I really dont miss having a dad because they both completed a different area of me growing up. This is the family. My sister, sarah and i, we have lived together for almost two decades. We fight over socks and we steal each others headphones and i love sarah to pieces. Its so nice out. Its beautiful. Im happy were together. Me, too. It was the beginning of my spring break of senior year. My mom got an e mail that said, hi, i think your daughter is my daughters half sister. So i facebook searched and found a bunch of women who were the right age and ifound one who had a daughter who was around my age. I messaged carolyn and i said, hi. I think im your half sister. 1317 from california . I was ready for either i dont know who you are, youre crazy or yeah, im your half sister, and it was the second one. I really didnt think about that whole side of my family for a while until i was 18 and old enough. I thought maybe if im lucky, ill find one or two. And ifound one or two i think were trying to feel around and figure out how were family. Its completely uncharted territory. Kathleen was very insistent on making sure that we used the sperm bank of california because we were allowed to have a known Donor Program from that. As far as i remember there were only two in the country at the time that we could find the donor. Well, julia could find the donor when she turned 18. We had no rights to the donor and he had no rights to us. Julia was the only person who could make contact. But keep in mind, whenjulia was born in 1999 injanuary, and she was conceived five months before google was founded. So there was no chance, in our minds, that any of the diblings would ever be part of the picture. It was not that we didnt want them, itjust never crossed our minds. We just let her call the shots on that one. I think growing up i was a really closed off person. I didnt know how to share my emotions, especially with my parents. Kathleen is a therapist. She was a therapist, psychologist. She helped me to open up. Betsy and i, we would ride bikes together and would go on walks together. I would help her cook. Sarah, is there enough mayonnaise . How much more should i use . More, i think. Yeah, that looks really dry. I was adopted and betsy gave birth tojulia but with a sperm donor. It created a special family. A beautiful blend in a not natural way. Mom, how long do i do this for . Thats good. I was ready to keep going. Stop it. Thats so cool before my mom died, she left me this note. I was at college, my sophomore year, in the middle of my midterms and i got a call from betsy. She said, julia, you have to come home. After my mom died ifound this note that shed left for me. So i kind of keep it there. It hasnt moved. It makes me happy. Carolyn was the first sibling that i made contact with. So i guess shesjust my introduction to the donor sibling world. Im going to meet her again now. Your haircut when did that happen . A month ago. It looks good. When i was growing up i thought that maybe i had donor siblings but then your mom was the first person to contact me. That was the first time i realised that i have a donor sibling and its you i thought it was just 19 of us and then sam popped up. Sam is another one we didnt know about. There are 20 of us in total. Do you know that for sure . Yes. There are definitely 20 of us. I thought there were 19, though. That was my last count. I thought we had 19, too, and then sam popped up. Mom has an excel spreadsheet. She does . Does she still have it . It has everybody we have to date and their parents weve contacted. My mother is a single mom. She was 36 years old when she had me. This is the sperm pipette, is that the word, that my mother used and here you can see it says 1317. She had these in herfreezer forfour orfive months before she decided that today is the day im gonna get pregnant. I think what i did learn or take from my mothers process is that i did want to have a partner raising a child. Not that i am in any way unhappy about my childhood but i think that i would want, you know, have someone else to help me. I think that family is chosen, and i still think that. And so i dont know if im choosing the donor sibling family or what, but i think all of us really feel in it. When we were starting this process, firstly there were two sperm banks we were aware of, both in california, that had a known Donor Programme. We wanted to make sure that we looked like a family. I think we thought there would be enough barriers to us being acknowledged as a family, and having physical characteristics that were similar was helpful and that was why we chose a young man. He was german, scot and english. This is a questionnaire we got from the sperm bank about your donor. It was answered by him. Describe your personality and character. I am very easy to get along with and i am a pacifist. I think thats the line that got mommy. I remember you telling me about that. Why do you want to be a sperm donor . Besides the money, which is definitely an incentive because i am strapped for cash, i think it would be a very rewarding experience. If i never have kids then i would would want to know i gave that opportunity to another couple. Which option did you choose . Identity release. Explain why you chose that option. It may be interesting to meet my unknown child to see what effect environmental and genetic have played a role in his or her development. If we could pass a message to the recipients of your semen, what would that message be . Do well in school and believe in yourself. Hold your head high and be considerate of others. He just seems like a nice guy. And thats why we chose him. Are you glad we picked him . Imean, yeah. I love you. I love you, too. I love you so much. Have a great trip. I want to hear all about it when you get home. Im going to meet up with some of my siblings. George, mari and samantha. Samantha has never met any of us before, so i cant imagine what she must be feeling right now. But im ready to meet them. I have met george before. I open up when george is around because hes so willing to talk. We also just have such a connection. I like to talk with him about all the experiences that weve shared in our lives, like talking about not celebrating fathers day or what its like to have a single mom, or two moms. Whats up . Great to see you. You, too. Hello. Im mari. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. You see what i mean . They look so similar the eyes. Maybe it is your nose, actually. Oh, my gosh. How old are you . 22. Yeah. Were all the same age. One thing that changed my perspective on my Family History a lot was talking to darren on the phone. Growing up, i always pictured superman, like he was a cool dad. You would have to be if you donated when i talked to him, but he seemed normal. But when i talked to him, he seemed normal. He seems kind of dorky and unsure of himself. It did not shatter anything for me, it wasjust ok, hesjust a guy. That changed a lot of my brain. The first time i met him ijoked where i said you know who you have enough offspring for two football teams with referees and coaches . i have small hands. I have huge hands. I think hes my brother. I never really what wondered about the fact that i might have these half siblings, diblings. I like calling them sisters and brothers because im trying to get used to the fact that they are my sisters and brothers. Now its become a much bigger part of this sperm donor story to me than the father aspect of it. We have no guide for how to organise these relationships. Threes so many things you want to know so fast. So i was a double donor conception which means a donor egg and a donor sperm was used. I felt very alien. I felt, like, 50 years ago, i wouldnt have been able to exist at all. I felt like i was kind of forced onto the earth a little bit, you know . It wasnt natural at all. I felt very alone. There was a period that i wasjust. I, i wished that i hadnt been born in this way, really at all, and i almost kind of blamed her, because i knew that she wanted a child so bad. The numbers for how many pregnancies you can allow, people dont report, if the pregnancies are unsuccessful, so the sperm donors dont get a lot of information in return. So there is a problem with a lack of regulation around that or something. But, i mean, should they have 20 something kids . Sperm donation is around to stay, so, i dont know, someday it might only be this. I dont know. We dont know the future of, like, any of that. It is so grody that other peoples parents had to have sex. Its weird science. I really want to get to know you better and im down to be a brother. I want to get to know you guys too. Were not brothers and sisters in name only, i kinda want to make it more than that. I really hadnt used the term brothers and sisters up until today, but meeting them and hearing samantha and george and julia say, like, youre my brother, like. And thats true. Saying it that way really hits you. Like, oh, yeah. You actually are my brother, you actually are my sister. My half sister came up to me and gave me a hug today, and i was the first blood relative shes ever touched. And its a thursday. Just a random thursday. So, the whole experience is always just shocking and bewildering, but in a really beautiful way, in a really touching way. Hugging george, it was like. I dont know, a strange sort of homecoming, you know . It was like someone i should have been hugging throughout my childhood but never did. I wish i could have told younger me about this day, and ijust wish i could go back and tell her, you will find them, youll find those people that understand. Itll definitely keep me warm for a very long time, you know . So, how was that for her . Samantha . I mean, did she cry, was she just laughing . She didnt tell us that it was so monumental for her until later. And so when she told us that, we were all talking at the table. I was just like, what . Like, thats the first time. Thatjust blew my mind. I liked mari a lot. I didnt know anything about her going into that. What do you feel you learn about yourself when you do this . I learn that i love all my siblings, and theyre so smart. Theyjust bring up so many thought provoking questions. Where do you see that going . I feel so comfortable calling them all brother or sister. But also, we havent had that connection for the first 18 years of our lives. So i really dont know. I dont know how much to connect with them, how much i want out of their relationship with me. And i feel like the best way to do it is to see what happens. Its such an interesting, deep connection. Its love, you know . I dont think i would have expected that. I thought. I dont know that i saw that coming. Its really sweet. Im glad that you have it. Its great. Me, too. Were going to meet darren tomorrow. This is when we were on vacation the week before your mom died. And she played the song shed learned. She taught herself to play the ukulele in the last two months of her life and played the song for the whole family. Dont worry about a thing. Cause every little things. Going to be all right. Dont worry about a thing. Cos every little things. Gonna be all right. Amazing applause. She was so funny. My moms about to meet my dad for the first time. I hope they like each other. I guess . Um. Its about 11 20am and hes going to be here in about ten minutes. From when you were like ten years old, nine years old, you called him don. Don was my nickname for him, because we didnt know who he was. Right, we didnt know who he was. We didnt have a name. So you called him don