Ass is hardly even a dirty word. This has a few meanings you cant say on television. Like you said you made a perfect ass of yourself tonight. But you cant say hey, lets go get some [beep]. [laughter] announcer and if you think you are unshockable george its showtime. Announcer get ready for George Carlin. George i a professional am comedian. As opposed to the kind you run into at work all day long. Announcer over five incredible decades, comedy changed its look, changed its sound, and changed everything around us. George visine, do they look that red . [laughter] [applause] george can you hold that for me . Hey, now i need it. Now i need it. [laughter] hold them both for me. Now youre under arrest. Announcer through it all, one man was the walking, talking, ranting, raving, voice of the culture. George i call him muhammad ali because thats what he wants. Oh yeah, he is a big dude and he hits hard. Government wanted him to change jobs. Government wanted him to kill people. [laughter] [applause] george he thought it over and he said no, thats where i draw the line. [laughter] ill beat them up, but i dont want to kill them. [laughter] and the government told him well, if you dont kill them, we wont let you beat them up. Announcer from ed sullivan to the very first saturday night live, from dozens of latenight appearances, to his incredible 14 hbo specials. George hitler only had one ball. A lot of people dont know that. A lot of people dont know that. They say hitler, geez, he had a lot of balls. [laughter] george one. [laughter] announcer carlin broke ground and turned comedy on its head. George that is a true oxymoron if i ever heard one. Civil war. Do you think any country could really have a civil war . Say, pardon me. [mimicking gunshots] george im awfully sorry. Announcer now, for the first time ever, you can see it all. Over 30 unique performances covering the hilarious scope of George Carlins brilliant mind and oneofakind career, captured in one complete collection, exclusively from time life. George you know whats great about being a dog . You can choose to take a [beep] whenever you want. Announcer so hold onto your front row seat, because there are more than seven words you cant say on television. George [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] announcer but youll hear every one in this outrageous, explosive collection. George it is about the seven words you cant say on television, which i have been amending since then. Folks have been reminding me of others. [laughter] their own little words that they have. [beep] [beep] and [beep] announcer live, honest, uncensored, and funnier than ever. George the greatest thing since sliced bread. [laughter] george so, this is it, huh folks . The pyramids, for christs sake. Panama canal, the great wall of china, even a lava lamp. [laughter] to me is greater than sliced bread. Whats so great about sliced bread . You got a knife, youve got a loaf of bread. Slice the [beep] thing. [laughter] announcer ladies and gentlemen, George Carlin. George i used to be this guy, or maybe this guy used to be me. I dont know, we were each other at one time. Announcer in the beginning, george was a freshfaced guy in a tie, making the rounds on the variety shows. George welcome on a wonderful wednesday, winning your way with 100 wild and woolly wacky ways on the radio. Announcer but soon enough, the times were achanging, and so was george. George que pasa . Weather,e hippy dippy man . Announcer he traded the tie for a beard and took aim at the establishment. George police fired over the heads of rioters today, however they killed 200 People Living on the second floor. [laughter] announcer while georges star was rising, a little Cable Network called hbo was changing the comedy game. George because of the fcc, im never sure what it is im allowed to say. Announcer on hbo, there was nothing george couldnt say. Their raw and uncensored specials took us inside the club and brought comedy to the masses. George i would like to bring you uptodate on the comedians health sweepstakes. [laughter] as it stands right now, i lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, 21. [laughter] [applause] george im ahead. Thats right. But now, however, richard still leads me 10 on burning yourself up. [laughter] announcer but even hbo had to warn us that carlin was special. Tonight you will see a performance usually seen only if you could get to nightclubs, college campuses, and theaters where George Carlin is a constant sellout. A portion of mr. Carlins performance needs a special introduction, at least for television. Announcer he was going to make us see the world in a whole new way. George if there is a god, it has to be a man. No woman could or would ever [beep] things up like this. Announcer over the decades, carlin kept opening up our minds. George we have more ways to describe dirty words than we actually have dirty words. That seems a little strange to me. It seems to indicate someone was awfully interested in these words. They kept referring to them. They called them bad words, dirty, filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, in poor taste, unseemly, street talk, gutter talk, locker room language, knotty, talk, bawdy, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lewd, lascivious, indecent, profane, obscene, blue, offcolor, risque, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing, and all i can think of was [beep], [beep], [beep], and [beep]. Announcer he produced a staggering 14 hbo specials. George thats my job, thinking up goofy [beep], every now and then letting you know what it is, or reminding you of things you already know, but forgot to laugh at the first time they happened. [laughter] announcer comedians are a dime a dozen, but only one in a million is a legend. This collection is your chance to laugh along with the genius of George Carlin anytime you like. George in our school, we did not have grades. We did not have as, bs, cs, or ds. The only as i got was and this is a Little Corner cut a little corny, i got their attention, their approval, their approbation, their admiration, and their applause. Those are the only as i wanted and i got them. Announcer