now she opens up about what changed and the surprising response from so many who empathized. >> find a connection in my story. >> puma abedin joins me ahead. plus kids in crisis. a deadly pandemic piles more grief and stress on our children. new signs that the kids are not all right. surgeon gen value vivek murthy with his new warning, coming up his new warning, coming up.ra vh his new warning, coming up.l vi with his new warning, coming up. hello, i'm dana bash in washington, where the state of our union is enjoying the holidays. merry christmas. as many of you enjoy a little time off and a chance to celebrate with family, we're all thinking about the things that bring us together, but increasingly here in washington, that common ground feels more and more remote. in a week, the anniversary of a violent insurrection, that event instead of marking the end of an era of division and lies seems merely to have been a jumping off point. a majority of republicans now believe the lie that the election was stolen. gop officials who have broken with former president trump over that lie have faced threats of violence and party leaders are protecting their members for almost any behavior other than crossing trump. it's difficult to see how we as a nation move past this, but let's talk to two people who are trying. joining me now done jegsal colleagues and friends, democratic congresswoman debbie dingell and republican congressman fred upton, both of michigan. thank you for coming. merry christmas to both of you. it's really unusual to be able to have a conversation like this, which is really unfortunate, a conversation with a democrat and republican who are friends, as i said. you genuinely work together, but i want to talk about what it's like for you on capitol hill these days. it really feels like a hostile work environment, and that things are reaching a boiling point. >> it's pretty toxic. there's no question about it. i mean, just before we adjourned probably for the christmas break, one of our members had their words taken down, usually you just apologize. you just say you know what? i was wrong and you just sit down and life goes on and no, he couldn't speak the rest of the day. he stood by the words that he had, but you know, metal detectors now going on the house floor, we get nasty threats at home. the tone gets, you know, tougher and tougher, and it's a pretty toxic place. i've never seen anything like this before. >> you mentioned the threats, so i want to talk about that. i don't want to start off on such a negative tone, but since you mentioned it, and then we're going to talk about some of the positive stuff that's going on, because there really is, but congresswoman dingell, you had some pretty nasty voice mails last month. you've had some recently. we're going to play one, but i actually want to warn our viewers that it is a bit disturbing. >> you god damned old senile [ bleep ]. you're as old and ugly as biden. you ought to get the [ bleep ] off the planet, you [ bleep ] foul [ bleep ]. they ought to [ bleep ] try you for treason [ bleep ] you and every one of your scumbug [ bleep ] friends. i hope your family dies in front of you. i pray to god if you got any children, they die in your face. >> i've been getting those for a couple of years. >> terrible. >> a couple of years? >> a couple of years, ever since christmastime the christmas, right after john had died, president trump was in michigan. >> john, your late husband. >> john was my late husband and it -- you know, once you're in that trump hate tunnel, you kind of don't escape it. there are a lot of people that are good, wonderful to meet, et cetera, but we average several of those a week and we're used to it. my friends look at me, it's almost like therapy and say how can you do this? but you have to -- we got to be careful not to normalize it, but i'm not going to not do my job. i'm not going to go out and not be with people. i'm not going to go out and not listen to them. i want the american people to think about what's happening in our country, that this kind of hate, this fear is happening in communities across the country. you know, if you even look at the horrific shooting that killed children in our state, they were living with parents that were reflecting, he was living with parents this had some of that. we need to really worry about our democracy, and find a way that you can disagree with people and do it in a civil and agreeable way, and it really does have me very worried. >> you know, the day before parkland, i was meeting with one of my high schools, until covid, i went to a school literally every week, and i was speaking at a high school with 300 or 400 kids there and they had a live shooter drill, something that never happened when i was in school, and then we had parkland. within a couple days, we all sort of changed our schedules. we focused on school violence. debbie came over to my district and i went to hers as well and we met with law enforcement and pastors and school officials and kids. kids can't learn in an unsafe environment, and you know, that's where we are today. what happened in michigan a couple weeks ago now is often, is now triggered copycats like that. so we've had a number of schools across our state that have been closed all over because of some of the threats. one of them in my district by an 8-year-old. >> so are you connecting the toxic environment on a national, political level to what you're seeing on a local level? >> yes. >> yep. >> the house of representatives is a representative body. it represents the people. now, what i do want to say is that there are a lot of good people that are worried about