Then I turned to head back in. And the mood changed. With the wind behind me the waves had felt trivial, but now, further out, they were lifted by the breeze. Small they may have been, but they were steep-sided, each with its own little kick. One after the other they hit me in the face. I didnât have goggles on, my eyes were stinging and I was having trouble seeing where I was going. Every so often I took a mouthful of water. I didnât seem to be getting anywhere â what I could see of the shore remained stubbornly out of reach. I started to fight panic, as well as the waves.