thanks for watching. good night. ♪ if you can believe the truth that we share with you, and if you believe it enough that you can put your trust in me, and that's a big dose. that's a difficult task to trust me. you don't know me well enough to trust me. i understand. ♪ ♪ welcome to "how it really happened." i'm hill harper. in the 1970s, a mysterious religious group deeply shrouded in secrecy was slowly recruiting followers and gaining momentum. people disappeared from their everyday lives to join this movement, leaving behind more questions than answers. hardly anyone knew anything about this group until march of 1997 when news about them shocked the world and made history. we talked to the people who lived and breathed this incredible story to find out the truth and uncover the mystery of heaven's gate and how it really happened. ♪ alice: when gail got to be 21, she decided that she wanted to see california, and so she packed up her bags, and they took off for california. she seemed like she was doing okay. she seemed happy. alice: gail came home in 1993 to be in my niece's wedding. she was just as full of fun. there was not a hint that anything was different about gail. gail disappeared right after she went back from the wedding in '93. we were worried to death. where was she? who was she with? what was happening to her? robert: we didn't even know if gail was dead or alive until we started getting these flyers. one message from her was on the back of a ufo flyer. ♪ simpson: my brother jimmy had seen a ufo when he was a kid, and he was fascinated by that whole thing. he absolutely believed they existed and even young, seemed to have ufos connected to his spirituality. he seemed to feel that they were connected to god. at the time, i just thought it was his interest. just not too long after christmas in 1994, my mother called, and she was crying. she said that my brother jimmy had left a letter that he was leaving to join what she believed to be a monastery. jimmy was always inquisitive, and he was constantly pursuing his interest in other -- i guess it would be religions. i had asked her to find out if he had taken money, and she found out that he had cleaned out his bank account. he had told us that we could probably not find him, and he didn't want us to, but here's the thing. if you're joining a true religion, then you don't separate from the world. i cannot think of any other type of religion that would cause you to withdraw from your family, to have no contact, to not tell people where you are, and to take all of your money. robert: we were all concerned. these flyers that we got made me wonder what was going on. it had a date and a place on it where they were going to have a meeting, but we always got the flyer after the meeting was over, so we just completely lost contact with her. we just didn't know where he was or what he was doing. ronan: these weren't isolated cases. for the last 20 years, these people had been drifting off, losing touch with their family, their friends, their relatives. zeller: in waldport, oregon, this small little town, a fisherman's village in coastal oregon has a lot of sort of these hippie types, just sort of people who had dropped out of society. one day, out of the blue, a number of people just disappeared, dozens of people. zeller: the waldport, oregon, disappearances, as they were called, people who up and left, it made cbs' national news. a score of persons from a small oregon town have disappeared. it's a mystery whether they've been taken on a so-called trip to eternity or simply been taken. as was later found out, this wasn't a coincidence because all of these people, it turns out, had attended some sort of a meeting a couple days before, and that's where they came up with this plan to leave. and there was a poster on a telephone pole right outside this little general store, and it said, "ufos, who are they? where they have come from, and when they will leave?" even though i really knew nothing about ufos at the time, i just didn't disbelieve that it was possible, you know, that there could be beings from another planet or something. and at the time, i was still kind of a seeker. i didn't know what i was looking for. i remember thinking, "i want to be enlightened." this was something out of the ordinary, extraordinary, and we wanted to just check it out. i was looking for something. i didn't know what. they get a couple hundred people to pack the room of this tiny, little inn in waldport, oregon. greenberg: all the people that came together were counterculture people. we had lived on the edge. a lot of us were vietnam vets and stuff. lawrence: in the mid '70s, there were a lot of lost souls. remember what was going on. vietnam was still going on. the counterculture was still going on. zeller: people had been involved in other new alternative religions, such as the unification church, the moonies, or transcendental meditation or scientology. people were looking for answers to things they couldn't possibly get answers to. ronan: it turns out that this meeting in oregon had been set up by marshall applewhite, and he liked to call himself do and his partner, bonnie nettles, who went by the name of ti. sawyer: they were sitting in chairs on a stage, and then applewhite started talking. welcome to beyond human. we