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âMommy, my tummy hurts.â
My God, those heartbreaking last words of 6-year-old Aiden Leos wrap around you like a wet towel and leave blisters on your heart.
As you likely have heard, Aiden recently was on his way to kindergarten when he was struck by gunfire on an Orange County, Calif., freeway.
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No kid on the way to kindergarten should ever be the tragic victim of road rage. It rips your guts out.
The bullet that killed Leos entered through the trunk of his mother s car before striking the boy, who was in a booster seat in the car s back seat.
Still, I can identify Big Money when itâs of multi-boxcar magnitude.
Joe Biden went on a $6 trillion spending blowout in the the first 100 days of his administration. Folks, thatâs definitely Big Money.
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In fact, thatâs even more money than my lovely wife spends annually on her wardrobe and redecorating our Palace of Zielinski. Every year I give her an unlimited budget and she exceeds it.
Still, she is harshly frugal compared to that spendthrift Biden.
Big Money begets Big Government which in turn begets Big Trouble.
Iâm hardly a conservative but Biden and his fellow progressives are trying to jam welfare-state big-government socialism down our throats.
Netherworld, Utah
Dear Mr. or Ms. or Whatever Gender You Identify As:
I am applying for the position of mattress tester with your company. I have been preparing for this job my whole life. In fact, I have slept away approximately a third of my life in so doing.
Steeled with this wealth of experience gained from my on-the-mattress training, I am confident that I am uniquely qualified to be the best mattress tester your company has ever employed.
That is because I have extensive lumbar and cervical stenosis and scoliosis. In plain English that means my spine has more doglegs than the worldâs most challenging golf courses. It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than to squeeze through one of my spineâs narrow canals.
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