Memberfor hastings she was first elected in 2010 as the member for hastings and rye and served as home secretary from 2016 to 2018, and also worked as the work and pensions secretary under theresa mays government and continued that role under boris johnson. Just mays government and continued that role under borisjohnson. Just a reminder of that breaking news. At ten 0clock Kate Silverton will be here with a full round up of the days news. But first blind comedian Chris Mccausland hosts the second part of a comedy and storytelling show featuring funny and fascinating stories told by disabled people and those with Mental Health difficulties. This programme contains discussion of some adult subjects. This programme contains some strong language. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host for tonight. Chris mccausland applause hello, ladies and gentlemen welcome to ouch storytelling live at the Edinburgh Festival fringe my names Chris Mccausland. Ijust turned 42, just a month ago. I am enjoying being in my 40s, if im honest, i feel good for it. I dont do birthday parties though. I didnt even have a aoth. My mates, they took me to see guns n roses live, or so they told me anyway. We could have just gone to their houses and put the live album on, couldnt we charge me six quid a pint for three hours. Not as busy as you would have thought, this guns n roses concert, is it chris . Not as popular as they were . You enjoying yourself . Yeah mate, it sounds a bit weird, theres a cat, but never mind. We have go a series of storytellers today who each have a disability or a Mental Health difficulty. Some of these guys have never been on stage before. The theme this year is lost and found and we have let the guys interpret that however they want to. The only criteria is that the stories are all true. So guys, let me ask you, are you ready for your first storyteller of the show . Crowd yes what i want is a lot of love, support for Reece Finnegan cheering and applause. Hello. Ifeel like being lost and getting lost is pretty integral to being a blind person. Im 23 now, i have been blind eye life. The story im telling today is about when i got lost in my brand new bosss house. This was last year, it is a saturday morning and i wake up a little bit hung over, i have, lam all by myself and i have a dead phone and none of my other possessions. So all i can rememberfrom the night before is that i had been out for some drinks with some new colleagues after work. After a couple of bars, one of them, jay, who happened to be the bosss son, invited a couple of us back to his house in kensington for some after drinks. About nine hours later i wake up in this random place with no idea where i am and no sign of my colleagues anywhere. This house was huge, it was a mansion. Four floors and tons of rooms, really hard to navigate. Believe me, when you are visually impaired, trying to get out of disabled toilet without feeling up the changing table is hard enough, so this was a massive struggle. I am in a rush because im trying to get home for my little nephews birthday, so i get out of bed and i come to the first door which happens to be an ensuite toilet. Im there for five or ten minutes, and then i hear suddenly theres a voice coming from close by, this unfamiliar female voice, saying hey reece, is jays mum, jay told me you are saying and ijust wanted to see if you are ok, if you needed anything, because i am flying off to la in five minutes. So the advice in this situation for a blind person is that if you are offered help you to probably take it when it is offered, because you dont know when it will be offered again. I didnt do that, i was so shocked and awkward to hear someone close by when i thought i was casually on the toilet, that all i could do was just squeak back no, i am fine thank you, lam good. To make matters worse when i stood up and pulled my trousers up, i was feeling around for a sink and i found another door to the bathroom, a door which had been open the entire time, and a door which jays mum had been standing in while she was talking to me. So not only was this not an ensuite toilet, my new mates mum had just been talking to me with my pants down on the toilet. I dont even think she had business in la, i think she was just flying there to escape the unbearable awkwardness of the situation. Still love that. So dignity at an all time high obviously, i thought, what have i got less to lose . Im going to go and explore, ill try and find my stuff and get out as quick as possible, jays mum was already gone. So i come out of this new door and come into a hallway, which hasjust so many doors coming off it, an absolute labyrinth. I have no idea where i am going, so ijust edged in one direction down the hallway. I got to some stairs, nice big spiral staircase, and i am congratulating myself because i am going well so far, minus the toilet incident. It is going all right until i reach the top of the stairs and i clang into something giant and metal. I stumble back a bit, fully expecting