have a big picture to try to portray to you. he was an extremely charming and just a very persuasive, magnetic kind of guy. we have been given information on how to go from the human kingdom into the kingdom of heaven, and we want to share it with you. he just had a certain magnetism and an ability to bring people into the fold, so to speak. man: what attracted to you this group, aaron? the promise of everlasting life. i was promised that i would never die. they make you feel like you are a chosen one, like you are receiving this message because you are meant to. zeller: they say, "bring a tent. bring a change of clothes, but leave everything else behind and join us on this trip." i felt like, "i need to do this." it was just, like, that simple. when i joined, i was informed to try to wrap up the affairs of my life in two to three days. they get 20 to 40 people to actually agree to join them, to drop everything that they have and to just take off, basically, the next day. and six of us actually drove away in two cars. we left our world behind. and they gave away everything, including kids, all of their material belongings, property, automobiles, boats, and money and just left. we're still trying to compile our information. we're getting calls from all over the united states now of other people that have children missing, have had -- received letters from them. alice: once gail was missing, you go to bed at night and wonder, "where is she sleeping?" is she comfortable? is she fed? is she okay?" ronan: so you had worried parents and relatives, and they were very upset, but for all the worrying, nobody could have predicted that this was going to happen. they would become genderless, ageless, diseaseless, eternal perfect beings, angelic space aliens. it probably would look like what you might consider a very attractive extraterrestrial. ronan: in 1975, marshall applewhite and bonnie nettles went up to oregon, and they recruited people at the meeting in waldport, and then very shortly thereafter, a lot of people just left, and there were husbands and wives, and they just disappeared. we went to waldport, oregon, and we heard ti and do speak. a few days later, we were all headed for training as part of the next level's awakening. ronan: and then for about 20 years, they were flying under the radar, and no one really heard about them. when they left oregon in 1975, they went all over the country, traveling thousands of miles preaching this strange new-age philosophy. man: they'd wandered for years like nomads, working for a few weeks, then moving on. a long period of time, we had been in tents, and, oh, maybe little trailers because we were staying outside and just moving to wherever the climate would permit us to continue with our classroom. sometimes their group would grow. at one point, it grew to more than 100 people. then it would winnow down. people would leave. the group kept changing its name, so when a relative or friend would get a lead on what was going on, the name would change, and it made it very hard for friends and relatives to get any information. i may have the name wrong, but it was total renunciance in readiness for the kingdom of heaven. then it was called total overcomers. so it was very confusing as to what the name of the group was. ♪ jimmy was part of what is now known as heaven's gate for about 13 months, and he came back, and he spent several weeks with me. i asked him questions about the cult. i wanted to know what his beliefs were, and so he told me stories. ronan: marshall applewhite was able to convince his followers that there was a path to eternity and that they could live forever, but you had to go to outer space to have that eternity. they would transcend our planet and go to a physical place in outer space, which would be heaven. the startling thing to many is that the kingdom above human is physical. that was really important to them. it wasn't metaphoric. it wasn't sort of ethereal. it was a physical place. if you had a powerful enough telescope, you could see it. according to marshall applewhite, the only way you could get to this heavenly place was to hitch a ride on a ufo. the idea was that you were going to get on a spaceship and physically journey into the next level. they really thought they were going to find this spaceship. zeller: so someone was on duty to watch the sky, waiting for the ufo to land, at all times. when applewhite and when nettles are asked, "do you have to die to go on this journey," they say, "no." they say, "in fact, you can't die. it's a physical journey." it's possible that a spacecraft will come down, and we'll walk onboard that craft, and they'll take these bodies from us and issue us the ones that belong to that level. ronan: marshall applewhite told his followers that once they were onboard this ufo, they would be transformed into some sort of an alien, and from that, they would have eternal life in this new body. they say what they are teaching is a process by which a human body can biologically and chemically transform itself to become a next-level creature. klebnikov: they use the analogy of caterpillars. they believe that they were like caterpillars that would be transformed into butterflies. they would become genderless, ageless, diseaseless, eternal, perfect beings, angelic space aliens. applewhite: