I know what my true calling is, and i am going to keep this going all the way to washington. [ cheers and applause ] hold on wait it wasnt me i wasnt the one who brought the canadians here. It was something just like this. Dont you see . If theres anything weve learned, its that we have to stop this kind of sensationalistic politics before the same thing happens to us, because if we let this kind of. This. Kind of. Dude. Unbelievable. All right, my friends, i have to say goodbye now because im off to washington with my running mate. [ cheers and applause ] [ engine turns over ] [ engine revs ] buckle up, buckaroo [ cheers and applause ] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out thank you so much for coming out take a seat lets make a show im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is a legendary actor who plays roger ailes in a new movie about fox news. John lithgow is here, everybody cheers and applause so excited. Also, on tonights show, jaboukie checks in on americas new founders. Apple is actually an apple and Congress Goes to law school. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with tick tock. A. D. H. D. In app form. Kids these days use it for everything from making jokes to sharing stories and political activism. Now a new viral tick tock has some people wondering if there should be a limit. How much is social media a part of some kids lives . In the case of the teenagers youre about to meet, the answer would seem to be its essential. They were involved in a car crash and almost middle east posted a video on the popular app tik tok. These teens are reporting the aftermath of a bad car accident that happened only moments earlier. You can see the cracked windshield and then they got camera ready making a video that they posted on the popular tik tok app, lip syncing while waiting for police. What this shows is where young people have their priority. Yes. That they thought it was more of a priority to make a video. Trevor okay, im just going to say this straight up this is how you know you dont have immigrant parents. laughter because if you crash your parents car and your parent is an immigrant, forgetting making a tik tok, you will be writing your will. Immigrant parents are the only ones who would show up to that crash and say did my son survive . Luckily hes fine. Unluckily hes fine, huh . laughter but i guess this is what kids in the social media generation do. Theres no situation they dont think of turning into viral content. If the movie taken came out now, liam neesons daughter would probably make a tik tok under that bed. She would be, like, you had a bad day, you had a bad day laughter speaking of car wrecks, the Trump Administration. Every day it feels like President Trump saying . Something that causes outrage. Called countries in africa shit hoholes. Sometimes its easy to forget while trump is loudly offending people, his administration is quietly affecting people. Nearly 700,000 americans are now in jeopardy of losing their food stamp benefits under a new Trump Administration regulation. The new regulation makes it more difficult for states to waive a requirement that ablebodied adults without children work at least 20 hours per week. Its part of the Trump Administrations efforts to cut the Supplemental Nutrition Program otherwise known as snap. The Administration Says the new real aims tone courage those receiving snap to get a job. Trevor okay, this is just horrible, man. Youre going to cut food stamps to people and youre saying its because you want to inspire them to get jobs . Thats only going to make it harder to get a job. How are you supposed to make a good impression at an interview if youre hungry. The person will be, like, why do you want this job . Because i need to eat, bitch. laughter and also to do this during the holidays, you know, like, that is so heartless from trump. Sometimes i think trumps world view is twisted to everyone else. I bet when trump watched 101 dalmatians, it was a sad movie about a woman who couldnt get a coat. Honestly what i find interesting is that you always have politicians who take services away from poor people because they claim it will inspire them to become better. But when it comes to big corporations, all of a sudden their attitude changes to we have to help out these Oil Companies and these farmers, they need our support youre, like, what about poor people . Yeah, i guess we could give poor people to the Oil Companies. We could try it. laughter finally, if this news has you worried about losing your food stamps and you just want to stock up in case . Theres a new food that will keep for a while. A new type of apple is hitting supermarkets this week and if you buy some they might still be good for next years holiday apple pie. The cosmic crisp reportedly could keep for more than a year in storage. Its a cross between the enterprise and honey crisp apples and gives them a higher shelf life while holding naturally sweet flavor and they are resistant to browning. Trevor what . They invented a new apple that can last for a year . Why do we even need new apples . There are already too many apples, okay . We got so many apples out there we need white people to pick them. Thats too many. laughter applause we dont need fancy new apples that dont go bad. We need fancy new oranges that know how to peel themselves. Thats what they need to invent. By the time youre doin doan peeling the ones we have now they look like you strangled ernie to death. Orange, half of it is the white stuff youre trying not to eat. You know how i know oranges are shit . They named it orange, its a color. Someone took a bite and said you dont deserve an identity. We dont need new apples, we need new oranges. I just compared apples and oranges and everybody said it couldnt be done but i just did it. Lets move on to our top story applause impeachment, a juice cleanse for the oval office. Were getting closer and closer to the fateful vote. So lets catch up on the latest developments in our ongoing