In an unfortunate start to their first practice this spring, the entire crew team is apparently lodged diagonally in a massive boat-pileup across the Delaware River.
“Our glasses got all fogged up from breathing under our masks,” senior coxswain Cock Sin ’21 screamed from the middle of the river. “One minute we were chillin’ and the next we were in a blind fog and oared ourselves into this snafu.”
According to a Public Safety officer who was standing on the river bank observing the situation and eating a hoagie, the pileup seems to be “as long as the empire state building is high.” He also clarified that “this situation would never have happened had they just not been wearing their masks.”