a creature that has two eyes, some remnant of a nose, some remnant of ears, have a voice box but don't really need to use it because they communicate with their minds. it probably would look like what you might consider a very attractive extraterrestrial. ronan: they were going to sail around on spaceships, and they were going to interact with planets and take care of them. they really believed what they were preaching and telling folks, but no one's been able to figure out how they came up with the idea. it's a bit of a mystery. velez-mitchell: these were two troubled people who were meeting at troubled times in both of their lives, and they made a connection. zeller: nettles is going through this divorce. she's separated. her family is sort of falling apart. she's basically what we would call today a new-ager, sort of this hodgepodge of different sort of alternative religious and spiritual practices. velez-mitchell: marshall applewhite's life was a total shambles. he's bisexual. so he's dating men, he's dating women, and it never works out. velez-mitchell: he had tried to do the straight and narrow, married, couple of kids, job as a professor. he ends up losing his job. he ends up losing this relationship. he ends up sort of confused and lost as a person, and that's just when he meets bonnie lou nettles. their eyes meet, and they realize that they are spiritual partners. and then she tells him, "you are the messiah. you are jesus christ reincarnated, and you have a mission on this earth." so it was almost like she was a little bit of the brains behind the operation, and he was the mouthpiece. together, it was a powerful combo. no one really knew how much influence they had on their followers. you have to know me. you have to trust me. you have to believe me. very, very short period of time, a leader can get them to believe the most preposterous things and even at the expense of their own instincts for survival. shell renewable race fuel. reducing emissions by 60%. ♪♪ we're moving forward with indycar. because we're moving forward with everybody. shell. powering progress. norman, bad news... i never graduated from med school. what? but the good news is... xfinity mobile just got even better! now, you can automatically connect to wifi speeds up to a gig on the go. plus, buy one unlimited line and get one free for a year. i gotta get this deal... that's like $20 a month per unlimited line... i don't want to miss that. that's amazing doc. mobile savings are calling. visit xfinitymobile.com to learn more. doc? lighting every soccer match at shell energy stadium. we're moving forward with the houston dash. because we're moving forward with everybody. shell. powering progress. ut to regain life, and we hope that our lesson time here has made us stronger and able for our better service. who were these people? well, obviously, very little is known about them at this particular point in time, but it is apparently clear that they were computer buffs. they were techies. many of them were. they had gotten involved in the tech industry and web design. they had gotten involved in programming. goodspeed: their personal appearance was a little bit odd, but once we got over that hurdle and got to know them, very genuine people and very talented in their craft. so people on the outside in regular society, they really had no idea what was going on within the group. zeller: we call heaven's gate by that name, but, in fact, members called it, "the class," and they saw ti and do as their teachers, starting in kindergarten, which is as a human being and culminating in graduation, which is as a space alien. ronan: in order to prepare for what was called a graduation, there was a very strict set of rules that marshall applewhite insisted on. he wanted to really strip the people of their humanness. the purpose of that is to go to the heavens. zeller: all aspects of life were regulated, including what books they could read and what tv shows they could watch. they could only wear certain clothes. every single aspect of their lives was dictated by these two. they all had close-cropped hair. they all wore the same things, as well. we noticed they all had short buzz cuts, real short haircuts, even the women. i mean, it was just hard to distinguish male from female. he offered a place to belong, but it was a rigid life of rules and isolation. you know, it's not an everyday normal type of situation. when people are drawn into this closed mind-set and this closed psychological and physical world, a very, very short period of time, a leader can get them to believe the most preposterous things and even at the expense of their own instincts for survival. i plan on following an older member, no matter where he goes or what it is. that is what i want to do, and that's what i have to do. the task of overcoming the human kingdom requires that they overcome the desire to cling to offspring or spouse or parents. golding: they were forbidden to contact family members, and i think that any cult or religion that doesn't allow you to contact your family should be a warning to everyone. zeller: members intentionally disconnected themselves from their families because they didn't think that was their real family. for them, their real family was the crew they were joining. now, breaking away from