segment in magical wonderful road to impeachment. cheers and applause singing its probably president ial harrisment. Trevor this morning impeachment took yet another major step forward when nancy pelosi, speaker of the house and sober lucille gathered all the flags she could find for a major announcement. Nancy pelosi announcing articles of impeachment against President Trump will proceed, pelosi telling america President TrumpLeft Congress with no choice but to move forward. Sadly but with confidence and humility with allegiance to our founders and heart full of love for america, today i am asking our chairman to proceed with articles of impeachment. Trevor oh, my god oh, my god oh, my god they finally proposed articles of impeachment i mean, i knew when they reserved that hearing room this would be it but you never know it till it happens oh, my god im so happy for you guys pelosis announcement comes a day after the latest impeachment hearing when legal scholars were brought in to give their opinions on impeachment, and most agreed that djt needs to go. The democrats arguing the president s conduct regarding ukraine is exactly what the founders had in mind when they wrote impeachment into the constitution. President trumps conduct as described in the testimony in evidence clearly constitutes impeachable high crimes and misdemeanors under the constitution. If we are to keep faith with our constitution and republic, President Trump must be held to account. If what we are talking about is not impeachable, then nothing is impeachable. Trevor wow. If this is not impeachable, then nothing is impeachable. Most of us thought that sounded powerful, but trump probably thinks that just means he can do whatever he wants. Yeah, he heard that and was, like, yay nothing is impeachable i can do anything look at me im running around with scissors la, la, la ow ow ow this cut me this work for the deep state laughter so the three constitutional experts called by the democrats testified yesterday that trumps actions were, like, super impeachable. But according to the republicans on the committee, these people werent saying this because theyre constitutional scholars, theyre saying it because theyre drinking trump hateorade. How many of you voted for trump in the 2016 campaign. I dont think were obligated to abs that. The gentlemen may ask the question, witnesses dont have to respond. How many of you supported donald trump in 2016, show of hands. Not raising our hands is not an indication of an answer, sir. Trevor can we just agree that people in power should never be asking anyone who they voted for. applause its not part of a healthy democracy. Theres a reason theres a curtain on the voting booth, its so you can cast your vote in secret and shower afterwards, okay . laughter i also like the sly way the congressman was interrogating the panel. I felt like i was watching a scene with christoph, with a show of hands, who actually voted for donald trump, you are friends here, come on, come on, you can tell me german accent laughter the professors went after their credentials. We had one professor who just absolutely fictionalized what the president said to meet her own statement and then another said he was so reluctant to go to impeachment when his tweets from day one nearly have been he wants to go fullspeed ahead. So all ive got to say is if you love america, mommas, dont let your babies grow up to go to harvard or stanford law school. laughter trevor what . Mommas, dont let your babies go to harvard or stanford . Thats, like, a weird turn. laughter now i like to maam that there is some family in the south where a mother just found a harvard acceptance letter that her daughter hid under the bed. Shes horrified. Shes, like, what is this, mary lou . Is this an acceptance letter to harvard . Shes like, momma, i know you want me to go to princeton, but this is my dream, momma whats the point of living if i cant go to the Kennedy School of government, momma . How dare you upset your momma like this, what else are you hiding from me . Momma, im also gay. I dont care if youre gay love is love, you can love whoever you want as long as they didnt go to harvard cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. My new oneman play, annie get your degree, will be off broadway in two weeks. Thank you. So basically thats what happened. All right . Yesterday was a hearing with constitutional scholars that took us one step closer to impeachment. All of it was pretty standard except for one moment that got everybody talking and was when one of the scholars made a joke that backfired hard. One of the three scholars democrats called to testify had to apologize for mentioning the president s 13yearold son during her testimony. Republicans blasted stanford law professor familiar la karlan after she tried to make a point that plump does not have the same powers as king. The constitution says there can be no powers of nobility, so he can name his son barron but cant make him one. When you try to make a little joke out of referencing baron trump, that doesnt lend credibility to your argument. It makes you look mean. I want to apologize for what i said earlier about the president s son. It was wrong of me to do that. Trevor no, professor, what were you doing . You were brought in for your legal expertise, not to try and make jokes the c in cspan stands for, christ, this is boring, not comedy. laughter im not saying the professor had bad intentions, but as a rule, dont drag trumps underaged son into politics, especially when you have these two to make fun of. laughter seriously look at these two they look like the worlds most affordable personal injure attorneys. Look at them they look like failed clones of cellino and barnes. They look like they run a strip club by the airport. Not the classy one, the one with the bed bug problem. Why not go after them . So those are the highlights from yesterdays impeachment hearings and, after the break, we will be talking to our own legal expert who knows