Be authentic and authentically weird. Weve got a lot to do tonight. A whole big world of fix. Lets leave there it. No, dont leave it there why would you leave there it . There is a terrible place to leave it. Harvard didnt have a facebook. Now were at 1,000 people. The government is now on threat level orange. We must find terror wherever it hides. This is a time when the country is grappling with a post9 11 world. Thank you very much. Welcome to the Tonight Show. I think at this Point Jay likened himself to the troops cheerleader. Were going Help Everyone out there, try to for the next hour take our mind off things. Here is a strange thing in the Wall Street Journal today. Toys r us has announced they might sell their toy division. So we was toys, is that their new name . We started out by doing jokes that were completely nonpolitical, nonseptember 11th. And then you started to be able the make jokes about the tangential things. There was the taliban. Things are not looking good for the taliban. Today one of their top commanders took a head count. Only half of his guys had one. And then the idea of Osama Bin laden himself when we found out he had 55 brothers and sisters, and he was 27th. Its always the middle child that causes the problems. Leno has the fun, easy going vibe. And he is just like the every Man Type of comedian. Jay talks like most people talk, you know. And i think they completely related to that. How many commandments are there . Ten. Can you name any of them . Freedom of speech. Freedom of speech. Jay was man of the people. He wasnt playing to the television critics. He wasnt playing to the comedy critics. His humor was for america. Around this time, Jaylen Mow is doing great, basically cruising in first place. Letterman on cbs is in second place. Craig ferguson takes over what is now called the late late show which is the show that followed David Letterman. You have conan. Conan is really hot at the 12 30 hour on nbc. And you have Jimmy Kimmel. He has entered the arena as an abc alternative. He is on at midnight. Jon stewart presents a real challenge because he is now grabbing viewers. Its not a big audience, but its really young. So nbc looks at that and says the guy we think can counter Jon Stewart in an ongoing way is conan. From Nbc Studios in new york, its late night with Conan Obrien. Conan was The Voice of a new generation. Everyone that i knew in High School and then in college, we only cared about conan. Thats a Conan Obrien mask. Do you like it . No. Viewers expect danger, and im giving it to them. I loved all of those bits like the masturbating bear and triumph. Its an 8 puppet. For some reason it speaks like a russian woman. Have you ever talked to a woman without having to give your Credit Card Number . Its one of the most successful things weve ever done. You know, before conan, i did get the shot on the Tonight Show. And i kid and got it be really excited. And i go over to the couch. And johnny said did you do this . Bad dog. You ruined the couch. I was devastated, but then i heard the same thing happened to buddy hackett. Someone said to me hey, conan, describe your comedic philosophy, i would say its a ven diagram. Its two circles. One is smart. One is silly. You push them partway together, and its that intersection. Conan obriens success caused him to start getting feelers from other networks. Hes still at 12 30. Thats considered aaa ball. Its time for him to move up to the majors. The first approach we had was from fox. And they made a pretty heavy pitch at that time. What i remembered is that the booklets were leather. I dont know why i was so impressed. They went to the trouble to kill cows to bring me to fox. Were trying to figure out what to do. And were looking at our options. And then nbc came to us, figuring theyre going to lose him at some point and that jay is not going to go forever. The only way to really keep both of these guys at nbc was that we were eventually going to have to Promise Conan that he would take over the Tonight Show. But we didnt want that to happen any time soon because we knew jay was on top of the world. The suggestion was that we offer Jay Leno an extension of his Tonight Show contract for five years and that Conan Obrien would be made the host of the Tonight Show. This was the ultimate prize. And i think conans feeling was if i can get the Tonight Show and keep doing late Night Show, why not . Growing up was the show i watched with my dad. And it was the whole tradition. Steve allen, parr, and of course Johnny Carson. This is the chance to be part of that lineage now, and im going try to live up to this. I asked jay what does he think about all this. And they came to me and said we dont want to lose Conan Obrien. Okay, what does that mean . I laid out this fiveyear plan to him. I think he understood what we were trying to get at. And there was nobody in my time at nbc who was ever more of a Team Player than jaylen leno. You know, this show is like a dynasty. You