our country, so i don't want to be all negative here. i have people every day that come up from when i'm in the grocery store, when i'm at the farmer's market, when i'm in schools. fred and i are both known for being out and about when we're home, and they come up and thank me for doing the job or they talk about an issue. we both -- we're fred and debbie. we don't want to be anything but fred and debbie, included for you, dana, and people talk to us, but there is a lot of fear and hatred, and people scared about what's going to happen to themselves, and we need to listen to each other more and we need to, you know, if you look into toquevill in the 1800s and talked about the strength of democracy, it was community. and we have to remind ourselves coming together is a pillar. >> it was a reminder when bob dole passed away. i worked for bob dole. i worked in his office, and it was a whole different climate back then. you know that, and it was a reminder to all of us, how do we get the trains to run on time? how do we maybe disagree on issues but not be disagreeable? you know, he had the best wit, but he got things done. we wonderful relationships with either republicans or democrats, down at the white house or certainly with his colleagues in both the house and the senate. >> you mentioned bob dole, and the funeral really was a reminder, as we unfortunately have seen a fair amount recently when people are great stature who were part of the washington or political climate of yesteryear pass away. i want to ask you, congresswoman dingell, about a moment that we're going to put up. you and republican congresswoman liz cheney, you're putting your head on her shoulder. you actually agree on january 6th, you don't agree on much, but that, talk about that moment. >> bob dole was a friend, and he was a friend of john's. they were world war ii veterans. i can't tell you how many issues they worked on. bob dole recovered in battle creek, michigan. john had known him since the '50s, and i was sad. i mean, i'll tell you a story i haven't told anybody. elizabeth called me -- i may have told you at the time -- >> elizabeth dole? >> bob dole's wife called me right after john had died and been buried and both of our husbands wanted to be buried at arlington and both eeliz both ad i know at arlington, we did not get any special favors. i better say that right now, but by their army service, they were both eligible to be, because they're world war ii veterans, were eligible to be buried in arlington but elizabeth asked me a lot of questions about what to do when bob died. we were people that loved our husband and loved our community and, yeah. i, by the way, have known liz cheney since she was a kid. she went to school with some of john's kids, and it was a time that, you know, i could have very strong disagreements, even with fred over some policy issues, probably more serious policy. >> i always make her laugh at the end. >> you need more laughter in this town. >> we have it. >> something that is certainly not a laughing matter, and something that i know you both feel strongly about is january 6th, and when i say feel strongly about, it's getting the actual facts out there, and at the end of this year, we have learned some really startling information or at least it's remarkable to see the words about some of the hosts on fox news, and the messages that they were sending to mark meadows that reveal that they understand the january 6th was terrible, despite the lies that they continue to tell to their viewers on the air. what does it mean to you as a republican that there's whitewashing happening of january 6th? >> you know, i was there. i was not in the chamber when they were pounding, the woman was shot and killed. i had been passed through the chamber earlier that day. they asked us specifically not to be on the house floor just because of covid restrictions so i was in my office but i have a balcony and i watched people go down the mall and i saw them come back and i heard the noises and obviously was watching what happened, but it was real, and shocking. >> is it shocking to you that so many republicans are being told it wasn't what you saw? >> you remember the conversation that's been recanted a good number of times when kevin mccarthy called the president and said "call the troops off. stop this stuff," and the response was along the lines "i guess they care more about the election than you do, kevin." that is -- it was a scary day, and that's why i voted to have an independent commission. we passed it in the house. good number of republicans supported it. didn't happen in the senate. >> so let's end on a positive note. we do have the both of you here. you genuinely do as you mentioned worked together on a number of issues. what can people look to, beyond the vitriol, to see their government actually working? is there some bright light or maybe dim light that you can show that exists? >> well, i mean, i think it has to be a bright light. fred and i are best friends and probably talk five or six times a day about everything, and i mean everything. i have a lot of other friends on the other side of the aisle. the last night night of the session fred came and sat on the democratic side for an hour. i'm frequently on the republican side. last night, when people were leaving, a hugged a lot of republicans and wished them a merry christmas. i have a lot of other friends on the other side and what we need to do is to all of us get back to just remembering how much we have in common, just respecting each other, treating each other with dignity, and i say to everybody, a little act of kindness towards anybody can make the difference