some kind of home alone trap to just unleash itself on me, and it turned out to be a massive suit of armour just leaning against the wall. Laughter. So its not what you would expect to find when you are just strolling through a house. It dawns on me at this point, this is my bosss house, so there is a lot of expensive stuff around, i have only been at this job for two weeks as well, so i am pretty sure rampaging through priceless ornaments is not going to do me any favours at thisjob. Eventually i find myself in a cloakroom, i was feeling my way around just coats and bags, the biggest cloakroom i have ever been in my life, bigger than every room in my house, it was crazy. Lam in there and i heara noise, it sounds like footsteps. I think ok, maybe someone can help me. The other thing is that i felt a bit of panic, because i dont know about other visually impaired people but i dont really like not having my symbol cane, i dont really like not having it on me if i am meeting new people. Just because it avoids awkwardness, if i miss a handshake, it avoids awkward questions like who are you, why are you in my house, i didnt have it on me unfortunately. So ijust kind of sheepishly came out of the cloakroom, hands up, i promise im not burgling you. It was not a person, it turned out to be a cat. So i am not religious at all but i think this cat was an absolute miracle, a divine animal sent from the disability friendly gods, who saw my time of need and sent me a messenger. Because this cat brushes past my leg and it kind of leads me down a new corridor, which i dont think i would have seen by myself because it was quite dark, quite dimly lit, and it has a little bell on its collar, so very helpful. I follow this cat and i go into another room, which turns out to be a massive, beautiful kitchen. In there i find a housekeeper who was very confused to see me, but very friendly, and she pointed me to all of my stuffjust sitting there on the kitchen table, my bag, my symbol cane, my charger, everything i needed. I nearly collapsed with relief, i was so happy. I charged my phone, got out of there, it does have a happy ending. I made it to my nephews birthday on time, i got out of the house independently with a bit of an assist from the miracle cat and even better, later on i found out that my boss found another one of my colleagues downstairs passed out in his pants on the sofa. So compared to him, i didnt do too badly. Laughter. Thank you so much, thanks for listening. Cheering and applause. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Reece Finnegan. Cheering and applause. Please welcome to the stage, Sarah Collins cheering and applause. Hi. I have a condition that is often erroneously called pure 0h. Pure 0 is short for purely obsessional 0cd, a kind of 0cd that does not involve some of your traditional compulsions like excessive hand washing, cleaning or performing rituals. Symmetry does not do much for me. I could not care less about whether my revision notes are colour coded or not. My bedroom is the messiest room you will have ever seen in your life. Research has shown that purely obsessional 0cd is not actually purely obsessional at all. We have compulsions, they just dont look like your traditional variety. My compulsion is reassurance seeking, which means basically asking my poor mother over and over and over again whether she is absolutely sure i wont put her in front ofa train. Laughter. That she can guarantee that no one is filming me through the camera on my laptop screen. When living with 0cd, it is easy to get lost in a tunnel where i am being guided by a voice that isnt my own. The voice doesnt reflect my values or my personality, the voice is melodramatic, attention seeking and downright mean. And im not like that at all so it cant be my voice. At its most extreme, the voice can generate false memories. A few years ago, i went on a massive night out to celebrate the end of my a levels with my friends. Sorry, i am getting 0cd about performing this thing about 0cd, so. Just bear with me. Applause. While i untangle that one. So a few years ago, i went on a massive night out with my friends to celebrate my a levels. However, for me, the after effects of drinking can extend well beyond the usual case of hangover anxiety. On this particular night out, i knew id overdone it so when i got in, i got a huge glass of water and popped two paracetamol tablets. I was drunk, but aware. The next morning i woke up with a massive headache, and lay motionless for a few minutes, running back through the memories from the night before. I saw myself coming into the house, going into the kitchen, getting the glass of water and the paracetamol, and then it came. The intrusive thought i had taken a whole box of paracetamol tablets. I could feel the sensation of the cardboard in my fingers, the feeling of swallowing each tablet. I was in danger, grave danger. I ran downstairs in search of the physical evidence. I rifled through the cupboard. I found just one box of paracetamol and it was almost