hold it and hand it off to the next person. I dont want to see the fighting and the Back And Forth in the press. So here it is right now. Conan, its yours. See you in five years. Jay congratulated me and it all felt friendly and goodnatured. We kept them both at nbc. We kept them off of the competition and ensured Nbcs Dominance in late night for yet another five years. By that time we know that jay would have had an incredibly long run, and i think everybody thought it was a brilliant master stroke. The first ingredient in this Clif Bar is brown rice syrup, which is another name for sugar. In this kind bar, its hearthealthy almonds. With the taste of Dark Chocolate and 75 less sugar than the leading Clif Bar. Be kind to yourself. If youre 55 and up, T Mobile has plans built just for you. Switch today and get 2 lines of unlimited and 2 free smartphones. Plus youll now get netflix on us. All this for up to 50 off vs. Verizon. Its all included. 2 lines of unlimited for only 70 bucks. And this rate is fixed. Youll pay exactly 70 bucks total. This month and every month. Only at tmobile. Lo que paso fueron las consecuencias de una rumba loca Y Fue Tan Loca Que Nos merecemos otra otra aventura en Tu Cuerpo Mas Otra Vez maybe i didnt love you quite as often as i could have were delivering for the earth. By investing in more electric vehicles, reusable packaging, and carbon capture research. Making earth our priority. I thought id seen it all. never seen anything like it. Garnier brightening serum cream. I thought id seen it all. Im obsessed with vitamin c. One product and it does it all. Yay, Spf Garnier brightening serum cream. Already more than 1000 5 star reviews. By garnier, naturally. The world is still waiting for iraq to comply with its obligation. To reveal and destroy all its Weapons Of Mass Destruction. When George Bush first went into iraq, the country was mostly united around that. But then the Weapons Of Mass Destruction are where are they . An awful lot of people started to question it. Not unlike the vietnam era. And it gave late Night Comedy License to really sort of go for the jugular. Really havent heard too much about the situation in iraq. Whats been going on over there . It wasnt until, really, george w. Bush and the post9 11 period that The Daily Show became The Daily Show as we understand it. You deserve daily Corruption And Torture chamber, yes you do, yes you do. By tackling what is really going on in government, what were being told, what we arent being told. Weve begun the search for hidden chemical and biological weapons and already know of hundreds of sites that will be investigated. Want to know how that turns out . There was a failure of journalism to really properly question the impetus for going into iraq. And John Stewart was the one to puncture that. People started to say, this guy is giving us news were not getting somewhere else. People realized, oh, wait, this is not just silly little Making Fun of things. Hes a real critic. John stewart became The Voice of sanity and The Voice of reason. The Daly Show put him in the role of the straight man. So the funny people were always the field correspondents. Rob cordray has more on the rnc protest today. Rob, what have you got for us . John, im worried about the arrests and protesters. Not all of them are anarchists. At one point i think in about 2003, 2004, we had four correspondents, they were Stephen Colbert, rob cordray, Ed Helms and samantha date. The Bush Administration has Tort Reform one of its main goals. If they have their way, frivolous lawsuits will be a thing of the past. It was a Murderers Row of hilarious, brilliant performers. I was just wondering where you get the balls. And john was very key on having them all develop different onair personalities. Or shall we instead embrace the democrats vision of a nambypamby socialist republic with an allhomosexual army . Out of that Comedy Central and John Stewart see here is an incredible gift. I was like what took you so long . Open wide, baby bird, because mamas got a big Fat Night Crawler of truth. Comedy central allowed stephen to rethink and reimagine what a late Night Talk Show could be. Welcome to the very first Colbert Report. Weve got a lot to do tonight, a whole big world to fix. I colbert was obviously playing a character inspired in part by bill oreilly. Its incredible how much of a Grasp Stephen had of the format, the character, the Point Of View. Youre not the elites. Youre not the Country Club crowd. I know for a fact that my Country Club would never let you in. The Daly Show attempted to expose hypocrisy. Stephen colbert on the Colbert Report was hypocrisy. Like any good newsman, i believe that if youre not scared, im not doing my job. The fact that colbert was able to choose the ironic opposite position of what you should really feel about the topic and then use comedy to then convey that to you is really, really, really difficult. And that brings us to tonights word. Truthiness. The first show he did that very famous word on truthiness. We are divided between those who think with their head and those who know with their heart. It wasnt something that he had worked on forever. Written in a couple of hours that day. And what about iraq . If you think about it, maybe there are a few missing pieces to the rationale for war. But doesnt taking saddam out feel like the right thing . If i had to pick a moment when late Night Comedy became a little more of what i call Resistance Comedy where youre like, okay, youre going to know where i stand on these issues, was at the white house Correspondents Dinner when Stephen Colbert confronted george w. Bush. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. That moment allows him to stand on stage five feet away from President Bush and really change satire history. Now i know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32 approval rating. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in reality. And reality has a wellknown liberal bias. We started with nervous laughter, and it ended with crickets. You would never see Johnny Carson do that in front of the president of the united states. He didnt get good reviews for that. What happened and this is the burgeoning power of the internet was a clip of that went up online. And that started to get a lot of people who agreed with the political side of what colbert was saying and the comedic guts to do that in front of a president , like, oh, you can do this in political comedy and be rewarded for it . The light. It comes from within. It drives you. And it guides you. To shine your brightest. As you charge ahead. Illuminating the way forward. A light maker. Recognizing that the impact you make comes from the energy you create. Introducing the allelectric lyriq. Lighting the way. The first ingredient in this Clif Bar is brown rice syrup, which is another name for sugar. In this kind bar, its hearthealthy almonds. With the taste of Dark Chocolate and 75 less sugar than the leading Clif Bar. Be kind to yourself. [ footsteps] [ Suspenseful Music ] hey, you wanna get out of here . Ah ha. Weve got you. During expedia travel week, save 20 or more on thousands of hotels. Just book between June 8th and 12th to plan your escape with expedia. Never seen anything like it. Expedia. It matters who you travel with. Garnier brightening serum cream. Im obsessed with vitamin c. One product and it does it all. Yay, Spf Garnier brightening serum cream. Already more than 1000 5 star reviews. By garnier, naturally. Jimmy kimmel has a different trajectory than most late night hosts. Kimmel had the challenge of trying to find his way into a Late Night Hosting Position having come from Shock Jock Radio background and the man show. Its always hard to bridge that divide between who you are and who people think you are. If your idea of Who I Am was the guy from the man show, you know, thats a cartoon. At abc he was going to have to reach a far broader audience. And there would have been many times they could have folded the tent on jimmy. But abc left him On The Air and allowed him to find his voice, allowed him to grow into that position. It took a long time, and it was hard to get really great bookings in the first years. You just cant do a Talk Show without anyone to talk to. I would have to spend every afternoon calling around to try to get a guest for that night. It was funny because we werent getting necessarily the greatest guests, so jimmy came up with this throw away joke. Apologies to Matt Damon. We ran out of time. Apologies to Matt Damon. We ran out of time. Matt damon, apologies. We ran out of time. It just made the people on the show laugh. It was an inside joke. Then we heard from Matt Damons people and said, keep doing that. We think its funny. And then for my 40th birthday, my exgirlfriend, sarah silverman, with my Cousin Sal and one of our writers barbieri, they came up with this idea. Hey, jimmy, its me. It is kind of funny that probably the single most successful Thing Weve ever done on our show had absolutely nothing to do with ive been thinking about you a lot. And ive been needing to tell you something. Im [ bleep ] Matt Damon shes [ bleep ] Matt Damon im [ bleep ] Matt Damon on the bed, on the floor on a tower by the door, in the tub that changed everything. Im [ bleep ] Matt Damon that Matt Damon video was the first late night viral video. And we followed it with the im fing Ben Affleck video. Im fing Ben Affleck. Five years in, we became a she that people had heard of. Is someone here [ bleep ] Ben Affleck . I am. Celebrities suddenly wanted to be on the show. And that was a Turning Point in a way for the show. People suddenly saw it had a kind of outlook that was fresh and funny. The dow tumbled more than 500 points. And if you want specific policy, you can ask me. You can play stump the candidate if you want to. The president of the united states is barack obama. As the years went on, i would have conversations with