in that person's day, week or life. >> as we look towards '22 coming, it's going to be a tough year. we see it in michigan, we're the number one hot spot in terms of covid. what can we do working together to try and help our hospitals, our heroes, our workers, families to make sure they don't get this. i just had a neighbor die of covid another week or so ago. >> i'm so sorry. >> if we don't work together, we're not going to get this thing solved, and for me, i mean, the pfizer vaccine's actually produced, manufacturered, sent out from my district. from azuma michigan. it's exactly a year now. even though we crossed the threshold of 800,000 americans dead. think of how many hundreds of thousands would have perished without the vaccine that frankly we got through our committee when i was chairman. >> amen to that. congressman fred upton, congresswoman debbie dingell. thank you. merry christmas. thank you for this image, this discussion to show there is bipartisan discussion and relationships, even in this tumultuous time. appreciate it. >> to a peaceful 2022 of bringing more people together. >> and not to make my georgia friends unhappy, go blue. >> go blue. we're together. more than 800,000 u.s. lives lost to covid, so how many millions of people does that mean are grieving, and how can you help? the surgeon general joins me next. plus the advice hillary clinton did and did not give to h huma abedin when she was facing public betrayal. [music throughout] this year has been extremely challenging for me. i am broken. and i am healing. i'm here at the memorial wall. i wanted to do something to remember my mom. for some reason, i'm having anxiety. obviously it's normal with everything that's going on right now. i think i'm going to take a break for a while. you can get through it. and if you can get through it, there's a greater reward on the other side. just like anybody else, you know, i'm just trying to do my little part to try and save my community. ta-da! i'm just really excited we're back open. and i am smiling under my mask! incredible scenes on the day the fans came back. welcome back to the theater! you guys, it's been so long! you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and you're just like, “there. i. am.” be your best. never, ever, ever stop dreaming. i don't care what they tell you. ...we the jury in the above entitled manner as to count three find the defendant guilty. i am proud to be asian. we are not drowning, we are fighting. we cannot keep quiet about climate injustice. no action is too small. we just have to band together as a community, and get people's lives back. my son. that even as we grieved, we grew. that even as we hurt, we hoped. that even as we tired, we tried. that we'll forever be tied together, victorious. it's the most joyous time of year. especially at t-mobile! let's go to dianne. i got the awesome new iphone 13 pro and airpods, and t-mobile is paying for them both! and this is for new and existing customers. upgrade to the iphone 13 pro and airpods both on us. only at t-mobile. welcome back to "state of the union." this is our last show of 2021, and it has been another really difficult year. more than 800,000 u.s. lives lost during the covid-19 pandemic and the unthinkable tragedy is having a devastating effect on our children who are struggling with stress from loss and social isolation and school violence. joining me now new warn being our kids is surgeon general vivek murthy. let me start first of all with your advisory, dr. murthy. you lay out some really alarming trends. one in five people report experiencing symptoms of depression, one in four suffer from anxiety. is the mental health toll of the pandemic an epidemic in its own right? >> well, dana, i'm so concerned with our children because there is an epidemic, if you will, of mental health challenges that they've been facing and partly because of the mandemic. children have lost loved ones, 140,000 kids lost a caregiver. their lives are turned upside down, haven't been able to see friends as often as they would. it's taken a toll. that's why we've seen anxiety and depression rates go up among kids. our kids were struggling long before the pandemic. the decade before the pandemic we saw a 40% increase in the number of high school students who felt persistent feelings of hopelessness or sadness, more increases in suicide rates among kids to aremember lag levels so our children have been struggling for a while and the reason i issued this advisory is because we have i believe a moral obligation to take action to support our kids, because they could be doing much better than they are and every child deserves a shot at good health. >> gosh, that is so true. but when you're talking about even young children, this is an issue. you have two young children. i have a young son. i witnessed this firsthand. i'm sure you have, too. what is the long-term impact of all of this on our children? >> well, dana, that story is something written and someone we can shape by the actions that we take today. i think about this not just as surgeon general or a doctor but as a dad. i have two small kids, they're 5 and 3 and i've seen the impact of the pandemic on them and parents across the country have as well. in the days since our advisory was issued on youth mental health, i've heard from so many people around the country who have said i've been worried about my child. i've seen them struggling. what do i do? the reason we issued this advisory is because there are steps we can take. we laid out concrete recommendations for 11 sectors, includes individuals and families, government, technology companies, schools, health care