Thats okay, you guys. So. So thats it . No 200 million . Well, butters, i hope youre happy. Im a bad bear. Im very bad ol bear. Youre a grounded ol bear. [moaning] oh, my god. Its so gross. Let me out of here. What the [bleep] is that . Paris, you must find your way out of this place, or you will surely die. What . Make your way to small intestine. There you will meet the sparrow prince who can guide you to catatafish. Now go paris hilton, make haste. A great adventure is waiting for you ahead hurry onward paris hilton or you will soon be dead the road ahead is full of danger and fright but push onward paris hilton with all of your might paris hilton paris hilton, paris hilton paris hilton from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out wow so much energy. Thank you for coming out lets do it. Lets make a show. Im trevor noah. Our guest tonight, our guest tonight is the only republican senator who is tuly willing to talk with us. Senator rand paul will be joining us, everything. Also, mutiny on a cruise ship. California goes back to the dark ages. And shockingly, theres a war in the middle east. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with the big news out of california. Last year around this time, falling power lines sparked major wildfires across the state. So with the winds picking up again, the Electric Company decided to play it safe and pull the plug. Tonight, californias largest utility taking an extraordinary move, cutting power to hundreds of thousands to avoid wildfires sparked by a windblown power lines, but many are furious. The Utility Company pg e just proactively shut power off across the region after power lines sparked a series of historically devastating wildfires. While residents stocked up on supplies, the lines crashing, leaving families like the garcias wondering how long they have to power through without electricity. I hope it doesnt last five days. Thats kinds of insane. Trevor thats right, california has turned off the employer for half a Million People to prevent wildfires. Can may be smart for safety, but obviously it sucks for the people without electricity. Because now they have to talk tow their families for the first time in ages. It will be so awkward. So, tommy, how is fourth grade . Dad, im in grad school. Oh, oh, man, when is touchdown coming back. You know what is not cool, the Power Company shut off power for 600,000 people, but they made sure Silicon Valley got to keep their electricity. Everyone else has like, they should have done the opposite. They should have only shut down Silicon Valley. Because we could use a break from social media. Come on now. Wouldnt that be nice . No twitter, no facebook. No one has to read their racist uncles Facebook Status or their racist president s tweets. It would be so much fun. cheers and applause you know who is winning so hard right now, you know who is winning hard . Amish people. Archbishop because they finally get a chance to act smug as hell, just rolling into town on their horse and buggy, singing old town road. Just like, well, well, well, feeling stressed art thou . Would love to stay and chat with you light bulbloving bleep . My butter aint going to churn itself. Jeremiah out this story is a reminder we made too many things electricity that we dont need. When the power goes out, youre like, how will i brush my teeth . Oh, no. How will i smoke my weed theyre like, we could have sex. I cant. My penis wont work without power. Alexa . Lets move on toes now from somewhere off the coast of norway. A boat load of people who thought they were embarking on an exciting cruise of the fjords of norway got a different kind of excitement. Mutiny on a cruise ship. Several say the toilet stopped working. The toilet does not flush. It smells. It leaks. Passengers got into tense confrontations with the crew. There is nothing you can say not one thing they dont want any of the video going viral theres no internet they shut down the internet. Norwegian cruiseline issued a statement apologizing for their guests inconvenience, blaming weather for the change in itinry. They offered passengers a 25 credit for a future trip. Trevor instead of a refund, the cruiseline is offering 25 off another crews . Thats hellagangsta, man. Imagine if the titanic did that . Pulling people into the lifeboats. Im so sorry your husband froze to death. Heres a coupon for a frozen margarita next time. I get the vacation wasnt perfect but im not going to lie, some people were being extreme. The toilets dont flush, but youre still on a cruise ship. You have slides expendless alcohol. The toilets dont work. The ocean is right there, natures original toilet. Do your thing, over the side, back to the pool. You know how i know things werent that bad is because people got together to make a group sign. That doesnt happen in a real disaster. laughter when shit is really going down, no one is like, were gog die who has pen and paper were all goana die were all gonna die. Wouldnt it be funny if the passengers take over. I want to see the captain. Imagine if they took over the ship and it became a pirate cruise, sailing around the seas attacking other cruises. Arrggh take the buffet. To a fun time in the air gone really long. Hot air balloon horror, flames erupting at one of the nations largest festivals. Fire falling from the skies. A hot air balloon engulfed in flames with a passenger and pilot on board. Just one in a string of balloons in stress during one of the nations largest festivals, the Albuquerque International balloon fiesta in new mexico. Authorities also rushing to help the passengers on this balloon after it goes flying into the cable line. And not frar there, a balloon crashed into a tree on a golf course and is ripped apart. Trevor okay, i am so happy everyone survived those crashes. And on top of that it is nice to see a story where i know no black people were hurt. laughter applause i dont even need to read the articles on this. So things didnt go as planned. What was the plan . Theyre balloons. You cant control them. Imagine if you got in your car and it just went