December 17, 2020
The American pharmaceutical company Pfizer recently announced that Santa’s entire network of Christmas elves would not be eligible for the first few rounds of vaccines available to the public.
Pfizer spokesperson Keith Jorgenson said in a statement, “While Dr. Anthony Fauci did publicly acknowledge that Santa is immune to the COVID-19 virus, the elves, on the other hand, are very much vulnerable.” However, Jorgenson went on to say,“Despite their smaller and jollier stature, the shortage of available vaccines cannot cover the sheer volume of elves in the workshop.”
The spokesperson noted that this shortage is problematic because in order to meet the tight schedule he has set for this holiday season, Santa cannot afford any disruptions in his workshop. The work must go on.