the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth has never been funnier. George if you heard one of the albums, you know that i once made a list of the seven words you can never say on television. But there are seven words you must say on television from time to time, and thats what i have to do now. Well be right back after station identification. I hope you are ready for a little random anger. Announcer George Carlin was not a fan of advertising. George turn on the [beep] tv announcer but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so we are going to give it to you straight. Ready . Here it goes. George people ought to get what they want once in a while. Announcer introducing the best of George Carlin, exclusively from time life. George my kind of television. I just want some entertainment. Its just the kind of guy i am. Announcer this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. George got to check it out. Announcer 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials. George [beep] cable. This has got to be on payperview. Announcer plus, rare clips, including early appearances on the hollywood palace, the Jackie Gleason show and the ed sullivan show. George tonights forecast, dark. Announcer hours of bonus content, including carlins one and only Mainstream Network special, the real George Carlin. George i grew up here, really. This is a groovy neighborhood. Announcer a lost Company Comedy record, sourced from over 40 years of carlins personal cassettes. George speaking of places where people blow cows, let me ask you a question. Announcer indepth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. George they had to read these words out loud in court. Im just proud of that. Announcer and so much more. George have you ever noticed that you dont seem to get laid on thanksgiving . I think it is because all of the old coats are on the bed. Announcer key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. George pussyfoot, interesting word. It is a rare female birth defect. Announcer no bull, no baloney. 10 discs, all carlin, all for only five payments of 19. 99. George wait until i tell them this. Announcer plus, if you order in the next 18 minutes, we will send you two free bonus dvds. George have you ever looked at your watch and then you dont know what time it is . [laughter] so you look again. Announcer totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of georges legendary appearances on the tonight show starring johnny carson. George the bureau of Indian Affairs has discovered another mohican. [laughter] announcer and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. George great, isnt this great . Announcer plus, if you order now, we will also include a collectors booklet with photos and a look at his electrifying career. George you want to see some pictures of my kid . No. Announcer this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances totaling 30 hours from five decades. George id like to repeat that, because it sounds vaguely important. Announcer anything we missed . George no cash, no problem. [laughter] no kidding. Announcer right. This is the collectors carlin, and you wont find it in stores. Only time life can bring it straight to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. George easy terms, affordable prices, moneyback guarantee. Announcer if you have not laughed yourself silly at the best of George Carlin george i always wanted to work in a delicatessen just so a woman would come in one day and ask me to give her some tongue. [laughter] and i would say well, i dont get off until 4 00. And she said well, i dont get off at all. That is why i am looking for some tongue. Announcer well refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. George when you return an item, you know where you put it, dont you . You put it anywhere you want. Announcer order now to get the best of George Carlin. Over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvds of carlin on carson that have never been available before on dvd. That is 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet all for just five payments of 19. 99. And well ship it for free. George that is really a big bunch. Announcer no lies, just laughter. George im here to entertain and inform. Announcer order now. George ill be heading home to you. Yes, some words of fun. Words like flammable. Flammable, inflammable, and noninflammable. [laughter] george why are there three . [laughter] does it seem to you as though two words ought to be able to handle that idea . I mean either the thing flamms or it doesnt flamm. Announcer George Carlin was a master of language. Your fascination with language is so apparent. Watching you work is almost like watching a musician. The way you weave words and use language for emphasis. George you listen for rhythms, you look for ways to sing at the same time you are talking. Youre talking, going doodoodooo. And its just natural. Announcer whether he was giving us the weather, the news. George food and Drug Administration announced today that saliva causes stomach cancer. [laughter] [applause] george however, only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. Announcer or just his views. George i got this real moron thing i do, its called thinking. [laughter] and im not a really Good American because i like to form my own opinion. [laughter] i dont just roll over when im told to. There are a couple of things about kids you have to remember. First of all, theyre not all cute, ok . [laughter] in fact if you look at them close, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. Announcer he delivered a handcrafted, pitch perfect, pyrotechnic performance built from the ground up. George im a rude dude, but im a real deal. Lean, mean. Ready to rock. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Driving and moving, sailing and spinning. Jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I dont snooze so i dont lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunch time is crunch time. Im hanging in. There aint no doubt. And im hanging tough, over and out. Announcer from rehearsals to clubs to latenight. George if you change your plans and you alter your plans, youve done the same thing. But if you change your pants and you alter your pants, youve done two different things. Announcer when carlin works out a routine in front of an audience, you are seeing greatness taking shape before your eyes. George as long as were talking about minorities arent we . Indirectly . Ok. I have to remember to keep that in. Im getting laughs on the exposition now. Announcer these have been painstakingly gathered. And together, they take you inside the brilliant brain of a master comic. George [beep] lance armstrong. You know that . [beep]. [beep] him and his ball and his bike. [beep]. [beep]. I am tired of being told who to admire in this country. [applause] george while youre at it, [beep] tiger woods too [laughter] announcer he called them like he saw them. George are you ready for some fun . Yeah. George well they say blondes have more fun. Unfortunately, they also have more vd. [laughter] announcer he told it like it is. George the upperclass keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The middle classes pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there just to scare the [beep] out of the middle class. [laughter] announcer and he never let anyone shut him up. George if there is a god, may he strike this audience dead. See . Everything is fine, nobodys hurt. Announcer only George Carlin could make us laugh by telling the truth. George you noticed there are not many chinese guys named rusty . [laughter] all over canada they have been asking for us to bring back George Carlin. So, ladies and gentlemen, here is comedian, comedy star George Carlin. Announcer introducing the best of George Carlin, exclusively from time life. George i am, indeed, highly dandy. Announcer this is the musthave, comprehensive collection of carlin classics. George we are doing a little tape for home consumption. Announcer 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials. George ever pet a cat who is lying absolutely flat . Before you finish, way up in the air. Announcer plus rare clips, including early appearances on the ed sullivan show, the hollywood palace, and the Jackie Gleason show. George usually the Television Day begins with the morning prayer, god willing. Announcer hours of bonus content, including carlins one and only Mainstream Network special, the real George Carlin. George i am from this neighborhood, and i used to get over and see you. Announcer indepth interviews, featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. George time to get this thing going. Announcer and so much more. George excuse me. [laughter] i dont remember eating that. [laughter] announcer all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. George a man in detroit is suing a soup company, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup spelled an obscene message to his wife. Announcer no bull, no baloney, 10 discs, all carlin, all for only five payments of 19. 99. George boy, this is good stuff. Announcer plus if you order in the next 10 minutes. George three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. Announcer well send you two bonus dvds. George dont forget to pick up your free gift. Announcer totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of georges legendary appearances on the tonight show, starring johnny carson. George the ed sullivan impression, the idea is that everyone can do it. Agents and managers can do them now. I am sure that somewhere in the world, there is a bear that can do it. And a good one. Yeah. Just from being on the show. And watching esther williams. Announcer and well ship it all to you absolutely free. George good rule. Announcer plus if you order now, we will also include an exclusive collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a look at georges electrifying career. George dont know what you might find it here. In here. Announcer this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances totaling nearly 30 hours from across five decades. George what . Announcer anything we missed, george . George and i answered, well, yes, apparently so. According to the information. Announcer right. This is the collectors carlin, and you wont find it in stores. Only time life can bring it to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. George spectacular thing going on there. Announcer if you havent laughed yourself silly at George Carlin george this program was prerecorded. Of course it was prerecorded. When else are you going to record it . Afterwards . Announcer we will refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. George yes, you get back everything. Announcer so order now to get the best of George Carlin, over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvds of carlin on carson that have never been available on dvd. That is 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of 19. 99. And well ship it for free. George pretty neat deal, huh . Announcer no lies, just laughter. George i have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment. And i have always been willing to put you at great personal risk for a similar reason. For the same reason. Announcer order now. George id like to place an order and i will be down to pick it up. I can go out on stage . [applause] announcer George Carlin thrilled every audience he stood in front of. But at his heart, he was a comics comic. Every time you are working, it gets my mind thinking. That is what i like it when you are around. Jon there are two things that comedians of all stripes have in common, basically. One, the belief that someone who is not as funny as they are is doing better than they are. [laughter] jon and two were a cynical bunch. And two, a sincere love and respect for George Carlin and his work. George is different. He writes his own material. I can understand his creativeness. Announcer the generations that came before him were dazzled by him. Jackie if i were asked to describe our next comedian, i would have to say that he is one of the most original in show business. It is great to see new comedians come along, because if there is one thing the world can always use, you know its a smile. And this young fellow is one of the best. Announcer and the generations that followed him all