Jay Leno about the fiveyear plan for Conan Obrien to take over the Tonight Show. And i would sense he was hurt by the decision. You ever sleep in the hospital . I spent 24 hours. I had a horrible drome. I couldnt believe. I felt like i was suffocating. Then i woke up and realized, oh, conan was holding a pillow over my face. Hey, hey five years goes by pretty quickly. And we got that moment, and we said oh shit, because the fact is jay was still doing incredibly well. So after like 17 years, they still have the Number One guy. Jay had the Point Of View that i shouldnt leave until i start to decline. I felt an obligation to the fact that i gave my word to conan about the Tonight Show, so now were faced with a dilemma of we have two guys who want the Tonight Show and jay is still on top of the world. What do we do . We were hearing that abc was offering Jay Leno the 11 spot. Have you thought about the abc thing, about whether you want to come over here and more importantly, what will become of me . I thought, well, you know what . I would rather follow an hour of Tonight Show than half hour of nightline. And five years or whatever when jay was done, i would move into the 11 30 slot. I said nbc, would you release me from my contract . They said no, we want to keep you here. Okay. What are your ideas . Nbc wasnt doing well in Prime Time. So, we had an idea to strip a Variety Show across our 10 00 hour. They tell us were going to give Jay A Prime Time show at nbc. And i think One Of Us asked, which night . And they said, every night. Every night . Monday through friday . At 10 00 . Yes. Wait, what . And we all just looked at each other like, this makes no sense. Basically what youre doing is offering someone a 2 Liter Bottle of pepsi just before you offer them a 2 Liter Bottle of coke. And in this analogy, im the coke because thats the better drink. When the nbc said to jay, you know what . Conans going to take over your job in five years, thats when you say, okay, fine, no hard feelings. You call abc, you call fox. You try to get my job. You leave. 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No wrecking or ravaging with new after care conditioner. Next level blonde for the next level you. New feria hyper platinum. From loreal paris. When youre born and raised in San Francisco, you grow up wanting to make a difference. New feria hyper platinum. Thats why, at recology, were proud to be 100 employee owned with local workers as diverse as San Francisco. We built the citys Recycling System from the ground up, helping to make San Francisco the greenest Big City In America but we couldnt do it without you. Thank you, San Francisco. Gracias, San Francisco. Thank you. [ speaks native language ] lets keep Making A Differene together. I had a little story that i would like to tell you and the home viewers as well. Do you feel like a story . 2009, letterman still making money, getting all the best criticism. But hes always in second place. At that point he came On The Air and totally Out Of The Blue starts discussing this blackmail plot. Theres a letter in the package, and its it says that, i know that you do some terrible, terrible things. Letterman was famous for his ironic distance. That when he said something, you sort of assumed he didnt mean it. The creepy stuff was i have had sex with women who work for me on the show. Now, my response to that is, yes, i have. The audience at first they kind of laughed in a place they really shouldnt have laughed because they didnt know what was happening. Well, now why is that funny . Thats i mean these were employees, people he could hire or fire that hes now admitting On The Air he had sex with. It was a real shock. And it definitely hurt the show. But he survived it. I think it was both evidence of his incredible skill as a speaker and also the connection that he had built with his audience over many years. I hurt a lot of people. I have nobody to blame but pies. Myself. How did you make it better . Im still trying to fix it. But i cant forgive that behavior. Its my fault. Everything. Hey, everybody. Its december 9th, 2008, and youve all heard the big news from nbc. Jay leno is moving to 10 00. Trying to think, couldnt be better. Thats great. Because leno goes on for an hour, then the news, then conan for another hour, and were just ramping it up. When conan got called up to the majors to host the Tonight Show, Warren Michaels thought jimmy would be a great replacement at 12 30. 