The most important skill in a marriage is to know when to say nothing. Especially when the other person is making a hames of something. Denis watches me in silence, as I try to cut my own hair. Eventually though, he can’t help it. He clears his throat.
“Do you want me to give it a go?” he asks.
“YOU?” I think he’s joking.
“I cut the dog’s hair.” He’s not joking.
“But that’s with a clippers, Denis. And I might have the colouring of an old Border Collie, but I’m not a dog.”