tried to walk in his footsteps. Ive been a fan of georges ever since i can first remember him. Boy, is he great now. I first began listening to George Carlin in seventh grade. We had gotten a hold of class clown, and man, it was funny and dirty, and great. And we just knew, instinctively, that parents werent going to like this kind of thing. My pleasure in listening to george grows every time i hear him, as my respect and admiration for him as a performer and as a person. Announcer george had a sharp mind, a powerful voice, and a huge heart. George my mother, at these intermissions, she would see someone and say, look at that man over there. Look at the way hes holding his glass. Look at the way he moves his hand when he speaks. Watch how he holds his cigarette. Hes cultured. He has refinement. You have that. So. And im going to get a chance to realize that, for her, in a way. Part of the deal, what happens when you get a pet. You have him for a while, they get old. [whistles] they go away. [laughter] george its inevitable when you buy the pet. Youre supposed to know it in the pet shop. Its going to end badly. [laughter] youre purchasing a small tragedy. Announcer he loved his pet. He loved his family. And he might not have loved humanity, but he sure loved people. George when youre born in this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. And when youre born in america, you are given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks. And i am a notebook guy. Oh, my god. Did you see that . Did you see what he just . And i watch the freak show, and i got my notes and i make up stuff about it, and i talk about the freaks. And the freaks are all human. And theyre like me. They are all the same. Were all the same. Im not better, im not different, i am just a part now. Announcer george could joke about life and death. George im getting old, and its ok, because thanks to our fear of death in this country, i wont have to die. Ill pass away. [applause] george the epitaph id like is, jeez, he was just here a minute ago. [laughter] announcer he could keep it light. George im a happy guy. Announcer or go deep into the dark. George religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do. And the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place of burning and fire, and smoke and torture and anguish, for you to live forever. But he loves you. [laughter] announcer George Carlin had a mind for all times. And anytime he was talking, he was making us laugh. George i have a theory on why people moan at certain jokes. Envy. [laughter] george now im going to lighten up a little bit. [laughter] were going to go back to advertising. Announcer george was not a fan of advertising. George [beep] here we go again. Announcer but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so were going to give it to you straight. Ready . Here it goes. George you have going for a ride. Announcer introducing the best of George Carlin, exclusively from time life. George you want that now . Announcer this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. George by any chance, did you hear that . Announcer 10 discs, featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials. George it is hbo time. Announcer plus rare clips, including early appearances on the Jackie Gleason show, the ed sullivan show, and the hollywood palace. George there will be a rain dance friday night, weather permitting. Announcer hours of bonus content, including carlins one and only Mainstream Network special, the real George Carlin. [laughter] a lost comedy record, sourced from over 40 years of carlins personal cassettes. George im going to try this on you. I dont give a [beep] if you like it or not. Im going to do it. Announcer indepth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. George ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Announcer and so much more. George more fun for me. Announcer all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. George when you are a kid, they threaten you. Wait until your father comes home. Hes going to read you the riot act. Tell him i already read it myself and i didnt like it either. I consider it wordy and poorly thought out. Announcer no bull, no baloney. 10 discs. All carlin. All for only five payments of 19. 99. George wow. Announcer plus, if you order in the next three minutes. George 1, 2, 3, oh wow. Announcer well send you two free bonus dvds, totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of georges legendary appearances on the tonight show starring johnny carson. George on the medical front, researchers have discovered a new disease which has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect and there is no known cure for it. Fortunately, its confined to new jersey. [laughter] announcer and well ship it all to you absolutely free. George im in the car. Announcer plus if you order now, well also include an exclusive collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a big picture look at georges electrifying career. George you look at it. Announcer this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances, totaling nearly 30 hours from across five decades. George hurricanes form just off the coast of west africa. They form off the coast of west africa, they come all the way across the ocean, and they attack the south. [laughter] announcer anything we missed, george . George these are my rules. I make them up. Announcer right. This is the collectors carlin, and you wont find it in stores. Only time life can bring it straight to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. George quality, value, style. Announcer if you havent laughed yourself silly at the best of George Carlin, well refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. George a little truth in advertising. Announcer so order now and get the best of George Carlin. Over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvds of carlin on carson that have never been available on dvd. Thats 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of 19. 