the world is not easy. it's difficult. it's tough. it means that you leave that world behind. we destroyed our old lives. i left my job. we left homes, families, everything. without a doubt, though, this caused unimaginable suffering. they would write letters now and then. they would send cryptic postcards saying, "i'm doing fine." alice: danny answered the phone, her brother, and he said, "hello?" and she said, "this is gail," and he said, "gail who?" and she said, "your sister!" and we were talking to her, you know, said, "gail, come on home." she said, "no, i'm too busy." alice: i said, "well, what are you doing now?" she said, "i'm learning computers," and i thought, "well, learning computers isn't bad, but maybe when you come out, you'll have some kind of a background," and -- but she said, "i have to go now." it's cut right off. she never called again. one of their tenets was no earthly desires, no earthbound anything. we're all totally celibate. there's no sexuality. there's no sensuality. that is just very distasteful to us. sawyer: we had to overcome our sexuality, and the reason for that was that there is no sexuality in the next level. zeller: they wouldn't need to reproduce. so overcoming this sexual-reproductive need of humanity was absolutely key to them. so the way you overcame that and, in fact, the way you overcame all your humanity was, you were paired up with a check partner. these two people were put in close physical contact 24/7. so you'd have to overcome the natural sexual tension which would evolve over spending 24/7 with someone. they were like a spouse where you have to work out all your issues. sawyer: there were times where i was partnered with a female that i was attracted to, and it was difficult. man: at one point, applewhite and others took celibacy a giant step further. zeller: eventually, eight members decide that they want to have themselves castrated. they want to have their sexuality chemically or ultimately surgically removed from them so they can overcome it. and i'm one of those students that did that, and i can't tell you how free that has made me feel. sawyer: i had compromised my vows of celibacy with entertaining thoughts of sexuality in my head. it was considered a major offense. i said, "i guess i have to leave." what differentiated this group from others is that you were free to go. we've always had free rein to come and go. in fact, more times than not, ti and do would put more effort into pushing anybody out of the class that didn't want to be here. if someone wanted to leave, often, they said, "please don't take off in the night," as some did. they said, "please come to us. let us help you on your way." sawyer: they bought me a plane ticket the next day to fly me where i wanted to go. after i left the group in 1994, i have to be honest that i was elated. when i go to grocery store and have the choice between an orange and a grapefruit was like a pleasure. ronan: there were some people that did leave heaven's gate, but those that did leave often had a spiritual connection that they maintained with the group. simpson: jimmy did physically leave the group in '95. he just told me he felt like a failure because he couldn't do everything they said, but he still was very connected to the group. he was very tied into their beliefs. he seemed to feel that this was a place he belonged, and then after jimmy had been with me for a few weeks, he decided he wanted to find the cult and rejoin. he stole some money from me before he left. it was very hurtful. a couple of weeks later, he called me, and i said, "i'm sorry. i can't help you financially anymore. you took money from me, and i'm still trying to dig out of that hole. so i love you, but i can't help you," and he never spoke to me again. lawrence: applewhite, he needed a sign. lo and behold, he had his answer. that's a spaceship. "it's coming. we need to prepare." so all of a sudden, the clock is ticking. we're about to return from whence we came. d." by march 1997, heaven's gate had dwindled to just 39 members. they'd settled in an enormous mansion in rancho santa fe, california, an elite community just north of san diego. this was a far cry from their early days of roaming around the country and preaching their gospel, and it would be here that their story would take a shocking turn. man: rancho santa fe -- it's dotted with multimillion-dollar estates, many complete with tennis courts and swimming pools. the homes are so secluded you may not even know your neighbors or have a mailbox. they just picked there because, basically, i think it is more secluded, and they wouldn't be bothered as much. man #2: while members supposedly gave up earthly goods, how could the cult afford to rent an exclusive mansion in rancho santa fe? the members of heaven's gate ran their own business. it was a web-design firm. we've had a little business that we call higher source from which we earned our income so we could consume while we're on this planet, and we always were self-supporting. man #3: joining us now from our bureau in los angeles is nick matzorkis. higher source had done some website development and design for interact entertainment group, so we came to know about 14 or 15 of the members over the course of the last eight or nine months. man #3: they did work for you. good