in the direction the wind was blowing. All right, on my way to work. No it looks like im going into the lake i dont know about you, but im not getting into any mode of transportation built around a basket. Ive never been at a picnic and thought i want to do that in the sky. Thats it for the headlines. Lets move on to our top story. cheers and applause donald trump. President of the United States and joker understudy. laughter it feels like we say this a lot but the president is not having a good time. A new poll is out showing 51 of americans now support impeaching and removing him from office. And by the way, by the way, this was cheers and applause this was a fox news poll. Yeah. Which must have hurt. It must have hurt trump. Thats like if gayle said she was 51 against oprah. laughter while the ukraine scandal continues to engulf President Trump, Vice President mike pence is doing everything he can to stay clean i never discussed the issue of of the issue of the bidens with president zelensky what i can tell you is all of our discussions internally i mean, the president and our team in our context in my office with ukraine, were entirely focused on the broader issues of the lack of european support and corruption. But you were aware of the bidens being investigated and that being tied to aid to ukraine being held up. Thats your question. Let me be very clear. Trevor goddamn laughter oh, mike pence avoided that question like it was a woman with her ankles showing. That was extreme. laughter i like how he says, well, thats thats your question. Yeah. And now you answer. Thats how questions work. Mike pence is out here trying to pull conversion therapy on a question. Hes like, let the power of jesus rule cast out the demon in that question. Now, while the impeachment train is picking up steam, thats really not the big news today. The big news is turkey because earlier this week, President Trump ordered american troops to step aside in syria, allowing turkey to attack americas kurdish allies in the region. And guess what . Thats exactly what happened. Turkey tonight wasting no time launching a military attack on u. S. Kurdish allies inside syria just two days after receiving a Virtual Green light from President Trump. Dubbed operation peace spring by the turkish government. Turkish forces driving deeper into Northern Syria, attacking u. S. Allies, the kurds, with advancing troops on the ground, while pounding kurdish positions from the air. Another danger as kurdish fighters now rush to the front lines to defend themselves against turkey, they can no longer properly guard detention camps, packed with tens of thousands of isis members. Trevor what a shit show. Thanks to trumps impulsive decision, people are now fleeing syria. The turkish are now bombing the kurds. And over 10,000 isis fighters could be back on the loose. Yeah. Which is bad news for everyone. I mean, great news for truck dealers because isis guys love trucks, you know. And thats the only people who are winning. As soon as they escape theyll be like, were free, just in time for toyotathon. Yeah laughter so in the midst of this unfolding disaster, donald trump is responding in the only way he knows how by being petty as hell. Here is how President Trump defended his decision to abandon the kurds. The kurds are fighting for their land, just so you understand, theyre fighting for their land. And as somebody wrote in a very, very powerful article today, they didnt help us in the second world war. They didnt help us with normandy, as an example. Trevor wait, what . Trump saying america shouldnt help its kurdish allies because they didnt help america in world war ii . I mean, to be fair, not helping in a war is one area president bone spurs has experience with, but still, this logic doesnt hold up. cheers and applause because the kurds are helping america fight isis right now. Imagine if your boss used that logic, just walked in like, bill, youve been a great employee for the last five years, but you shit your pants 30 years ago. We gotta let you go. But i was a baby back then. H. R. Still thinks its gross. Im sorry, man. laughter oh, and just by the way, by the way, the kurds actually did fight with the allies in world war ii. So the next time trump wants to bring up history he should check with his friend frederick douglass. Its not a real thing. So trump clearly has no regrets about america abandoning an ally that has lost 11,000 of their troops helping fight this war. He also doesnt give a damn about what could happen if those isis fighters escape. The president pressed, too, on those isis prisoners. Could isis pose a threat elsewhere . Well, they could be escaping to europe. Thats where they want to go. Trevor wow. So what . Trump doesnt care about isis fighter because he thinks theyre only going to go to europe . Thats really heartless. And, also, trump, you realize you need europe, right, because without europe, theres no romania. Without romania theres no vampires. Without vampires, you dont have a lawyer. laughter applause who would the f. B. I. Indict . I mean. Secondly, its really shortsighted, because if you let thousands of isis fighters regroup, they could come back bigger than ever. Its exactly what happened with the backstreet boys. We took our eyes off them, they regrouped, and now theyre touring all over the world. laughter im just saying it might seen right now like a few isis prisoners, but in a few years well be like oh, my god theyre back again laughter so, look, trumps decision to move american troops and allow this invasion could have truly disastrous consequences, and many people are wracking their brains trying to figure out why trump did this out of nowhere. But instead of guessing, maybe we should just be listening to trump himself. President trumps decision to pull troops from Northern Syria is once again raising questions about his business dealings. As the Washington Post points out, the first person to suggest donald trump would have a conflict of interest in dealing president erdogan was actually trump himself. Here he is, back in 2015 trevor two