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So we have a wilfully low-key NYE. It involves just the two of us. We drive up to the servo early, and get a bucket of KFC. We come back to our house and – under Christmas lights that we keep up specifically for this purpose – we hose our balcony. All the detritus of the year is washed away. Then we put garlands on our heads, light sparklers, listen to the countdown and take a couple of seconds to hear the cheer go up in the air above our little country town. We do indulge an annual bacchanal but that’s come to be Burn’s Night (25 January) where haggis, swords, kilts, Buckfast and our friends hollering poetry in Scots furnish a more appropriately theatrical start to the year.

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