work? matzorkis: very good work. they were very reliable and very pleasant to work with. they tried to fit in, but people here in rancho santa fe did notice that like some of us, well, they did look a little different, odd. they were odd. they were the cult next door who were nearing the end of a long and twisted odyssey. they, on several occasions, either indicated to me directly, or i'd heard through other employees that they were planning to leave this planet. ronan: by then, the theory that had been established of how the group would leave the earth and through a ufo, it took a dramatic turn. years earlier, applewhite's partner, bonnie nettles, got ill and then died of cancer, so it really threw a monkey wrench into their entire plans. before she died in 1985, they believed that you were going to be beamed up into the ufo with your body. after she died, you had a problem. her body was here. her spirit was on the ufo, so they changed their view to say that now, you had to leave your vehicle or your earthly containers. what does it mean? their teachings are, they're going to go in their bodies into the next level, and it doesn't happen for ti. so what are they going to do? we don't know if we're going to take these flesh bodies onboard that craft or if we'll leave these flesh bodies behind. so we're entering death into the picture. "we might have to off ourselves to get way up there to the level above human." part of our test of faith is our hating this world, even our flesh body enough, to be willing to leave it without any proof other than what we have come to know -- that we have nothing to fear. ronan: the group had been waiting for 20 years for some sort of a sign that they were going to ascend and have eternal life, and then they finally got it when it was learned the hale-bopp comet was going to be flying by earth close enough where you could actually view it. man #4: as comets go, this one is about as impressive as it gets. zeller: members of heaven's gate were exposed to this idea that there was a ufo trailing hale-bopp comet. man #4: and this sort of fanlike shape that we can see behind it is the dust tail of the comet. there was a little scattering of dust, light dust, behind the comet, and they determined that that was the spaceship. lo and behold -- applewhite, he had his answer. that's the spaceship. "it's coming. we need to prepare." so all of a sudden, the clock is ticking. now, they've got to catch that spaceship. let me say that our mission here at this time is about to come to a close in the next few days, and we're about to return from whence we came. zeller: so in march 1997, they update the website for the last time. they refer to hale-bopp comet as the opportunity which they have been waiting for for 20 years, for them to finally graduate, to culminate their journey. ♪ ♪ zeller: he receives a fedex package. it's timed. diangelo: got the package. it was -- i didn't want to open it at first because i had a suspicion of what it might mean. so i opened the package. they had tapes in there. there was one letter to me saying, basically, that, "by the time you read this, we will have exited our vehicles." so i went to work and talked to nick matzorkis and told him what was up. zeller: nick and rio drive down to see if, in fact, the members of the group had done what rio thinks they've done. they get there. they drive through the gates, up into the hills, to the mansion. i pull up to the foot of the driveway. he went in. i get to the gate, and i ring the buzzer, no answer. i climb over the gate. i go in the back door. the first thing i came upon was a dry-erase board that we typically would write the day's tasks on there, and that board was empty. and that was my first shock. i was yelling to see if anybody was still there, and there weren't any answers. when he came down the driveway, he was white as a sheet, and he came into the car, and i said, "what's the situation? what happened?" i just went, "who does this?" i kept thinking to myself, "who does this?" ronan: rio diangelo was an ex-member of heaven's gate, and he maintained relations with many of the people who were there. the heaven's gate members had sent to rio diangelo this package that he thought was concerning. so he and another friend of his went down to the mansion to investigate. i climb over the gate, and they had listed in the letter which door to go into, and i started to walk through the house. i brought some cologne with me and put it over my shirt and held my shirt over my nose because the odor was really tremendous. when he came down the driveway, he was white as a sheet, and he came into the car, and i said, "what's the situation? what happened?" and he said, "they did it." approximately 3:15 this afternoon, we dispatched a deputy to the residence here, the result of a radio call on check the welfare of the occupants of the residence. ♪ these police officers, they go into this mansion, and they see one after another after another. it was just kind of a surreal situation. ♪ in the end, they had counted 39 bodies in the house. ♪ vine: i'm used to walking into a scene where there's blood and guts all over the place, and this was -- people just went off to sleep. lawrence: this wasn't a horrific crime scene. it wasn't -- there -- you know, it wasn't bloody. it wasn't