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Limiting potential from age 10: how girls pigeonhole themselves

You can hear psychologist Karen Young, the founder of the website Hey Sigmund, shudder when she says, “We don’t even know what they’re capable of at 10! They are being put in these environments where, rather than being playful, it becomes competitive.” And even when they are told the tests are not competitive, they are. They’re sending signals to children that they are below par, or not where they should be. “Even if teachers and parents are saying, ‘That’s great, you did a great job and we’re really proud of you,’ they are looking around them to others,” she says. And if they feel, even in a small group of four or five friends, that they sit at the bottom in marks, the message is clear. “I’m not a smart girl.” “I’m not athletic like my friends.” “I won’t be doing maths/science in high school.”

From Grug to The Fire Wombat: six books to help kids deal with bushfire anxiety

“It’s important to validate whatever feelings they have, and make sure you show you understand their feelings,” Young says. Explaining that bushfires and other disasters are scary even for adults can acknowledge children’s feelings without dismissing them. Coming from a position of strength is also important, she says, to demonstrate that there are many people who can help people be safe in the event of a bushfire. “What books do, and any reading, is it normalises [an experience], presents this as something that happens to lots of people,” Young says. Reading may not just be about bushfires, but any trauma or disaster. “This can allow children to ask questions and stimulate conversation.”

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