workers, because we all have a role to play in improving the mental health of our children. >> and when the parents in particular contact you, and say what do i do, what is your advice? if you're a parent watching at home and you say hmm, i recognize what they're talking about in my kids, what is their action plan, or what should it be? >> here's what parents can really make a difference with. number one -- there is a terrible stigma around mental health that surrounds our children and older adults as well. many kids feel ashamed of their struggles and not sure if it's okay to ask for them. one of the most powerful things parents can do is to start a conversation with their children about mental health. let them know it's okay if you struggle. a lot of kids also feel they're alone. starting that conversation is important so your kids know that it's okay for them to come to you for help. it's also important for parents to encourage kids to seek out help, even if it's not from them, from a school counselor or teacher. many kids are struggling but don't know if it's okay to ask for help and finally keep in mind that our relationships in our lives, for kids and adults are one of our most powerful buffers for stress, one of our most important supports for mental health and encouraging our children to invest in relationships with family members w friends is such an important part of ensuring their mental health and well-being. >> so we are almost two years into this pandemic. a lot of americans beyond children are feeling increasingly pessimistic, vaccine resistance remains high, more than 1,000 people are dying every day. what do you say to americans who fear that the pandemic is just never going to end and that this is the new normal? >> certainly i can understand that fatigue and the frustration that many people have about where we are in the pandemic right now. it has been almost two years. we've lost so many people and our lives have been changed fundamentally, but those struggles shouldn't obscure one critical thing, which is that we have made tremendous progress in these last two years as well. studies recently done, in fact, we have saved more than 1 million lives because of vaccination efforts this past year alone. i know it may not always feel like progress is enough but we've also gotten tools and developed tools to learn to live our lives to gather with family and friends and those include not just the vaccines and the boosters, but testing, using masks judiciously, and using better ventilation and gathering better ventilated spaces. what i would say to folks out there, i know it's tough right now. i know there's a prospect of another wave with omicron coming, but we now know more about how to stay safe than we've ever known. if you're vaccinated and boosted, your risk of having a bad outcome with covid-19 is much, much lower and we will get to the end of this pandemic. we've gone through twists and turns but we will get there and we will get there together. >> it is nice to hear you end that on a hopeful note. it is important for all of us to end this year on a hopeful note, even though it's sometimes pretty hard. i appreciate you coming on especially talking about the challenges that our children are having with mental health, because this pandemic. i hope you have a happy new year to. >> thanks, and i hope you do as well, dana, and i hope everyone out there who is listening just take some time over the holidays to reconnect with people you love. this is a time to double down on the connections with others, our relationships with each other, our source of healing and we need that right now. >> well said. dr. murthy, thank you so much. >> thank you, dana. you remember her story and probably said to yourself, what is she thinking? next we're going to talk to huma abedin about that and the most surprising response to her book, next. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪ with directv stream i can get live tv and on demand anywhere. look, serena williams... matrix... serena... matrix... serena... matrix... ♪ ♪ ♪ get your tv together with the best of live and on demand. introducing directv stream. ♪ [laughing and giggling] (woman) hey dad. miss us? (vo) reflect on the past, celebrate the future. season's greetings from audi. welcome back to "state of the union." my next guest has been one of its most recognizable people in democratic politics for decades but also one of its most private. huma abedin, long time aide to hillary clinton and former wife to the infamous former congressman anthony weiner. now she's telling her own story and while there's been a lot of focus on her role in the clinton campaign, and the scandal that marred its final days, today we're going to zero in on something a little different, something abedin says prompted a lot of people to come up to her and confide their experiences, and that is her story of betrayal, of being a new mother, and seeking a divorce, and how she is picking up the pieces. joining me now is huma abedin, author of a new book "both and: a life in many worlds." thank you for joining me. >> thanks for having me, dana. >> i appreciate it. let's start there. this is a really raw book. you kind of put it all out there, and it's done in a way that people who have known you, and i've only known you from afar for this reason, because you've always been so private, and specifically what was surprising to me was how open you are about what happened when you found out that your then husband anthony weiner was sending inappropriate photos of himself. why did you want to let people into your marriage like this? >> so, dana, first of all, i'm thrilled to be talking