violent. man: the bodies were found face-up. apparently, they were laying on cots, mattresses, and beds. authorities said that their hands were by their sides, which gave the indication that they were sleeping. it also said that triangular-shaped purple shrouds were covering their chests and their faces. vine: it was kind of startling to look at them. they were dressed in a black attire, nike shoes, black sweat pants and black shirts. lawrence: i just went, "who does this?" i kept thinking to myself, "who does this?" so they were lying in their bunk beds in perfect order with the patches on their uniforms, the patches saying, "heaven's gate away team," "away team" referring to science-fiction, to that idea from "star trek" of members of the crew from outer space who came down to a planet to do something and then went back up. by later that afternoon, the world had descended on that little road. we want to bring you the very latest in the developments out of southern california where there is what appears to be a mass suicide. simpson: on this particular day, i had come in from work. i was half paying attention to the tv, which was on. they were talking about a cult mass suicide. i was kind of watching outside of my eye until they said the cult leaders' nicknames, do and ti, and when they said that, i stopped. it stopped me cold, and chills ran up my arms, and i knew immediately this was the cult that jimmy had been part of. i was wondering if he was one of the ones they were bringing out in the coroner's van. for medical examiner and investigators and coroners, it's really a slam dunk. they were very organized and somewhat compulsive and had passports and driver's licenses and birth certificates in their pockets. so that eliminated one of our major problems. they told us what they took. they told us how they did it. this was a no-brainer. crist: the group had committed suicide by ingesting barbiturates in either pudding or applesauce. zeller: they chase it with vodka, which is ironic because this is a group which, for many members, they probably hadn't had a taste of alcohol for 20 years. they then placed a plastic bag over their head. they all had a rubber band constricted around their neck. vine: the plastic bag was for the effect of asphyxiation, but the medication and vodka made it easier to just lay there with a plastic bag over your head and suffocate. woman: the deaths were described as painless. man #2: the sheriff's department says it believes the deaths in the million-and- a-half-dollar mansion were not simultaneous. the group had killed themselves in three groups. groups would be assigned to assist the others dying. applewhite died in the second shift. vine: each time one of them died, the two people or three people that were assigned to them actually checked off, that, okay, they were gone, cleaned them up, put the purple shroud over them. simpson: the only person i knew who might know where jimmy was was my aunt katie, and i called her and asked her if she'd heard from him. she called me back the next day and said, "i talked to jimmy. he's fine. he has no intention of doing anything crazy." i stopped at a convenience store coming home from shopping, and i saw it on the front of the newspaper, the dead bodies, and then i said, "oh, that's terrible," you know, "39 people dead in a cult." robert: i found out about it on the television. they talked about this tragedy out in san diego. when alice came in, i said, "you better sit down." alice: he said, "applewhite's picture's been on this screen all night, and i think we're in trouble." shell renewable race fuel. reducing emissions by 60%. ♪♪ we're moving forward with indycar. because we're moving forward with everybody. shell. powering progress. with absorbine pro, pain won't hold you back from your passions. it's the only solution with two max-strength anesthetics to deliver the strongest numbing pain relief available. so, do your thing like a pro, pain-free. absorbine pro. business. it's not a nine-to-five proposition. it's all day and into the night. it's all the things that keep this world turning. the go-tos that keep us going. the places we cheer. and check in. they all choose the advanced network solutions and round the clock partnership from comcast business. see why comcast business powers more small businesses than anyone else. get started for $49.99 a month plus ask how to get up to an $800 prepaid card. don't wait- call today. man: it's been wall-to-wall television coverage practically nonstop since the grim discovery of 39 bodies wednesday night. woman: this is an extraordinary moment in american history. it's a difficult case. it's a puzzling and horrible story. ♪ alice: i said, "no. she's not there. that's not her. it might be her cult, but, no, she wouldn't do this. she wouldn't kill herself." what we are dealing with right now is trying to notify the families to let them know of their loved one's death. i laid on the couch there until 4:00 in the morning. i got a call from san diego. they told me, "sorry to tell you, but your daughter was one of them." until you actually got those ashes in your hand and knew that she was in there, it didn't really hit home, and that's when i felt it. then it's like a big hole suddenly got blown in your heart, and the hole's still there, and it'll never