January 18, 2021
NEW YOURK CITY – Last Friday the National Rifle Association filed for bankruptcy after mass shootings officially dropped to 2nd Trendiest Way To Murder, since newcomer “attending a full wedding during a pandemic” shot to the top spot.
“Guns just don’t give me that same feeling they used to,” stated former gun advocate Todd Redd, a Texan who hasn’t washed his hands since 2018. “Sure, they go bang bang, which is appealing, but watching two people in love vow to be together for the rest of their life, knowing that they’ll probably die within the next month… that’s Shakespearian.”