full, with only two tablets missing. With overwhelming relief i realised i was going to be fine. I was fine. But. Hang on. How could i be sure . How could i be absolutely, 100 sure that the box of paracetamol that was in the cupboard was the same box that had been there last night . What if i had taken all those tablets and then drunkenly thrown the box in the bin . And just like that, there it was. Another memory. I could hear the bin clanging shut. Oh god. Oh god i was going to have to look through the bin. I thought about putting some rubber gloves on, but really, when i was mere hours away from certain death by liver damage, was a bit of bin juice going to hurt me . I have never looked less like your stereotypical 0cd sufferer than in that moment. When i was leaning over the bin, face down, cars up, trawling through mouldy cabbage and gone off cheese in search of some empty paracetamol boxes. There were no boxes in the bin. And then i had a brainwave. I am a millennial. However drunk i was, i would never forget to recycle. Laughter. Check the recycling, no boxes. There was only one thing for it. Call 111. Hello111, what is your problem today . Um, i think i might have taken a paracetamol overdose . And how many tablets have you taken in the past 2a hours . Um, i think i have only taken two tablets, but i was drunk and i am not sure, and i have this feeling i have taken a paracetamol overdose . But you can only remove taking two tablets . Youve just got a feeling you have ta ken a paracetamol overdose . Yes, and ifeeldrunk and tired and awful . I think youvejust got hangover, love. So that was the official opinion, i was going to live, i could get on with my day. That was until i was on the train to birmingham with my sister, and along came another thought. This time it was me, lying in a hospital bed with tubes all over me. Then it was words flashing against a black screen. You could have prevented this. You could have gone to hospital and had your stomach pumped, if only you had listened to me . The train pulled into the station and i had my plan. I told my sister ijust needed to get a few books, some folders from when i was going to uni. I sprinted to catch a train heading to the station nearest to the Queen Elizabeth hospital, university of birmingham. I sent students flying as i barged up the escalators through the gates, across the road, and stopped directly outside the glass double doors to a e. I paused forjust one second, and breathed. Even though i knew where i was, i was utterly and completely lost in a world of menacing thoughts. Even a fun night out with my friends from my a levels had had a sinister consequence. This wasnt a life. I had to be brave. I replayed the memories from the night before. I walked into the kitchen. I got a glass of water. I tookjust two paracetamol tablets, and i went to bed. My brain was screeching at this point but what about the other memories . You can afford to take this risk, are you that stupid, do you want to die . . But when i tried to recall the other memories the 2a tablets, the bin they just disappeared. They morphed and switched into other terrifying fears, other horrible what ifs. And then, underneath the rest of the chatter, but growing louder and louder, i heard my own voice. Turn around, sarah, and walk away. You can do this. In front of me, people with broken legs and raging fevers were hobbling into a e. I turned around. I walked back towards the station, back towards life. I wasnt lost anymore. Thank you very much. Cheering and applause. Her first time on stage Sarah Collins, guys. 0k, to finish the show, make some noise forjoe wells. Applause. Hello. Hello, edinburgh, are you well . Audience yes. Good. This is my story about losing my headphones. I should give you some background to this story. Im an autistic man. Ive been a man for 12 years. Before then, i was a boy, and i have always been autistic. But i only had the diagnosis earlier this year, and when you get that diagnosis, you spend a lot of time, too much time, wondering about stuff that happened in your past, negative experiences. Would that have all been different if id had this diagnosis . One thing i say for a fact, its helped explain things for me. Like, theres always been things which ive really disliked, but everyone else seems to love. The main three things are eye contact, the sound of mens voices, and the arctic monkeys. The third one, thats not an autistic thing. I just think i just think theyre a really overrated band. People talk about whether theyre the next beatles. Talking about eye contact, i think it is weird. I think its weird that you people do that. Think about what eye contact is. Weve all got two jelly balls that we hold inside our skulls, and we walk around sucking in light into ourjelly balls at all times. And when you want to be polite to someone, youre supposed to point yourjelly balls to theirjelly balls, suck all the light off their jelly balls. They return the favour, they suck the light off your jelly balls while youre sucking