99. And well ship it for free. George this is the best we can do, folks. This is what we have to offer. Announcer no lie, just laughter. George you wouldnt know it, but some of the things ive said over the years, but i like people. [laughter] announcer order now. George our courteous and knowledgeable Sales Representatives will help you make a selection thats just right for you and just right for your budget. Thanks to you and thanks to everybody who thought that this would be a good idea. Because i know i had some fun. See you on the street, take care now. Announcer its always a good idea to feel the love with the best of George Carlin. George i love you. [beep] you. Byebye. Announcer order now. The preceding was a paid advertisement from time life. The preceding was a paid program. The opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloombeen announcer the following is a paid program. The opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. Announcer the following is a paid advertisement from time life. Robin my name is Robin Williams. [laughter] announcer hold onto your hat. Robin for those of you on acid, this is a frisbee. [laughter] announcer the time has come for an epic entertainment event. Its mind blowing. It is jawdropping. And most of all, its genius. Genius. Genius. Genius. Comedic genius. Announcer time life proudly presents a onceinalifetime collection decades in the making. Robin yo its robin. Announcer Robin Williams, comic genius. Robin you are sucked into drinking beer by thinking it is a healthy thing. All these beer commercials usually show manly men doing manly things. Youve just killed a small animal. Its time for a light beer. [laughter] why not have a realistic beer commercial . Whats a realistic thing about beer . Its 5 00 in the morning. You have just [expletive] on a dumpster. Its miller time. [laughter] announcer for years, Robin Williams was the funniest man on earth, the biggest star in comedy, and everywhere robin went, every show he performed, every stage he set foot on, he left us laughing. Robin what jack is trying to say here, is he is so happy to be here, he could drop a log, really. [laughter] announcer and now, for the first time ever, time life has painstakingly gathered over 60 unique performances from across four decades by the most lovable entertainer of our lifetime. Robin male cats have that amazing thing where they are kind of Walking Around going, thats mine. [laughter] robin mine announcer this is the ultimate collection of musthave masterpieces of comedy, spanning robins entire incredible career, hand selected by the people you trust to bring you the best. Robin there is only one animal that can tell you that shes happy and wants to mate. That is coco the silverbacked gorilla. When she saw me, the blueeyed simian, she was intrigued. I said to her trainer, what does that mean . She wants you to tickle her. Ok, i tickle her. She goes then, she goes what does that mean . She wants you to lift your shirt. [laughter] i lift my shirt. She reaches out and grabs both my nipples. [laughter] robin and then a fun thing happened, because my [beep] went, somebody wants to play. Can we go to phrase two . No, do not go to phase two [laughter] robin this is not a human warning, warning. [laughter] robin but part of me went, could be fun. [laughter] announcer we all knew Robin Williams. And we all loved him. But now, youll see robin like youve never seen him before. Robin we look like a before and after commercial. [laughter] robin hi, thanks to this incredible implant, you can become tom cruise. Announcer you will go where he goes, from carson to leno. Robin remember when w used to call himself a compassionate conservative . I always thought it was a weird combination, like a volvo with a gun rack. [laughter] announcer hbo to oprah. Oprah i have to rest up when you come, because you just never know what direction you will take us. [laughter] announcer mork and mindy, to ellen. Robin they go, do you want to eat . [laughter] i know a place that Frank Sinatra had the best pasta ever made, this place. Hold on one moment. [speaking italian] [laughter] [speaking italian] [laughter] [applause] [laughter] [speaking italian] dont worry. I know him. [laughter] announcer on talk shows, award shows. Here to present you with the award for the funniest standup comic. Robin no. Serious . Who do i thank . Nobody its mine [laughter] announcer standup tours, uso tours, and more. Robin you know my baby, you got be the fool [inaudible] announcer so sit back, buckle up, and get ready to take a wild ride through the dazzling, dizzying, delightful mind of a comic genius, starting now. All of us admire the great, fast reflexes of great athletes. For those of us who have not been blessed with your gift, how do you explain the mental reflexes you deploy and are deploying tonight with such awesome speed . Are you thinking faster than the rest of us, what the hell is going on . [laughter] [applause] robin in case you ever go to the soviet union, it is necessary to know this phrase. [speaking russian] why am i under arrest . [laughter] announcer robin was a comic, a rocket, a ball of energy bursting with contagious joy. Robin i would like to start off with something i am very proud of right now. [laughter] i will have to ask these people to move back, though. Announcer from his early years, to the height of his fame, Robin Williams was most at home on the stage. Robin home in san francisco. Back again. Announcer robins standup comedy was a roller coaster ride through his incredible mind, and he never did exactly the same show twice. Robin everyone i have ever known. [laughter] there are people here i have slept with twice. [laughter] announcer you never knew what robin would say or do. Robin you dont need drugs when you have a kid, you are awake, you are paranoid, you smell bad. It is the same thing. Announcer because he never knew what he would say or do. Robin how are you, my friend . What . Thats your old boss . Did you [bleep] him . Sorry. Not an inappropriate question to ask in washington. Announcer but he always loved an audience, and we always loved him right back. Robin, i was just out there enjoying perrier water and was laughing my [bleep] off and i am up here and im wet. Robin i guess you are ready then. [laughter] announcer robins legendary hbo specials captured his lightning in a