12 30 shows are way more influential than people think because they have the right people watching. If youre just joining us, yes, these are my real shoulders. Like everyone else, i saw Jimmy Fallon when he became a player on Saturday Night line. Im Jimmy Fallon. Im Tina Fey and here are tonights top stories. And she sting like a bee. My strengths of Saturday Night live where i started as an impressionist. I started doing impressions. I would sing. I would play guitar. Jimmy fallon was not always a stand up comedian. He had always been an ensemble at Saturday Night live. The one thing that people dont fully appreciate is how hard it is to do a daily show in late night with you out there all on your own. Lorne Michaels Advice was get in front of the cameras and get used to the cameras again. Because you havent done that in a while. Everybody, producers wanted me to try out my interview skills. Before we were even On The Air, we made short videos behind the scenes that we put out on the internet. To me on the internet was what late night was, which was experimental. They want to see what i would do in the position if i had a bad guest. How was your vacation. Did you do anything crazy . Im sorry . Get that confidence going, get your rhythm going with the audience, and you feed off that energy. Yo. Two minutes, jimmy. Thanks, steve. Ill come back and get you. Okay. Hi, conan. Hey. You probably want your privacy right now. I just havent had time to clean out my Dressing Room. Will you be taking jays old Dressing Room when you go to l. A. . Jay isnt leaving. When we started, we were a little under the radar because everyone was talking about this conan to leno transition. I mean, i look back now. We did so many bad ideas and things, but it was so much fun. We have a little game were going to try on the first night. Its called Lick It for ten. If you have a bit that the audience likes that you can do more than once, its the greatest. Thats what thank you notes was for me. Thank you, Gift Bags for saying i care enough to put your gift in a slightly fancier bag than the one i bought you in. Just as Conan Obrien came along and changed the program from what David Letterman had done, Jimmy Fallon came along and changed it from what Conan Obrien had done. Its so much fun. I cant tell you how much i love it. He brought his own unique sense of comedy to the program, and i think thats why it felt so fresh again. Write jokes, get dressed, brush teeth. Check. Move to l. A. Move to l. A. . Going to l. A. Was exciting, and i was nervous. I was really nervous. It was a different level of stress. He did this running across the country bit, and it was absurd. But it was an existential moment because there is a drive in him that i dont know if even hes fully aware of what it is. I loved the first show. It was thrilling. Its the Tonight Show with Conan Obrien. Thank you very much thank you. At least we know the Applause Sign works. Thats nice. Will farrell came out. Hes my favorite funny person. Eddie vetter gave me his guitar. They had all signed it. I just thought, i cant believe i get to do this. Good lord. Pearl jam. Well take a break. Well be right back. The first couple of weeks of results were very promising and surpassed what the expectations were. But i think conan was feeling the pressure, and who wouldnt . Conan gets three months On The Air as the host of the Tonight Show before Jay Leno gets his Prime Time show at 10 00 and becomes conans leadin again. Late Night Television is very dependent on leading. Leadin. So having Jay At 10 00, our hope, my hope is that he would do really well. It didnt work out that way. Jay was incredibly talented, but the program didnt work. Nobody wants to see a late Night Show at 10 00 they found out. We were branded the biggest bomb in the history of Prime Time television. Nbc always considered the Jay Leno show a bit of an experiment in Prime Time, but after only four months theyve decided to end that experiment. Ive been in this business for 30 years. The most difficult conversation that ive had in those 30 years was the one where we had to tell conan that we were going to take him out of the 11 30 time Slot And Move jay back in there. I was just listening to this and i couldnt believe that adults had this idea. Its coming back to you now. Real pants. Find amex offers to save on the brands you love. One of the many things you can expect when youre with amex. 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The tempurpedic summer of sleep starts now, with all tempurpedic mattresses on sale, and savings up to 500 on adjustable sets. Nbc thought lets Get Jay On at 11 30. Lets have conan on at 12 00. Lets have jimmy on at 1 00, and lets see what happens. I think they were just going to slowly close off the tap that gave us life blood. I said to my staff, guys, were lucky we have jobs. So just keep your head down and lets keep making entertainment. And conan says, i want to write a statement. Conan released his People Of Earth manifesto. People of earth. I think it was my way of acknowledging the inherent silliness of the situation. But i also laid out exactly what had happened, how i felt about it. And thats when the shit hit the fan. Conan obrien told nbc and the wider World Today he no longer wants to host the Tonight Show if the show is to air in any other time slot. In the End Conan was just too hurt and wouldnt do it. So we decided moving jay back into 11 30 was the right call. Heres Jimmy Kimmel you know, i came from