Boom head shot. Boom head shot. Well, i finally got my family to use the living room for an hour each night. Im still really confused, dude. I have no idea what that was about. Yeah. And i guess thats the point. I dont think were gonna understand. Maybe this is all the beginning of a new art form. Youtube celebrities are only getting bigger, and whats great is that these people are inventing themselves instead of being marketed and shoved down our throats. Yeah. No matter what we think, its not just a passing trend. We need to realize that the new generation of entertainment is here. And i think thats great. Yeah, i think thats great, too. All right, bros, it looks like well have to end it there. I want to thank south park for being on my show. I hope you bros enjoyed watching. And as always, stay awesome oh, thats it, bros. Shows over. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in and thank you as always for coming out im trevor noah our guest tonight is an actor, comedienne and author here with a new netflix special and a brandnew book, jenny slate is joining us, everybody cheers and applause also on tonights show, facebook is banning sex, donald trump doesnt know how to stand, and the ugly truth about vaping. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with the big social media controversy. Recently, facebook said that it would not ban political ads even if they made false statements, and everyone said, oh, man, were screwed and now facebook is saying, oh, no, well make sure youre not screwed. Facebook and instagram users who post emojis or emoji strings in a sexual manner will now face being banned. That means if you use eggplant, peach or sweat emojis, facebook and instagram will be looking at just how youre using them. Trevor really, facebook . Youre banning egg plant and peach emojis . You realize it will be hard to explain how grandmas egg post and peach salad post got dilated dleetd. So, grandma, facebook thinks youre a hoa. Shes, like, you do one gangbang and it follows you what . laughter theres apparently nothing facebook can do if russians post fake political ads or nazis send Death Threats but now theyre coming after horny people weve got a cold water squirt here, fellas its hard to explain to someone from the 19th century how dating has changed. In my day, we would put a son et into a love letter. Really . We just text vegetables that look like our ding dongs. laughter the city of los angeles is trying to ban actual humans. Las vegas makes it illegal to camp or sleep on the streets or sidewalks, at the city council approving the measure in front of a firedup crowd. chanting protesters say the ban criminalizes the homeless population, those violating the law could be fined up to 1,000 or put in jail for six months. Trevor are you shitting me . This is heartless and disgusting. The city of vegas is making it a crime for a homeless person to sleep on the street. Whats the pitch . We dont want the Homeless People because they might scare away the usual crowd of pimps and bookies, you know. laughter how are you going to fine a homeless person . Asking them to pay a fine is like asking nancy pelosi to blink. Its not gonna happen. Those eyes dont close laughter its also crazy the punishment for being homeless in the street will be six months in jail. This is the paradox of america because the government could be providing housing for Homeless People, instead theyd rather spend 4,500 per person to put a homeless person in prison, which is a place with a roof, bed and tv. Just give them a house, take away the bars and the toilet wine, its the same thing. applause but instead the city is going to force the people to live in jail and at the end of the sentence you would be, like, youre free do you have a house yet . No. Well get back in there laughter we all know 911 is the number to call when theres an emergency but you may want to have a backup. The 911 personnel under fire after an emergency call was mishandled while investigators say the supervisor was apparently screaming netflix. When a gunman opened fire, his bullet barely missed a woman sitting in her car. She called 911 three times, but the police never came, in part because the supervisor was distracted, watching netflix and hulu on the job. I just called the police a few good minutes ago and theyre still not here and i just got shot at in the car. I dont know what to do. Im freaking out. Another four minutes passed, still no cops. Hi, i just called. Im going to drive to the police station. Is that okay . Trevor oh, man first overall, i need the gumption of this woman. She gets shot at, the police dont answer so shes like im just going to drive to the station myself . Thats conviction because grub hub gives me a call kale salad instead of ice cream, im grumbling, yeah, ill take it. What if she gets to the station and the cops are also watching netflix. Then shell have to investigate herself, find the shooter, take him to court, then the judge is also watching netflix, so she has to do the trial herself, its like a onewoman justice system. Which is a great story, they should make it into a show on netflix. I think that would be ray great show and the police will be watching it when she calls. Can we admit this is partly netflixs fault, though . They make binging too addictive. Maybe netflix should have a setting for people at work so it says, if you like stranger things, you may like doing your ~bleep job it might work i do have a tip for anyone, though if you do call 911 and you suspect that they are ignoring you because theyre watching netflix, there is a code you can use to make sure they send someone right away. Say black guy then they spring right into action. It really works well. Just pick up a phone and be, like, hello 911, my cat is struck in a tree and theres black guy out there. Were send something one right away hes on his way thats it for the headlines, lets move on to our top stories. cheers and applause our main story is about vaping. Its for people who like smoke bug dont like to look cool. When vape pens first came out they were marketed as a better alternative to smoking no smell, no mess and most importantly said it was better for your health which sound