bottle and preserved it for generations to come. Robin to do hamlet, to be, or what . Announcer these iconic shows span his explosive career from the electrifying beginning, to the masterful peak. Robin the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south is somebody losing a trailer, there is none. Announcer and they are altogether for the first time in this definitive, oneofakind collection. Robin and now, they can invent a sport like golf. Here is my idea. A ball in the gopher hole. You mean like pool . Not with a straight stick, with a little stick. [laughter] the ball goes in the gopher hole. Oh, you mean like croquet . [beep] croquet, i put the hole hundreds of yards away right near the end, i will put a flat piece between the two flags to give you [bleep] hope. I will do this one time. [bleep] no [laughter] as a standup, as a comedian, there was no one finer. You dont remember robins act, you just remember you were there and you watched it, how you remember something where its like 45,000 things just happened. Robin i would like to introduce to you a friend of mine who is a funny human being. But trust me, he is crazy. I worked with him once on stage. He asked me to come up and do improv with him, and i watched him for an hour. Ladies and gentlemen, Robin Williams. Announcer introducing Robin Williams, comic genius, exclusively from timelife. Robin when they say, let there be light, could this be a metaphor for the big bong . The big bong . God sat back and went, wow, do you know what this needs . A lot more stuff. Because up until now, there was not a lot around. And once we had the big bong, we had a total expansion of the universe, and god said, i think i should create a sugary snack. [laughter] announcer this is the comedy event we all have been waiting for. Robin we are having a wonderful here tonight. Can i get an amen right now . Amen. Announcer for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robins unique genius, across decades and across the globe. Robin [speaking french] quebec. Robin ok. So i will talk slower. [speaking french] announcer everywhere he went, he made us laugh. Now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. Robin here in california, you have total amnesty, because they know nobody is going to stop themselves to the top of a range rover for a mocha. They walk through your yard like supermodels with hooves. Like, hi. Are these your roses . [laughter] oh my god, a deer fence. [laughter] announcer this is the very best of robin, on 11 dvds for only five payments of 19. 99. Robin you can hear credit cards flying out of their wallets right now. Announcer you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robins legendary hbo specials. Robin i will show you around. [laughter] announcer and hand selected, fulllength episodes of mork and mindy with introductions from pam dawber. Robin formal introduction. Get down. I am mork, from ork. Na nu na nu . Im mindy mcconnell. [laughter] announcer you will travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. Robin chuck, pam, great to see you. [laughter] announcer on carson, leno, ellen, and oprah. Robin dont try this at home. Announcer at awards shows, at home, and overseas. Robin everyone is in desert camo and one guy is in jungle green. I guess he didnt get the memo. Announcer this collection is packed with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. Check these legs out. Am i french or what . Announcer even when robin was bad, he was always good. Even when he was dirty, your mom would go, he was kind of naughty, but funny. Announcer and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we cant show you on tv. Robin the sensors over there are going i hand you my resignation. Announcer plus, if you order in the next 18 minutes, we will also send you an exclusive bonus dvd just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, Robin Williams come inside my mind. And if you order now, you will also receive a special Stocking Stuffer from timelife. Robin williams uncensored, full of behindthescenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. Robin i want to read to you from a special book here. It says here, two jews walk into a bar. [laughter] announcer and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. This collection is as unique as robin. It makes a great gift, and you wont find it in stores. Only timelife can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Robin i love when you are standing, but even when you are sitting. Announcer if robin doesnt brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. Robin thats right, and if you order now, you also get the salad. [laughter] announcer so order now to get Robin Williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, latenight performances of mork and mindy, plus the documentary come inside my mind. That is 12 dvds bursting with comic genius, plus Robin Williams uncensored, all for just five payments of 19. 99, and we will ship it for free. Robin it really sounds great to me. You really should see it. That is right. Announcer this is not your average comedy collection. It is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. Order now. Robin you better buy this or i will nail your [bleep] to a tree. I can grant you one wish. I wish to have Robin Williams on my show. Robin that is impossible. He is a big hollywood superstar. He is an Academy Award winner. Are there any other wishes you would have . I would like to be young and beautiful. Robin ok, i will get you Robin Williams. Announcer robins joy was contagious. Everywhere he went, people broke out in smiles and laughter. Robin are you ok . Announcer he quickly became televisions best guest. [cheering and applause] robin dont be afraid. Come on, mr. Camera, we are going crazy. Look. Toys all over the set. Dont be afraid. He just turned on the switch and let him go. Robin can you teach me this . You better hold on. Dont make me come down and get real crazy. Announcer our favorite hosts would do their best jokes when robin dropped by. Were having a pretty good time here with robin. I have laughed so much. Im getting one of those laugh headaches. You gave me a case of your wine. It is very tasty. Robin