dropped so much for next year, colleges have gotten so desperate that theyre willing to accept students that they never would have previously even considered, which mean shits going to get really interesting next semester. My son got into harvard because he got perfect s. A. T. Scores. My son got into harvard from a groupon. May is here and this school wreer is coming to an end. While the class of 2020 might not have gotten everything they wanted out of a semester, theyre finding innovative ways to make Graduation Day as special as possible. Fred johnson went to Ohio State University but the school didnt hold commencement, so johnson walked across his familys living room instead. One Business School in japan getting creative. The grad weight students take a virtual baulkwalk across the stage as robot avenue attars. Students holding their commencements on games. University of berkeley getting creative. We are recreating the entire uc Berkeley Campus to host the ceremony. It will be open to explore campus, relive memories and take photos. Im imagining the entire campuswide party. applause trevor bravo. These kids recreated their entire campus in a mind craft video game just so they could get together for one last hoorah. Reminds me when i spent a semester studying abroad in the mushroom kingdom. Young love. speaking french if youre not lucky enough to have gone to a school thats figured out how to throw a commentsment inside a video game, you can still have a kick ass graduation because celebrities are doing virtual commencement addresses for the entire class of 2020. Like oprah is doing one with help from simone biles, lil nas x and miley cyrus. President obama, hes giving one with lebron change and malala. Yeah, thats super cool. Though tricky to watch an obama speech over zoom because you will never know if hes buffering or just pausing for effect. And to all the young kids out there uh you got to uh mom restart the router. Follow your dreams. Never mind im not going to lie. These virtual commencement addresses seem like a cool idea. We at the daily show thought we would share our own inspirational message for the class of 2020. Trevor well, class of 2020, here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Trevor at home. At home. At home. At home. Im stuck in a hotel room in bulgaria. And i know this wasnt the graduation you were expecting. You thought you would be with your fellow graduates on the campus lawn hung over from the day before figuringite out how to break up can your old boyfriend who wants to follow you to the big city. Instead were on our living room furniture. Trevor i know you were worried this pandemic might stop you from reach you can dreams. I want you to know, even without this pandemic, no one reaches their dreams. Nobody. Most people end up doing a job they dont hate until they retire. Just life. You think my dream was to work on this show . I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be a dancer. I wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to not live in a hotel room in bulgaria. The concierge is a horse. And. Trevor and the fact is the story of your life is still being written. This is just one chapter in your life, a life that will no doubt be filled with many other pandemics. But, remember, you have so much to look forward to. Like the year 2025. I think this shit will die down by then. And once this is all over, your class will make a huge difference in the world. Statistically speaking, 10 of you will go on to lead companies. The rest of you will probably murder someone. Great things await you. Until then, use this time to travel. Go on an adventure to, like, i dont know the other side of the hotel room. Explore the really far corners of your backyard. I heard somebodys buried there . Visit the at tick of your the attic of your house. Find your moms old journal who says your dad wasnt her first choice but she settled for him because eye doctors made great money and she would learn to love his nipple hair. As you go out into the world, remember all the teampeople who touched you along the way because those are probably the assholes spreading this virus. Why are they going around touching everybody . Let me tell you something, if you try to touch me, im going to ~bleep . Trevor as you move forward, the most important piece of advice i can give you is this you are much stronger than you think, just like that offbrand toilet paper you found on the dark web. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Trevor good luck. Good luck. Help me get out of this hotel. For real, call the embassy. Trevor when we come back, ill talk with the great singer sock writer jason isbell. Stick around. Sunday dinner has always been special. Its just nice to have something to look forward to. Well, break out the good plates and tell the kids to wash up, because its sunday dinner, even if it isnt sunday. We arent keeping track of days anyhow. Now through may 17, enjoy free access to the best shows and movies from favorites like hbo, showtime, starz and for the first time ever, hulu and peacock watch the show starring that guy you saw in that other thing. You know the one. Or the series this kid on reddit says is legit, punch emoji, explosion emoji. Even the one with the actor people say looks just like your boss. And maybe sounds like him too. Put your phones down. Everyones got a show to recommend. Watch the best for free. Just say watchathon into your voice remote, or download the Xfinity Stream app. With unlimited from metro and the new iphone se. Gabriel rules. Hes working hard to make sure a Family Tradition stays a tradition. Get the brandnew iphone se for less than a hundred bucks when you switch to metro. The daily distancing show. Earlier today, i spoke with grammy Award Winning musician jason isbell, and we spoke about his new album reunions and how the coronavirus is going to impact the Music Industry. Jason isbell, welcome back to the daily show. Now known as the daily distancing show. How are you, sir . Im good. All things considered, were healthy and relatively sane. Thanks for having me. Trevor coronavirus has affected everybodys lives in varying ways. For people like you, like you said, youre healthy, youve got your family and youre making do, but theres no denying that the Music Industry is going to be one of the hardest hit after this virus i mean, its going to take a long time before people can be in groups again, its going to be a while before we see large gatherings. Tell me about the Music Industry and whats happening, as a musician, as somebody whose music pays so many peoples salaries, whether people who work on the venues, on the road, what are you seeing from the Music Industry now . Nobody knows whats going to happen and we all, i think, have come to a consensus that its going to be bad. You know, for me, like, when im in the bubble of my h