the light off their jelly balls, in a mutualjelly ball sucking thing. I find that weirdly intimate, when youve just met someone, to immediately suck on theirjelly balls. I used to get in trouble at school. I had a Science Teacher who used to say to me, joe, you have to make eye contact with me. Otherwise, i dont know youre listening to me. What kind of biology teacher are you, to think you listen with your eyes . But i dont like mens voices, either. I find. Apologies to any men in the room. I dont hate men, ijust hate mens voices. Mens voices sound like somebody is driving a motorbike through a wood chipper. Its like makes sound of motorbike driving through wood chipper. I like craft beer. I find that really distressing, i dont like it at all. Particularly more than one man three or more men talking over the top of each other, i dont like that. Its why i dont watch top gear. I dont like it at all. So i avoid mens voices as much as i can. I cant always do that. I work as a comedian, so i have to get late trains a lot, and men are drunk on the late trains. I hate the sound of drunk mens voices, and i never knew why that was until i had this diagnosis. I used to have to come up with a reason why. And what i thought id worked out was that i hate the sound of mens voices because im a good feminist and im very progressive, and i hate the sound of mens voices because it reminds me of all of the misogyny that women have endured for millennia. That would make sense as a theory if it werent for the fact that when i hear mens voices i put my headphones on, i listen to music, and i listen to mainly gangsta rap. I like the rap. Im sorry, i know its problematic, but i like it a lot. You cant kid yourself that youre drowning out the sound of toxic masculinity when youre listening to nwa to drown it out. I like gangsta gangsta best nwa song that im allowed to say. I like that when dr dre, easy e and ice cube are talking, they take it in turns. I didnt exactly lose my headphones, they broke, and they broke in london. The reason they broke was because i had only spent £10 on headphones. You should always spend a minimum £20 on headphones, otherwise its a false economy. If you spend £10, you may have to replace them five times a year. £20, theyll last you the whole year. Always spend at least £20 on headphones, thats the moral of the story. If you leave today and someone says, what was the bbc 0uch show about . You tell them it was about how someone should spend minimum £20 on headphones. But i didnt. I was young, naive and reckless, so i spent £10 on headphones. They broke on the tube in london. Still got a two hour train back to portsmouth, where i live. I was very anxious that there could be men with their loud man voices, talking, and that would be horrible, and i didnt have anything to drown it out. Got on the train, and theres one girl on her own whos drunk, not causing any problems. Theres a mother and daughter who have been to a west end show. Theyre talking about that. Theres one man on his own, businessmen on a laptop, thats fine, should be fine. There is no group of men talking. I pick up my book i read my book. 15 minutes its peaceful, its fine. And then after about 15 minutes, i heara kind of like a splattering noise. And i look up and i see that the really drunk girl, she has been sick on the floor. Quite a lot of sick, just on the floor. And i look up and i make eye contact, and for the first time in my life ive made eye contact with someone, and they feel less comfortable about it than me. I look away. She is then sick again. Theres sick on sick on floor, and after shes been sick a second time, she gets up to go to the toilet to be sick. That is very much closing the stable door after the horse has been fully sick on the floor, but she does that. She gets up and walks past me. I looked up slightly, and i can see that she is ashamed of the fact that shes been sick, and i dont think she should have felt ashamed. Everyone has been drunk, and i dont mind that much that shes been sick, to be honest. Its just some human vomit, its not three or more men talking. Its fine. But you cant say that to someone, can you . Ive got enough social sense to know. Sometimes i get kind of social things wrong, and there is a thin line between saying i dont mind you being sick and kind of sounding like youre enthusiastic about it. You want to get that right. It doesnt matter what i think, anyway. She feels ashamed, and she covers her mouth with her hand out of shame, right . And then shes sick again. Now, do you remember school, when in the bathrooms at school the bigger boys would put their thumbs over the taps, right, so the increased pressure of the water. You cant be disgusted by this, youre just having to hear about it. I had to live it in my life. Increased pressure, she was sick on me out the side of her mouth. I was shocked, and i looked up and went, you have been sick on me. And she turned round to me. She said, i am sor. And before she could say ry, she was sick again. That is what happened to