liked the holy grail. Imagine if they came out with a tequila that caused you to make good se decisions. Dude, i drank so much last night i created an app that connects Healthcare Providers with low income families who need it and i didnt call my ex, i was smashed laughter last year we found out vaping was not as innocent as we were told. Were also learning the Vaping Companies are shady as shit. A new lawsuit claims ecigarette maker jull shipped and sold contaminated vaping pods to customers and retailers. An executive admits at least one million tainted pods were put on the market earlier this year. Former juul president claims he was fired in march for raising concerns about the quality to have the products sold. The lawsuit claims then c. E. O. Kevin burns responded to the concerns saying half our customers are drunk and vaping hike ~bleep , who the ~bleep is going to notice the quality of our pods . Trevor i dont know whats worse, the fact juul was shipping contaminated pods or the fact their c. E. O. Didnt give a shit about his customers. He treats them like the way trump treats the english language, not good, quid pro quo applause and this lawsuit is only the latest in a long string of vaping controversies. There have been widespread reports about people getting sick and dying from vaping and people who thought they were vaping but just sucking on a usb drive. Oh, oh, powerpoint, oh you may be wondering how did an industry that barely existed a few years ago turn into a nationwide epidemic. Lets find out in another installment of if you dont know, now you know. applause so how did Electronic Cigarettes become the biggest thing on the streets . Well, their rise to the top started a lot like regular cigarettes. Theres no question that the ecigarette industry has ripped its tactics straight from big tobaccos playbook. Take a look at the glamorous woman smoking a cigarette in the 1930s, and this one today in an add for an ecigarette. The rugged cowboy then and now. Reactorring, relaxation, freedom, traveling and sex appeal. Ecigarettes can be promoted in music videos like tobacco corporations used to pay stars to Smoke Cigarettes on screen. Trevor thats irresponsible. Celebrities shouldnt be advertising addictive substances to their fans which is why the only product i endorse is cabbage. Cabbage. One thing you definitely wont get addicted to. Mmm mmm i dont want any more of this. No laughter now, to be clear, Vaping Companies arent bad guys because they advertise their product. What made this a sinister industry is who they were advertising their products to. The f. D. A. Slamming popular popularecigarette maker juul for marketing directly to students. Juul spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to fund youth programming. Two teenagers testified a juul representative came to their school to give an antivaping and when the teacher left the room told them it was safe to use. It becomes in flavors they like. Theyre easy to hide. You cant fell its a teenagers lip gloss or cologne or if its a vape. I think you can tell because theyre sucking on it. Im pretty sure teenagers arent taking drags off eternity for men. Something tells me kids get away with a lot at this principals school. Boy, it sure is remarkable how many students here are texting about their eggplants getting rained on these kids love gardening but when you look at everything from vape pen designs to their outreach you dont have to be a genius to realize they wanted their products in the hands of teens, and the flavors are probably the biggest red flag of all, i mean, mango, cotton candy, jelly donut. These things are so targeted at kids, im shocked they didnt have a breast milk flavor. According to the vape lobby, all these flavors are clearly for adults only. The industry is not targeting children. Just because youre an adult doesnt mean that you dont like gummy bears. I see adults buying packs after gummy bears all the time. Just because youre an adult doesnt mean you dont like good flavors. Trevor i hear you, rodeo accountant, i hear you. laughter but you have to admit, the vaping lobbys excuses sound a lot like a pedophiles excuses. The candy and disney movies i keep in the car are for me, adults like mawana, too the biggest ecigarette company has curbed marketing to kids and gotten rid of the super fruity fantastic totally adult flavors. Unfortunately, it might be too little, too late, because countless teens already addicted to vaping and schools across the country are struggling with the outbreak. Its a nationwise problem. In texas some schools make kids roll up their long sleeves so they cant hide the devices. In february, in nebraska, they are randomly testing students in Extracurricular Activities for nicotine. There are vape sensors in illinois and new jersey bathrooms. One Alabama High School taking extreme measures after the student was found passed out from vaping. The principal removed the doors off the stalls which some parents say thats excessive. Trevor some parents say its excessive to force students to shit in front of everybody . Who are the other parents who are, like, its dinefein, my kid doesnt deserve privacy. Aside from t. I. , who are the other parents in hes probably like take the doors off those stalls expeditiously. laughter i think we can all agree that neither kids nor schools should be responsible for fixing this addiction crisis. The Companies Like juul have helped create. If anything, ecigarette companies should be forced to pay for damage they have caused, the same way Opioid Companies are forced to pay, or how nabisco had to pay for cookie monsters rehab. We should go to juuls offices and take the doors off their bathroom stalls till they fix the shit theyve done applause thats how vaping became the crisis it is in america today. If you dont know, now you know. Well be right back. cheers and applause youve got to do it. And keep doing it. Because there are those who dont. And those who do. Lets do. What is that . Uh mine, why . Its just that its. Lavender. Yes it is, its for men but i like the smell of it laughs trevor welcome back to the daily show. You know, we talk a lot about President Trump on this show, and for good reason not