a background in radio of fighting with your competition. At that time it seemed ripe to fight with jay. So i did the show. Dressed as jay. We had a lot of fun with it. Hello, hello. My name is Jay Leno, and let it hereby be known that im taking over all the shows in late night. The next Day Jay called me and said, it was funny. Then they asked me to do their show the next night. I said, yeah, ill do it. But we have to talk about the elephant in the room, which is this thing with conan. They said, yes, no problem. Dont worry. We have ten questions. Question Number One. It was ten questions, the ten at 10 00. Right before the show, they send me the questions. And theyre not about what i agreed to talk to at all. Number five. Youre known for pranks. Whats the best prank you ever pulled . So i felt that i was being bamboozled. So i reacted by making every question about what i wanted to talk about. I think the best prank i ever pulled was i told a guy i told a guy that five years from now im going to give you my show and then when five years came, i gave it to him. I took it back almost instantly. It was hilarious. Wow. It was hilarious. Hello there, im Conan Obrien. Sorry if im a little late. I had a Job Interview at lady foot locker. Im still On The Air and im doing comedy about whats going on with Nbc And Man was that fun. Its going to take nbc several years to pay this off. Its a doozy. We just bought this using their Credit Card from the smithsonian institute. Please welcome a rare Fossil Skeleton of a giant ground sloth, ladies and gentlemen. It was so freeing to get to do that. My writers have never been funnier. Hes Sprague Beluga Caviar on an original picasso. Total cost for this bit, 65 million. People were calling in angry. Hes destroying picassos that punk. I couldnt have been happier. [ laughter ] i think the longer we just sit here, the more uncomfortable it will make jay. If you lose a television show, theres a part of you that feels rejected by america. And now Jay Leno thank you very much. It is good to be home. Good to be home. Good to be home, kev. Im Jay Leno. Im your host, at least for a while. When we went back at 11 30, there was nothing, oh yea, about it. It was just march on. Here we go. We really were determined to do a great show and prove that we were worthy to be back. That was my goal, to walk out of there Number One again. So when conan makes a settlement with nbc, part of the deal is hes forbidden from doing anything on television for eight months. I was legally prohibited from appearing in radio, television. He cannot attend an opera. But nothing in there about social media. So i started this twitter account. And i immediately it just blew up. What do we want . We became like folk heroes, you know. Which is the dumbest thing in the world. Folk heroes of late Night Television. Yes we could the base rallied around him. It became this huge movement. But i didnt have a job and was trying to figure out what do i do next. Tbs appeared on the scene completely unexpectedly. And so conan and his producer, jeff ross, went over to meet with the tbs people. They gave us a compelling argument to go there. Hell be on at 11 00, not at 11 30 so, youll get a jump on the network shows. All the things that cable could provide. These guys were just straightforward. They said, we like you, do whatever you want to do. It was kind of intriguing. Conan, i think youll find our terms very attractive. [ laughter ] i think we have a deal. I think we have a deal. Fore , get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory Bowel Disease symptoms develop or worsen or if youve had a vaccine, or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Call us or visit us online. Were here for you. The light. It comes from within. It drives you. And it guides you. To shine your brightest. As you charge ahead. Illuminating the way forward. A light maker. Recognizing that the impact you make comes from the energy you create. Introducing the allelectric lyriq. Lighting the way. Alright, did you know i was the Mommy Slam dunk champion . Really . Yes, really dont sound so surprised. Lets see it oh youre ready. Alright here we go. Lets hear the crowd. I go to the right. I go to the left. Fake em out. Mama go up, up, up [crash] she did it. Again . You cant avoid gravity. But unitedhealthcare can help you avoid financial surprises by helping you compare costs and Doctor Quality ratings. Unitedhealthcare. Uhhuh. Lo que paso fueron las consecuencias de una rumba loca Y Fue Tan Loca Que Nos merecemos otra otra aventura en Tu Cuerpo Mas Otra Vez thank you and welcome to my second annual first show. At tbs, when you check in on Conan Obrien, hes still Conan Obrien. Hes still doing great work. Its just to a somewhat smaller audience. I am happy to report right now i just go this news that we are already Number One in tbs key demographic, people who cant afford hbo. Once you get into cable, people are able to watch what they want in a niche fashion. W