me. She was sick on me twice, and i had to go from woking to portsmouth covered in another womans sick. But heres the thing. I had this diagnosis this year, and ive been thinking a lot about, would that diagnosis have changed things . Its easy to fall into that trap where you go, everything would have been different if id had this diagnosis earlier. And would that story have been different if i had an Autism Diagnosis . No, it wouldnt, of course not. I still would have been sicked on, she still would have been embarrassed, and i still would have looked up at the start and made her feel embarrassed. I still would have had the splatter. The thing that would have made a difference is if i would have had headphones on. Im not saying to me. It was important to me, having an Autism Diagnosis, but its not the most important thing in the world. The most important thing in the world is to spend at least £20 on headphones. Applause. Cheers. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise forjoe wells. And make some noise for everyone youve seen today. You have seen reese finnegan, Sarah Collins, joe wells. My names Chris Mccausland. Sarah collins, joe wells. Thanks for being amazing, guys. Sarah collins, joe wells. Cheers, goodnight. Sarah collins, joe wells. Thank you. Sarah collins, joe wells. As we head into the early part of next week, the weather is set to turn more unsettled but at the moment the weather remains quiet through the rest of this weekend. This is the weather front that will bring the change by monday but at the moment High Pressure is still around so it is generally fine and dry but it will be cold early on sunday morning, plenty of sunshine away from the north west but well see increasing cloud in western scotland, claudia northern ireland, one 01 scotland, claudia northern ireland, one or two showers threatening the coastal areas from norfolk down to kent by the rest of england and wales, eastern scotland enjoying sunshine. This weather front, though, brings the change overnight and into monday. It brings rain, it will put eastwards and then it. And at this stage it looks like eastern parts of england generally speaking could be dry and may be brightening up could be dry and may be brightening up with a bit of sunshine. The rain easing off across scotland and northern ireland, north west england and wales, weather towards the south west with temperatures only 16 degrees as it brightens up a crossed eastern england, we may get 18 celsius or so. The weather fronts bets apart, cooler weather and wetter weather goes toward spain. The next weather system coming from the atlantic, but a brief respite on tuesday, reach of High Pressure, one or two showers above are the most pa rt or two showers above are the most part dry with spells of sunshine. Maybe the temperatures will be a little bit higher, but equally across more southern little bit higher, but equally across more southern and eastern parts of england. Weve got wet and windy weather arriving in the north west by the end of the day, thatis north west by the end of the day, that is around that area of low pressure which contains a remnants of hurricane dorian, no longer hurry in the north west by the end of the day, that is around that area of low pressure which contains remnants of hurricane dorian, no longer hurrying hurricane at this stage but it will bring wet and windy weather. The rain lighter by wednesday morning as it pushes down towards eastern areas, then we get spells of sunshine developing far and wide, some showers mainly across northern and western scotland where they could be a little bit heavy. Well find gusty winds but it is likely the strongest of the winds will be tuesday evening and tuesday night. But me may well find that average is creeping up a little bit as we draw in tropical air, together with a re m na nts of in tropical air, together with a remnants of the old hurricane. As we move into the next area of low pressure, this actually contains re m na nts of pressure, this actually contains remnants of another Tropical Store but the computer monitors are struggling with this, it is not as developed, the winds are not as strong and it is not as far north so weve got rain around on thursday pushing in from the atlantic, but it over the western hills, the rain easing off through the day and skies brightening a touch. Still some fairly brisk winds through the day but nowhere near as windy as we thought it would be across northern parts of scotland and it could be that the strongest winds will be further south. That is where weve got warmer tropical air and those temperatures will be higher. That system wont last long, as we look further ahead towards next weekend, it is all about this area of High Pressure. It is not building quite as strongly, it is not building as far north, hence the blue in the charts and wetter weather coming across northern parts of the uk. But the High Pressure is in such a position whereby withdrawing in some really warm air and pushing it northwards across all areas as