thats a good thing. Ellen is it your wine . You make it . Robin i dont make it personally. A group of little ladies in australia knit jumpers for penguins. They are for the little ones, you know. They knit these penguins sweaters the penguins wear until their feathers grow back. Thats adorable. Are they, like, tank tops . [laughter] robin a lovely gay jumper. I want something to make my flippers look good. Announcer even other guests got caught up in the madness. [laughter] do women generally like you making those noises . Robin oh, yeah. [laughter] announcer when the unexpected happened both of these are real talent houses. Robin it is the comet again. People of earth. We are back on. We are back on. Robin it is the mothership, jay. Announcer there was no one you would rather have up to bat than robin, especially when he brought a friend. Robin used to scream on the set, hes back hes back he is so hot [laughter] i am like joan embry, and i just brought him out. [laughter] [applause] announcer and when the unexpected was what you expected, robin was right where he belonged. Robin what sound or noise do you love . [fart noise] [laughter] robin because it is musical, but it could be anything. It is the most humanizing noise, to know that even the pope could be going [speaking italian] [fart noise] Robin Williams was the first real celebrity interview i did. Robin came out and he wanted to kill, he wanted to slay the audience. Robin, you felt you were watching a genius at work. Robin take two. Lets go, lets go. Lets start from the beginning. Lets go. Announcer introducing Robin Williams comic genius, exclusively from timelife. Robin in california this summer, all the state parks caught on fire. Which is bad, because these parks are full of weed. It is bad news. Even the guys fighting the fires were like [laughter] oh my god, make another rainbow, tommy. Even smokey the bear is going, only you can [laughter] announcer this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. Robin the adventure of your life. Remember that, boys and girls. Announcer for the first time ever, one collection captures robins unique genius across decades and across the globe. Robin i would like to take some pictures for the people at home in the soviet union. Excuse me. Thank you. Announcer this is the very best of robin on 11 dvds for only five payments of 19. 99, you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robins legendary hbo specials. Robin i know there is a cure for whatever bioterrorism they send at us, it lies within keith richards. I know that. Hes the only man on the planet who can go, anthrax, alright. [laughter] announcer and hand selected fulllength episodes of mork and mindy with introductions from pam dawber. Robin no, sir. That is not quite right. I am the son of a test tube. Announcer travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. Robin everybody is on here. Look at this. Alaska. [seal noise] hawaii. And there is california for sure, totally. Announcer on oprah, ellen, carson, and leno. You guys complement each other. Robin 20 years of foreplay. Announcer on talk shows, award shows, at home and overseas. Robin so nice to be in a place called manass. I come from san francisco. Is there really a place called manass . It is a base. Oh, im going. Announcer this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. He is like a child with the mind of a genius. Announcer even when robin was bad, he was always good. Robin caliente. [laughter] robin so bad. Raise a hand. Announcer and now you can own it all, even the stuff we cant show you on tv. Robin yes announcer plus, if you order in the next 10 minutes, we will also send you an incredible exclusive bonus dvd, just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, Robin Williams come inside my mind. Robin [robot voice] its robin. Im calling you, giving you love. Goodbye. Announcer and if you order now, you will receive a special Stocking Stuffer from timelife. Robin merry christmas. Ha ha ha ha. Announcer Robin Williams uncensored, full of behindthescenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. Robin but wait, there is more. Announcer we will ship it to you absolutely free. Robin thanks for nothing. [laughter] announcer this collection is as unique as robin. It makes a great gift, and you wont find it in stores. Only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Robin check it out. Check it out. Announcer if robin doesnt brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. Robin here is five dollars. Announcer so order now to get Robin Williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, late night, uso performances, mork and mindy, hours of exclusive extras, plus the hbo documentary come inside my mind bonus dvd. That is 12 dvds bursting with comic genius, plus Robin Williams uncensored, all for just five payments of 19. 99, and we will ship it for free. Robin that is cool. That is cool. Announcer this is not your average comedy collection, it is an epic entertainment event. So, give yourself the gift of laughter. Order now. Robin to television, to life, and to happiness. May we all stay crazy. For me, i love to take the chance and improvise. That is the greatest high in the world, when you are trying new stuff and getting suggestions and playing and doing new things, that is my favorite. That is the unknown. Announcer Robin Williams was born with a special gift. Robin my first joke was, i love you in blue, i love you in red, but most of all, i love you in blue. Announcer and for decades, he shared that gift everywhere he went. Robin santa was delivering presents in iraq, but the reindeer are dropping flares out of their [expletive]. [laughter] robin sorry, little girl. She had to go now. Is she ok . No, no, it is ok. She can stay. She thinks i am peter pan . In many ways, i am. [laughter] announcer the legacy of robin is a lot of jokes, a lot of fun, and a whole lot of love. Robin was such a kind soul, he was such a kind soul. Robin i would also like to thank the writers. They are not here right now. They are somewhere else doing wonderful drugs. [laughter] and for those of you at home on drugs, it is ok all the people of the production staff, the