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February 12, 2021
Experts predict that March Madness, the term typically reserved for the NCAA basketball tournament, will unfortunately apply to the actual month this year.
“Usually March is a fun time with a bunch of crazy college basketball games,” said epidemiologist Stewart Hudson, “But this year we expect all of March to be depressingly and indiscriminately mad.”
With or without college basketball games, experts are expecting to see, at the very least, a continuation of high COVID-19 infection rates, “a catastrophic natural disaster, or two,” and the death of a beloved celebrity.
“You know all those things that make you say ‘This year was the worst’ at New Year’s? That’s all going to happen in March,” said public health expert Natasha Riley. “It is going to be 31 days of abject madness.”