only is he one of the most powerful people in the world, but hes also one of the absolute weirdest people in the world. laughter hes got weird hair, hes got weird moves, hes got weird friends, but theres one donald trump quirk that hasnt gotten the immediate yea attention it deserves, and that has to be the way he stands. laughter look at him. That is not how a normal human being stands. Like, he looks like a penguin that got butt implants. laughter but the question is, where did he learn to stand like that . Well, we tracked down the man behind the stand. laughter you call this standing . You call this standing . You call this standing . I call that stinking look at this spine straight, up and down spine youre a freak you see how his legs are wide giving him a nice base . Thats ~bleep wrong. Look how his ears are attached to his head ive got ears over here look how his arms are at his side comfortably. Makes me want to puke i am puking im augustus man drake and im a posture expert. I run the academy of standing normally in a way that isnt weird. And, yeah, i taught President Trump. Everything he knows about standing, every pose, every marionism, every iconic stance he learned from me. If you want to stand normally you have to pop your ass out. I want your head in rhode island and your ~bleep ass in tokyo. Okay . Let me show you. First thing you set is your ass. Pop it. Work at trader joes, bang president of the united states. Pop it. See what im doing here . Look at my ass. This is the only place that you can ever hear a teacher say look at my bleep ass. Spine curved, arms up, ass out. See . See how normal i look right now . Like im walking into a hurricane. And then if you want variation, drop the arms down. Woo, now im the president of the united states. You see the way most people stand . Its wrong. Thats why i teach the natural way, the way that evolution intended our spines to stand. S because if youre standing normally, it should hurt. And thats my motto. This is what were looking for, okay . Notice the frankenstein shoulders. Notice the hands. See how it looks like hes carrying two briefcases that somehow caught on fire . Do you see how incredibly normal it looks when he does that . I need four volunteers. You, you, you and you. Come on up. Now, try to stand like the president , not like four idiots who suck at standing, okay . More normal more normal more normal aaaa what is this . I just think i should stand a little straighter. I have been standing normal in a way that isnt weird for 30 years, and you are a sack of dog shit. So, no, you shouldnt stand up straighter. Now get out. Get out yeah, me and the president talk, i dont know, three or four times a day. We usually talk standing, posture, war with iran. We also talk sitting. Because the president didnt just go to my standing academy, he also graduated from my other school, the academy of sitting like a regular person who is definitely not incredibly strange. He was the valedictorian. The president is a fighter, and let me tell you, if you want to stand up for yourself like the president , then you need to know how to stand. cheers and applause Trevor Michael kosta, everybody well be right back cheers and applause the following is a paid message. For a chip so iconic, we dont need to name it. No logos, no gimmicks. Just those red and blue bags with the stuff you love in it. Man you know the brand. Its the threesided crunch. That had you trade your buddies for it, if they packed a pack at lunch. No logo, but our names on the tip of your tongue. Shaking for crumbs when the bag is done of that cheesy, spicy, crispycrunchy, flavor packed bodega snack that rhymes with. I need those. But an ad with no logo . Its another level. Only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is an actor, comedienne and author whose new book is called little weirds and her debut netflix comedy special is called stage fright. I dont know if anyone here is a sucker like me and does those, like, bar classes where youre supposed to, like, sculpt your clit into an ancient arrowhead or whatever . laughter theyre, like, were going to target the small muscles im, like, if i knew we were going to target the small muscles, i would have stayed home, because i super know how to target. I get a bullseye every time. laughter i close my eyes and think of all my friends being, like, wait, we cant start without jenny and then i target, i target. I target hard. Trevor please welcome jenny slate cheers and applause trevor welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Trevor and congratulations on having not one but two new projects out at the same time that are getting great reviews from people who are watching and reading them. Lets talk first about the book little weirds. Its interesting because you say you didnt want to write a book about, you know, your time in comedy, you didnt want to write about snl, you just wanted to write about your weird little world. I was, like, what does that mean . But when you read it its, like, you have a very strange mind. As beautiful mind, but it is a strange mind. I mean, you write about, like, the idea of being born as a croissant, for instance. Is that how your mind works . Is that whats always going on . You know, i do think its pretty various inside and that is the scope of my imagination, but part of writing this book was like, you know, sometimes, especially if youre a comedienne, theyre, like, we want you to write comedic essays about the famous people youve met or something or where you have been, and for me, i wrote this at a time when i kind of felt like i needed to get to know myself again. So i started to write little pieces just about what i was observing in myself, and the piece youre talking about, the croissant, it comes from this weird feeling that i have been having, like, for over a decade that was just a wish that i would be walking down the street and people would see me and be, like, shes probably are from france. laughter you know . Trevor i dont know. I dont know what that means. I love it. No, yeah, it means like shes classy, shes just over it. laughter trevor i think that is the best description for a french person ive ever heard. Yeah. Trevor lets t