people who worked with us, around us, sometimes near us, an Incredible Group of people, thank you very much. Its incredible. I think robin was the most generous person i have ever known, but not just to me, but to lots and lots of people. Robin i am here for one reason. You. I am also here to say, you rock. [cheering] robin if you could save one person, if you could change one person, you have done something. But for me, it is that laugh. You know . Part of dads giving and generous spirit was finding acceptance. Thats the word. It wasnt about the adulation, it was more so about being accepted. That was something that drove him forward and contributed to him continuing to be generous in spirit, and giving and compassionate throughout his entire life, and in so many different ways. Robin i dedicate this to the memory of a friend of mine. Chris reeve, i miss you. And i also say, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, sweet prince. Good night. That need for acceptance. That drove him to continue to do it. Robin that time my son looks at me and gives me the look in the eyes like, what is it going to be . Son, i dont know, but maybe along the way, you will take my hand, tell a few jokes, and have some fun. Hey, how do you get to the met . Money. Yeah, come on, pal. [applause] having listened to everything on this collection, i think it comes as close as humanly possible to bringing robins genius back to life. Robin for those of you at home watching your television set, if you want to feel the power, grab the back of your tv and get a shock. [laughter] announcer introducing Robin Williams, comic genius, exclusively from timelife. Robin what do you want to do, my love . Maybe we can go to that queen gypsy restaurant and ask for our favorite waiter and he will give us a boost near the oyster bar. I would sit by the fireplace, but i know that bums you out very much. [laughter] announcer this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. That is a lot of fun. Announcer for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robins unique genius across decades and across the globe. Robin si. Announcer everywhere he went, he made us laugh. And now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. Robin ling ling the panda, she must mate. So they can build the wing for the zoo. So they go to china and anesthetize a panda, which is kind of redundant, and they bring him back to america, put him in a cage with ling ling and say, go mate, and he looks at her like, that is one ugly panda. [laughter] announcer this is the best of robin on 11 dvds for only five payments of 19. 99. Robin what have you got to lose . Announcer you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robins legendary hbo specials. Robin maybe they should have a gps that is ageappropriate. It ages with you. Like, there is your turn hello . [laughter] announcer and handselected, fulllength episodes of mork and mindy with introductions from pam dawber. Pam we were breaking up all the time. We had license to do that. Announcer travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. Robin mr. Sinatra, can i just shake your hand . Why not . Robin sell my clothes, i am to heaven. Announcer on leno, carson, oprah, and ellen. Ellen you brought something. Robin he is back here. Aww. And unless you send your money, we are putting him in the microwave. [laughter] announcer on talk shows, award shows, at home, and overseas. Robin be very, very quiet. I am looking for terrorists. Announcer plus, every single dvd in this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. Robin yes announcer even when robin was bad, he was always good. Robin they ask me, why do i touch myself . Because it is there. Announcer and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we cant show you on tv. Robin dont try these jokes at home. Announcer plus, if you order in the next three minutes, we will send you an incredible, exclusive bonus dvd justintime for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, Robin Williams come inside my mind. And if you order now, you will also receive a special Stocking Stuffer from time life. Robin merry christmas, happy hanukkah. Announcer Robin Williams uncensored, full of behindthescenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. Robin mother gave me this so i can write my new book. Announcer and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. This collection is as unique as robin, it makes a great gift, and you wont find it in stores. Only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Robin lord, yes, child. Announcer if robin doesnt brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100 of your purchase price, no questions asked. So order now to get Robin Williams comic genius, over 30 hours of standup, latenight, uso performances, mork and mindy, and hours of exclusive extras, plus your bonus dvd of the hbo documentary, come inside my mind. That is 12 dvds bursting with comic genius, plus Robin Williams uncensored, all for just five payments of 19. 99, and we will ship it for free. Robin learn to be funny in your spare time. Announcer this is not your average comedy collection. It is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. Order now. Robin which way is the telephone . That way. You are only given a little spark of madness. And if you lose that, you are nothing. Dont from me to you dont ever lose that, because it keeps you alive, because if you lose that that is my only love. Crazy. [applause] announcer so let robin light up your home and your heart. [applause] robin we did it announcer order now. Announcer the preceding was a paid advertisement from time life. Announcer the preceding was a paid program. The opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. Good evening, good morning and good 2020. This is always one of the high points of the year. We will take it for what it is. A surveillance special a look a year ahead to 2020. We are always trying to find someone with experience, with perspective. They have been right and wrong. We can do no better after this most interesting 2019 than abby joseph cohen, senior strategist at goldman sachs. Her contribution to the American Financial system andh