exactly what the Founding Fathers would have wanted. Well be right back. cheers and applause have you ever worked with dr. Francis . Oh yeah, hes ok. Just ok . Guess who just got reinstated well, not officially. Nervous . Yeah. Yeah me too. Dont worry about it, well figure it out. Ill see ya in there just ok is not ok. At t has americas best network, now with our best plans, at our best prices, starting at 35 a line for 4 lines. New from at t. Still fresh. Unstopables inwash scent booster downy unstopables when we were looking he wanted someone super quiet. Yeah, and he wanted someone to help out with chores. So, we got jeanpierre. But one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with renters insurance. Yeah, geico did make it easy to switch and save. Oh no. Theres a wall there now. Thats too bad. Visit geico. Com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be. [kfire it up [engine starting] duralast. Proven tough so you can plow through winter. And only at autozone. Americas number 1 battery destination. man and woman [burst of t lking to animals] vo it feels good to give back. attendant thank you so much. woman oh, you are so welcome. vo you can choose the aspca to get two hundred and fifty dollars from subaru when you get a new subaru, like the all new outback. vo 2 get 0. 9 during the subaru share the love event. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. When the house brought in legal scholars yesterday, they were there to answer one basic question. The four law professors who testified brought History Lessons to the hearing with talk of american Founding Fathers and british monarchs. Were looking back now to say what did the Founding Fathers envision about this country that we are now in . We found it fascinating to look back at the Founding Fathers and the definition of impeachment because it matters. This mornings hearing was meant to answer basic but very important questions what is impeachment . When is it justified . Should it apply here . Trevor what is impeachment . Shouldnt you have figured that out before you started this. Like about to have sex. Give me one second, baby, siri, what is vagina . laughter this is not the time but thats what yesterday is all about. Democrats and republicans each brought opposing experts on to determine whether or not the Founding Fathers would have impeached donald trump. Lets turn to our constitutional expert jaboukie youngwhite, everybody cheers and applause jaboukie, i was actually surprised to find this out but you are an expert on the Founding Fathers. Oh, no, im not. I just told you that so i could get on tv. laughter cheers and applause trevor wow, thats actually really disappointing because i was hoping you could tell us if the Founding Fathers would have wanted trump to be impeached or not. The truth is thats impossible. You cant guess what the Founding Fathers would do today based on what they wrote back then, the world is just so different now. Trevor thats interesting. Are you saying americans of today should apply their own principles instead of asking what the founders would have wanted . No, hmum. laughter im saying we should still have ask the Founding Fathers directly, which is why i have my crystal ball. Trevor oh. Oh, wow. applause so, wait, are you a medium . Um, no, im usually a small, but laughter i dont know. I cant tell. Trevor i meant the ball. Are you going to yes, sorry. Concentrate. Okay. Spirit of george washington. What do you think of impeaching the president . Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. All right. Trevor wait, what is he saying. Okay. Hes saying america is not a monarchy, we dont want a king. Hes saying we must honor our democratic traditions. Okay. Now hes saying the nword. Not even like angry. I just think he doesnt have another word for black people. Trevor i think we got off track with him. Is there another founding father we could talk to . Im going to contact thomas jefferson. He wants to speak to me. He thinks im his grandson. Okay. laughter hello, Trevor Trevor oh, my god. President jefferson. What do you think should happen to President Trump . America, stay true to your principals, follow your heart, dont hide yourself in regret, just love yourself in your set. Youre on the right track, baby, we were born this way, born this way trevor no, jaboukie god makes no mistakes. We were born this way trevor i thought this way trevor seriously we were born. Trevor seriously. This way. Trevor the Founding Fathers werent listening to lady gaga, dude. Maybe if they did we would be in better shape. Trevor jaboukie youngwhite. Well be right back. You just wasted my time. This is a tv show cheers and a once a year, cats compete for the chance of a new life. Cross paws. Im quite obviously the best. Lets dance. Here we go. Yeah i love it. Now it is time to make the choice. Ah hah not much, how about you . Are you answering my text in person . I am. Yeah. Lol. Come on in. This is tech that helps you be there. The nissan altima. Now offering the most techadvanced engine in its class. Now offering the most techadvanced we ordered 10,000 units. That sounds good. Pretty cool, huh . Theyre speaking to mom in japanese, and mom hears them in english. Can you understand me . Yes, i can understand you. Okay. I have a lot of questions. How do you guys fly . What does santa do in the summer . Is mrs. Claus a good cook . Do you guys get presents . Can you roller skate or ice skate . cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the show. My guest tonight is a an emmy and Tony Awardwinning actor who plays roger ailes in the new film bombshell. Everybody on my shows knows the meaning of decency, and i do mean everybody a tv outfit needs tough, confident women. Do i push them . You bet your ass i do. But have i ever demanded sex during a casting session . I defy you to find any evidence that a single part of what these women are saying is true. Get ready. More will come. We need to let rupert know what it means if i lose. Gretchen carlson coul