heal. all we're hearing today is that a man claimed that there was some sort of tape, a possible farewell tape as you said. inside the package that rio diangelo received and was concerned about were videotapes. on the tape, there were the statements from the members. i'm very proud of these students. they're about to leave, and they're excited about leaving. and this is the happiest day of my life. i mean, i've been looking forward to this for so long. this is a very joyous time for the class to be able to be returning home. and i am very excited about going. i can hardly wait, and i'm ready to go. they gave their last messages to their family, friends, and to the planet. we have no fear. we're proud and looking forward to what's ahead and couldn't be happier about what we're about to do. by dropping these bodies, we will receive the inheritance we have been promised of eternal life and a physical next-level body. the members were aware that what they were doing would be looked upon by others as insane. i'm about to take an act that probably this world would consider the most awful thing that any person could do, i have chosen to do. it's not something that somebody brainwashed me into. and in making the decision that we made to do this, we know that we broke hearts. we know that we hurt people, and we don't take that lightly. we didn't want to hurt anyone. there is some element, though, of sort of this awareness that they're going to be dismissed. i just wish that people out there could understand how much we feel and know this is real. this is not a fantasy. and one last thing we'd like to say is, "39 to beam up." thank you. [ laughter ] it seems to me like they are operating out of an alternate reality that they have been programmed to believe is the real reality. ronan: when the family members saw these videotaped statements, they were completely in shock. this couldn't be the family member that they had loved and raised and knew. well, i just want to let everyone know how lucky and happy i feel to be here. and i said, "oh, my god. that can't be gail. hair's all chopped off." what we're about to do is certainly nothing to think negatively about. we're all choosing of our own free will to go to the next level with ti and do. i guess that's really all i want to say. you really are brainwashed. it's not you talking, gail. it's not you talking. the goodbye video was the last time we saw gail alive. zeller: applewhite explicitly addresses to the camera that the door to heaven's gate remains open for a while yet and that, "if this message speaks to you, you can do as they do and join them to go onto the spaceship." you can follow us, but you cannot stay here and follow us. you would have to follow quickly by also leaving this world. i thought, "you just invited other people to join you," and my immediate concern was for my brother. jimmy did physically leave the group in '95, but he was very connected to the group. he was very tied into their beliefs. hassan: so with destructive cult mind control, just leaving the group doesn't get rid of the cult identity. zeller: there are, depending on how you count, four or five people who were loosely or fully part of the group who ended up committing suicides or exiting the planet in the months that follow. ♪ i had come in from work, and the phone started ringing, and i almost didn't answer it. i had a foreboding feeling, but i did answer it, and my aunt was crying. jimmy had sent her a letter and told her that by the time she got it, he would be dead. "as you know from deborah, i was a member of the group now known as heaven's gate. i'm truly sorry to cause you any pain. thank you for all you've done for me. i'm late. it's past time for me to go. the precious spirits have long since taken flight. as always, jimmy." jimmy's cause of death was listed as a gunshot wound to the head. i think that jimmy believed he was doing the right thing, that he was doing what he was supposed to do. the pain is there every day. it's not always a hard pain, but it's always there. it opened a hole in my heart that's never going to be filled. alice: it's like it happened yesterday. if i could speak to gail one more time, i'd tell her, "come home where you're loved, and your mother and father are here for you. there isn't anything in this world that you could do that would make us stop loving you, and we want you back." that was murder. that was 38 cases of murder and one suicide. i think the lasting legacy of heaven's gate is, i guess, there will always be people who are looking for something, or they're lost souls. they're trying to find an answer, and if there's somebody out there, like an applewhite, trying to provide that answer, they might gravitate towards one of them. we hope that we took advantage of the time that we had incarnate in these human vehicles, and we'll be of better service to the next level because of it. to this day, the deaths of the 39 followers of heaven's gate remains the largest mass suicide on american soil, and although most of the members of the group took their own lives back in march of 1997, there are a handful of surviving members. two of them operate the group's website, unchanged since the '90s, claiming they were left behind to preserve the legacy of heaven's gate. i'm hill harper. thanks for watching. ♪