towers negotiate trevor two hours not one. Its one and another one. I call it two in istanbul. laughter yeah. I mean, this whole thing would make sense because for trump, its always about real estate. People think hes playing threedimensional chess. Maybe hes just playing monopoly. But whatever the reason is, trump is now dealing with a major world crisis in addition to his impeachment inquiry. So thats two scandals, not one, but two. Well be right back. cheers and applause yeah, thats half the fun of a new house. Seeing what people left behind in the attic. Well, saving on Homeowners Insurance with geicos help was pretty fun too. Ahhhh, its a tiny dancer. They left a ton of stuff up here. Welp, enjoy your house. Nope. No thank you. Geico could help you save on homeowners and renters insurance. Geico could help you save on homeowners cmom and say it now. Just let the words come out. Give me your love. No calories. No sweeteners. All smiles™. Bubly sparkling water. Crack a smile™. Oh, pete . cmon man. What . We said pantyhose right . Here, eat this. Creamy snickers. You could use a little smoothness. Pete . Pete zagarene . Get smooth with the freshground nut butters in creamy snickers. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a physician and republican lawmaker from kentucky who has a new book called the case against socialism. Please welcome senator rand paul. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Its good to be here. I cant believe more republicans dont want to come on. Trevor its weird, right . It must hurt you right here. Trevor it hurts me so you know why . Because more republicans came to the show than democrats before trump was president. And then trump won, and then all of a sudden, you guys, its almost like you were afraid to come back. You think theres a cause and of affordable twfer are are effect between the two. Trevor wait, youre afraid of what trump will think if you come here . Is that what it is . laughter applause no, regardless, can i tell you, i appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate you coming here because i love having conversations. Were going to talk about the book the case against socialism. But i would be remiss if i didnt talk about the news of the day, donald trump pulling the troops out of the region in syria. You supported trumps decision to withdraw the troops. Why . As you and i have talked about before, ive been opposed to regime change and war in the middle east for a long time. I agreed with president obamas decision to come out of iraq. I never thought the iraq war was a good idea to begin with. I think it was one of the reasons he beat hillary clinton. I think its also been one of the things where there could be some agreement between right and left. But i think people kind of got distracted with the things they dont like about President Trump. But do we really want another war in syria . There are, like, five Different Countries fighting, and are 50 soldiers going to stop the advance of tens of thousands of turkish troops . Trevor but they did though. They did, and they were. Lets argue it this way there were 50odd american troops in that region, right . And the Turkish Forces werent attacking the kurdish forces. But no, they were gettingeato, ae 50 troops. But heres my point trevor so youre saying President Trump did that to protect the troops because that was about to happen. I think so. Trevor you think so or know so . Honestly, im asking. I havent had a discussion with the president about it. But what i would say is i think 50 troops are not what you really go to war with. So if you talk to our generals or you talk to our soldiers theyre of the belief if america is going to go to war, lets go to war, but you dont go to war with the 50 people. Right and left agree forward a long time regime change didnt help us in iraq. It didnt help us in libya. Maybe its not the job of america to always decide who runs every country. Trevor thats an interesting standpoint. Let me let me ask you this with regards to news that is happening now, aside from turkey. The impeachment scandal is growing every single day. You you know, youve had your points of view, and youve said, you know, you think the bidens should be investigated. You think that america should be looking into what trump donald trump has said is a corruption that is happening somewhere there. So i understand your standpoint and im not ignoring it. That aside, though, do you think that donald trump was appropriate in the way he handled that . Do you think he did it in the right way . Because if he believed there was a corruption, why did he not go through the f. B. I. . Why would he put pressure on a foreign leader with the promise of american aid . Most people in america want people to be judged with the same sort of law. Soy if it looks like were going to judge trump with one law and were going to judge biden with another law. Some people are going to say thats unfair. Some people retreat into a corner trevor if youre with those people, would you support both of them being judged, if they have both done something wrong . No, what i would say is yes. I would say that we can judge what they did whether it was right or wrong. I think there are a lot of different viewpoints on this, i think whose going to happen with the impeachment thing is people will retreat into their camps and finally make a judgment is it fair to treat people differently . Is it fair, or do we dislike other things about the president enough were fine going on this. I think there is a danger i think special prosecutors have too much power. And when the democrats win, theyll go after republicans, when the republicans win, theyll go after the democrats. I think theres a real danger to become our country where everything will be criminalized. Were going to have an election in a year. Can we wait a year to decide who the run the government . Audience no. Trevor i hear your point and while we think about it well go away fair short ad break and well have more with break and well have more with rand paul when we come bac youve got to do it.