to you about this and it is one of the things, as you said in our introduction that a lot of people do come up and talk to me about, strangers on the street, friends, people i've lost touch with for many years, people from my childhood would reach out and find a connection in my story, something about my relationship and my marriage that they can either relate, to they've heard of, they know somebody in their family who has gone through a similar kind of betrayal, but you know, the one thing i haven't had an opportunity to talk very much about while i've been on this book tour, which i've enjoyed very much is that i was private. i liked being private. actually, the first time i was recognized as an individual on my own was the moment that the first story broke. i was newly pregnant, and i share the story of getting on an airplane to meet anthony, who had gone to texas for therapy. i was a staff person for hillary clinton, who was secretary of state, and being in a bathroom, and here i am, still reeling from the shock of this news, and a woman leaned over and touches my arm in a public bathroom, and said, "hang in there. i know what you're going through" and it was the first moment that a stranger made that personal connection, and that was the first of i would say are hundreds of experiences i've had since then. people, i'm at restaurants in new york -- precovid -- and people come up to me and say, could i get five minutes of your time? we go into a corner and they share their story and often the questions are very similar, which is, you know, when do you know and when does it stop hurting or what do i do? and so if i can make, you know, one piece of service in writing my story, it's one of the reasons i chose to write in detail what it was like. >> so i want to ask you a lot more about that, because i find that fascinating that there is an unfortunate sisterhood and maybe it's not even just women. maybe there are men who come up to you as well, but let's just for people who are not super familiar with the stories, maybe as much as others, i remember this in maybe a different way than other people, because i was a capitol hill reporter at the time. it was 2011. i was 8 months pregnant, and i contacted his office, it was that memorial day weekend 2011 when they said that he was hacked and just something felt fishy, smelled fishy to me. that's how i felt as a reporter. i felt something was off. how did it feel as a wife? >> well, i was in shock -- well, when he called me, he texted me -- i write in the book, i get a text in the middle of the night, right after i had returned from a trip with the secretary of state. we were staying at buckingham palace, it was an official trip with president obama. we then went on to pakistan if i remember correctly. it was an important trip i was in the middle of, and i arrived back home. i was living in washington at the time, and i crawl into bed. i'm exhausted, i'm newly pregnant, nobody knew. i was living this dream life. i was living in this blissful marriage. i thought i was married to the perfect man and getting a text from anthony in the middle of the night saying that his account had been hacked but not to worry that, he was handling it and dana, honestly, i didn't worry, and in part because i had so many other things going on at the office i was worried about. i was carrying this little secret, my pregnancy, and anthony was in our relationship always the fixer. he was the doer, the problem-solver. i share stories if i left the apartment a mess, i would come home to a clean apartment, groceries in the fridge, are dried clothes. the word "hack" was a little puzzling, because i didn't really back then, talking about 2011, being hacked was a scary thing, but that was it. >> you mentioned, you were neglect newly pregnant. how did you reconcile what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life with the fact that, after he said he was hacked, he eventually did come to you and say, it's true. >> well, it took him a few days to come around, telling the truth, and we went away for the weekend, and he -- i noticed him being not himself over that weekend, and the morning we were to leave to return to new york, he is standing at the front door with his bags right in the doorway, in and out and he told me the truth, that it was him, that he had sent the image, and in that moment, i just felt a bolt of lightning just from the top of my head, i felt the lightning was the only thing. i remember everything about the room in that moment, the sofa, the staircase, and i walked outside. my immediate reaction was, you have constituents. you are responsible to people. you have to tell everybody the truth. immediately it became not about me. it became about the child i was caring and his constituents and coming clean. he immediately called his team and i went out to the back terrace and all i could think was what is happening to my life? i was in such shock, dana, and such -- you know, and anger, too. these were supposed to be these blissful days enjoying being, you know, parents, about to bring a child into the world. >> so many people i think can relate to that moment, i mean, when your world falls apart and it's like a freeze frame of where you are at that moment. two years later, anthony decides to run for mayor in 2013, and during that campaign, things were going pretty well for him and then another revelation, another inappropriate sexting i guess you call it with a woman was out there. that time, you went out and did a press conference with him. it was the first time a lot of people even heard your voice and you were getting phone calls in the car from people like hillary