when people of color get shows, its not through, like, a major network. Wanda sykes had a Show Briefly at fox. Let me be the first person on fox not to pick on president obama. There are these tiny opportunities for people of color, and then they are gone as quickly as they arrived. I think that if you gave Wanda Sykes the amount of resources and time to figure it out, of course she could figure it out. Cable did give opportunity to women and to some minorities who were not getting the chances to get the latenight openings when they came up. I think a lot of the time, the mistake we make is we dont truly think of diversity. We think of tokenism. The truth is you have to create genuine content. LateNight Comedy as we know it is a space that has been the white mans boys club. Guys think dicks are funny, and we engage with dicks because theyre attached to us. Then a woman comes, maybe theres another way to tell this joke. It just flies out of my mouth. What happens in a situation where sincerity is paramount . The way youre looking at me makes me want to cover up my vagina. I know 50 of people think im loud and obnoxious, and 50 of people dont. Thats pretty much the way its going to go when you delve into anything different. Black guys love big asses. We need something to hold on to. I look at your body and think thats a lot of meat. I like that. As part of being in part of the boys club, i would only really notice it when it was pointed out to me because women are funny. Thats the bottom line. Next topic. Lets talk about sex addiction. Okay. For the longest time when i watched lateNight Television, we were either spoken to or spoken for. You are looking at the first latino host of his own lateNight Talk Show. When i was doing my show, i was into the huge diversity. My Puerto Rican brother from another mother. I mean i interviewed prince, and prince didnt do shows. Let me ask you what all the other lateNight Talk Shows are asking themselves. Why . This show represents all people, and i see all kinds of guests on here. [ cheers and applause ] theres no question that a fairer sampling of humanity will produce better comedy. Thank you very much, lady gaga, for the art pop makeover. When i started, late night seemed so packaged and shiny floors and no mistakes. So my goal with this show was to just be authentic and authentically weird. Im a positive guy. You are. Yes. Im an optimist. You carry the light, man. You really do. I never thought about being the only gay guy in late night. Being gay has always been just part of Who I Am. What i realized was i had a lot of moms coming to see me with their gay sons. And the moms said to me, you dont know what its meant to watch your show with my son, like for him to see that youre okay and youre happy and everythings going to be okay. Im im getting a little emotional now because it just its i never had that. I still think in a world of audience fragmentation, the Tonight Show is the gold standard. Its always been a critical piece of the nbc brand. We have smart bombs and dumb reporters. Jay stepped in there, dug himself out of that hole. Thats amazing because the pie has been cut up so much. We did four more years, and then we had come to the end of our run. Thank you, everybody. I dont like goodbyes. Nbc does. I dont care. I dont i dont care. As sad as it was that it ended, i felt really good walking out of there. And when people say to me, hey, why didnt you go to abc . Why didnt you go to fox . I didnt know anybody over there. These are the only people ive ever known. We had all been through a lot together, grown up together, matured together, and it was an emotional moment. I love jay. He is such a kind person. I never saw jay treat Anyone P poorly. What i was going to say is he just knew i would do anything to protect him. Weve been friends for 40 years, and hes about to do his last goodbye. And im sitting there, and he reached over and grabbed my hand for a second and said, im really glad you were here. And thats as emotional as jay gets. In closing, i want to quote Johnny Carson, who was the greatest guy to ever do this job. And he said, i bid you all a heartfelt anybody who takes the Tonight Show job knows it comes with a gigantic amount of pressure because it has been the defining show of late night. So i think that was really important to me and to jay to do it the right way if it was going to be done. Jay leno now is being replaced and this is the second time this has happened. Yes. I mean its crazy. Hes being replaced by a younger, lateNight Talk Show host. What could possibly go wrong . State your name. Do solemnly swear. Do solemnly swear. To support and defend. To support and defend. The constitution of the united states. The constitution of the its. Against all enemies. Against all enemies. Foreign and domestic. Foreign and domestic. So help me god. So help me god. It is estimated that over our nations history, somewhere between 40 Million and 60 Million people have taken that