'A handheld grater will make guests want sex with you': How

'A handheld grater will make guests want sex with you': How to have a grown-up apartment


 
The thing they don’t tell you is that parties change when you get older. You have this idea that once you graduate from sticky floors and vodka in plastic cups you’ll suddenly be invited to sophisticated dinner parties every weekend.
Parties where everyone is drinking tempranillo and saying thought-provoking things, where the apartment is scented like linen and figs and is washed in a warm orange light. Big wooden bowls of pasta materialise from nowhere, and there are delicate salads of shaved pear. Somehow there is never a mess to clean up. Everyone is wearing white trousers.
But there are a few things you need to get for your apartment before you can entertain.

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