clinton, and you let them go to voice mail. you didn't answer them. why? >> i, in that moment, thought every decision i tried to make in my marriage, i have tried to do what i thought was the right decision in that moment, and in that moment, i felt that i owed the public an explanation for why i had stood with him when he decided to run for mayor, and you know, there's such a -- i've said this before, 2021 sort of hindsight is 2020 about all the things we shoulda, woulda, coulda done at the time. i don't understand the behavior. i share in the story the very first session we went away to, that even anthony didn't understand the behavior. said what is it? how do i, what is the explanation? how do i prevent myself from ever doing it again. we're in this two years of muddling through, going to therapy, and i certainly didn't understand that it was behavior one could not control. i encouraged him to run for mayor and in part because he had been a good congressman. he was reelected time and time again, even when he resigned, his constituents didn't want him to resign and i wanted him to have a focused profession, a profession he was good at. >> you thought it was fixable. >> i 100% thought it was fixable when i encouraged him to run. the story breaks, again, our world is falling apart, but i didn't think it was right for him to go out on his own because i had encouraged him to run. >> i'm sure you've heard this and i've heard, this i can't even count how many times, people are speculating at that time why you stayed, and one of the questions is, is it because your model was hillary clinton, who was famously betrayed by her husband and stayed? >> i don't think it occurred to me for even a second. the first time it happened, i was so -- it's why i opened the chapter, waking up at buckingham palace writing a letter to anthony saying how is it possible for two people to be this blessed? we have to be thankful to god. that's how amazing the moments were. i was madly in love with him. he was my first love, the first man i was ever with, so start there. that is why i stayed the first time and a lot of it was motivated by the fact that i was carrying his child and i did not have a choice when my father was taken from me so i was going to do everything i could to have my son grow up in a household with two parents. i really tried. i tried to make that marriage work. by the way, dana, i believe he did, too. we both tried to figure out how to be in this relationship together and how to, you know, be healthy mentally and otherwise, and it just didn't, you know, it was so much more complicated than either of us realized. i think comparing other situations is just neither here nor there for me, so no. it did not occur to me. >> complicated is the perfect word, and again, so many people, including myself, can relate to that and we're going to take a quick break, because we have a lot more to talk about, including the moment that huma says was a breaking point. we'll be right back. keep on shopping. ignore us. i've lost, like, 28 pounds. you look great! wow. i love that my clothes fit better. but i just love ice cream a little bit more than that. the new ww personalpoints program is particular to you. so what kind of foods do you like? avocado. ice cream. sandwiches. no food is off limits. when can i start? join today for 50% off at ww.com. hurry, offer ends december 27th. ♪3, 4♪ ♪ ♪hey♪ ♪ ♪are you ready for me♪ ♪are you ready♪ ♪are you ready♪ when it comes to autism, finding the right words can be tough. finding understanding doesn't have to be. we can create a kinder, more inclusive world for the millions of people on the autism spectrum. go to autismspeaks.org. ray loves vacations. but his diabetes never seemed to take one. everything felt like a 'no'. everything. but then ray went from no to know. with freestyle libre 2, now he knows his glucose levels when he needs to. and... when he wants to. so ray... can be ray. take the mystery out of your glucose levels, and lower your a1c. now you know. try it for free. visit freestylelibre.us welcome back to "state of the union," back with huma abedin. the decision of when to leave someone, when to stay, you say that people have come up to you a lot and i want to get you to what you say to them. in the narrative of your story, it happened because of the "new york post" putting out a photo of anthony sending an inappropriate text with the photo of your son, of your young son in it, and you said everybody has a limit. i finally reached mine, ages after everyone else had gotten there." >> i do think for me every time i made a decision as it was related to my marriage, i was judged. >> you were judged big time. >> i was judged big time and the point you made about strangers or friends coming up to me saying they've been in similar situations, they'll say the same thing. i just had to go through all of this on the front page of the newspaper but certainly many women and men, because i don't think it's only women and yes, both men and women have come up to me, but it is primarily women and this notion that they are judged for staying, judged for leaving, judged for what their decisions are and muddling their way through it. for me, the one thing i always say to people is, don't -- you know, i was very good at compartmentalizing. it's one of the things i learned about myself, but also allow yourself to feel. i mean, i just became this sort of closed, you know, angry, bitter person for a really long time so when that had happened, you know -- >> that was your breakingo poin >> it was my breaking point, in part because of the first few years of anthony and i living this together, i felt as