and i thought that was the cutest name. Im a bit anxious, i have to admit. But im channelling your mommy, to be grounded and clear. Thinking what she might want to ask him. Hello welcome. Hi im betsy. Betsy, nice to meet you. Good to see you. First of all, i want to say thank you. Because i have this amazing kid. Shes really been a joy to raise. And watch. And i really appreciate it. I dont know if you consider it generosity, but i think its the biggest gift you could have ever given anyone, so i really appreciate that. And what a great human you are. And thanks. Thanks for picking me. Thanks for giving me life. I thought that if i was in a Young Persons shoes that i would want to have the right to know my biological father. My life is really full of taking care of my kids. So i dont really think about all the donor offspring a whole lot. Im busy. What i do think about, i think its good. I helped give life. I mean, i guess im curious how you think about these kids. I dont have a strong connection to them, socially. But even then, family is such a broad term. People you always have to qualify it. Theres a nuclear family, your extended family, your work family. Its a very big term. But that said, you know, i feel like theyre part of my sort of broader genetic family. Im just looking between you two talking to each other. And youre my biological mom, and youre my biological dad, and just. I dont know, itsjust a very strange to hear you guys talk to each other. For the first time yeah. I keep going, just, like. Like, as youre talking to each other. From who ive met so far and from what ive heard about them, they are all very smart, talented, friendly, good looking people. Which i take full credit for. I see them as really remarkable young people. And im grateful for that. I feel a tiny bit of pride in that. I dont feel oppressed by the number at all. So if there were 50 instead of 20, im not sure i really feel that number on a day to day basis. If they lived at my house, i would feel it. Im interested in knowing what happens to them. At the same time, if they want to keep to themselves and not share that, thats fine, too. Every connection that ive made in the last two years, even, has shaped my idea of what family is. I have gained a lot of family. And that was, like, so much more than i would have ever thought. But i also never thought i could lose such a big part of my family. And kathleens not replaceable, at all. I think im learning how to live still. And my familys definitely helping with that. My very extended family. Hi, im emily. Imjake. Family is family. And love is love. Hi, im lydia. Im 23 years old. Im the oldest dib. Out of 2a diblings, im the only one going bald. Good afternoon. It is a splendid afternoon across the uk, if sunshine and warmth is what you like. Glorious scenes in cornwall. It may be the case that a few of these beach tents might need to be put away, because we have some showers closing in on the south west. Yesterday we beat the august bank holiday record, 33. 3 at london heathrow. It was also pretty hot for the north as well. Temperatures up to 28 the central belt of scotland. It is cooler here today, temperatures in the low 20s. Still heat across central and eastern areas, but through the rest of the week, the declaratory abate. The heat abates. Things will settle down in terms of temperatures for thursday and friday as wetter and windier weather approaches. Thursday and friday as wetter and windierweatherapproaches. In thursday and friday as wetter and windier weather approaches. In the week ahead things will become cooler, and we will have heavy and thundery showers, and some more persistent rain. Lots of sunshine at the moment. Thicker cloud in the south west they could bring showers later. On that front in the west will eventually bring cooler air. Temperatures close to even exceeding that record again this afternoon, but you can see the showers closing in on the south west as we move into the small hours of tuesday, a few into wales. That front approaches the west of scotland, with rain for the west of scotland, with rain for the western isles. Cooler across the north east of scotland. Warm and muqqy north east of scotland. Warm and muggy for many, overnight lows of 17 in london. A lot of sunshine on tuesday, but always cloudier towards the west, and showers coming ahead of it. The odd one could be heavy and thundery. Some heavy rain possible for some spots. Through the afternoon for wales, Northern England and parts of the midlands. Still 31, 32 in the south east. As the weather front bumps into the heat further east, things will spark off as we go through tuesday night. Heavy and thundery downpours across the central swathe of the uk. Wednesday, in comes the weather front, rain to the north and west. Still not much for the south east, stubbornly dry, and then we are back into a fresher regime, quite windy at times by the end of the week as well. This is bbc news im simon mccoy. The headlines at three the International Response to the devastating amazon fires the g7 pledges £16 million to help tackle the crisis. As the fires continue to spread brazil steps up its Emergency Response and deploys its military, after concern that not enough was being done. The largest earthquake thought to be caused by a fracking site in the uk has been felt in lancashire. A 14 year old boy has been arrested in connection with a fire overnight at a high school in dunfermline. The Prime Minister tells the bbc to cough up and pay for tv licences for all over 75s notjust those on low incomes. Today is the hottest Late August Bank Holiday monday on record with temperatures set to continue rising across the uk. And coming up the travel show reviews some of its best trips this year. Thats in half an hour, here on bbc news