though we were in a bit of a bunker. there's the outside world. i wasn't sure who i could trust or who i could talk to. i would read about things i supposedly told friends in confidence, so it gave you a sense of, you know, insecurity about who in the outside world you could trust and so we really were kind of in this together. we were both shunned from certain society events. we were both asked to not show up at charity, you know, food bank and so it increasingly led us to be in this isolation together initially, but yeah, i did finally reach my breaking point, because that was the point where i, for so long, deyna, i was saying i don't understand. i don't understand. why can't you just knock it off, and this was my final straw. >> one of the many remarkable things that i didn't know that you talk about in the book is after that photo was published, child services got involved, and you were the subject of a child services investigation, both of you. i can't even imagine what that was like. you were questioned about whether you were a fit parent for leaving him, your son with your husband. >> i was, and it was one of the hardest things i had to endure, and as i share in the book, i mean, the defiance that sort of i found that lived within me, this notion that i recall the conversation i was asked, you know, do you think you would have had a better assessment of the conditions, if you were a more present parent, and i was one of those working mothers that constantly felt torn between leaving for a campaign trip and taking care of my child, and i think a lot of working mothers can relate to what that feels like. it was one of the hardest things that i had to endure in the closing days of the campaign and i just share a story of sitting by the front door, not, you know, wanting to answer it, because i was scared of what was on the other side. angry about what was potentially on the other side. >> let's talk about the other side now, meaning where you are now. you and anthony are co-parenting your son? >> we are. >> is that a fair thing to say? >> it's a fair thing to say and i think that so much of the decisions that i make -- if i didn't have a child, i'm not sure i would have made some of the decisions i made in years past. >> like what? you wouldn't have stayed with him as long as you did? >> i don't know. dana, it's sort of i could do a woulda, coulda shoulda, i don't know. but for me in large part, i know he's going to be in my life together because we share a child together so i have to figure out how to navigate that relationship for the sake of my child. we have figured that out. >> there's a lot of hurt. i'm somebody who is divorced with a child. i can say that and we have that in common, and as a mom, you just have to put a lot of stuff, to eat a lot of stuff in order to do what's right for your child? >> in part, because you want to model this for your children, and for me, it is all about -- i mean, i tell my son i love him so many times a day. i hug him, i want him to feel, know that he is loved. that he is cherished. that he is supported. i do believe a lot of the behavior we don't understand in adults, both men and women, so much of it goes back to the experiences they had as children, and so for me, my single most important job is parenting this little boy. >> how does he handle this stuff? >> i don't think he's aware yet. you know, he's generally aware that his parents are in the public a little bit, but he thankfully hasn't had to endure anything overtly negative yet. when anthony was sent away, he was teased a little bit about that but he's really handled it well. we do know that, we've shared things with him and we will continue to do that, as you know, he ages in an appropriate way. we believe we should always be sources of truth for him. >> if only we can protect our children from everything. >> it's certainly not the age of having computers in your pocket. >> i will share -- this is what happened when i read a book, when i'm preparing. but this is really a remarkable book and i learned so much about not only your history, your personal history, your family history, which is fascinating, but, you know, when you're a reporter covering something to really hear what was going on, on the other side is fascinating and obviously very painful. thank you for sharing it. thank you for being here. >> i really enjoyed the conversation. thank you, dana. nicorette knows, quitting smoking is freaking hard. you get advice like: try hypnosis... or... quit cold turkey. kidding me?! instead, start small. with nicorette. which can lead to something big. start stopping with nicorette at "state of the union," we want to wish you all a merry christmas and happy holidays and hope you have a safe and healthy new year. fingers crossed, for a little bit easier time in 2022. thank you so much for watching. we look forward to seeing you in the new year. the news continues next. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪ ♪ ♪ (man) still asleep. (woman vo) so, where to next? (vo) reflect on the past, celebrate the future. season's greetings from audi. this is gps, the global public square. welcome to all of you in the united states and around the world. i'm fareed zakaria. today on the program -- >> i believe we're at an inflection point in this country. >> making sense of this moment in history. inflation, volatile gas prices, a global crisis that has plagued the world for almost two years. >> if you want to build america up and not burn her to the ground, then welcome my fellow patriots. >> then add in america's cabinet's political divide. >> issuing a ptu

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