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The PM has at last changed the digits for something more private. Sadly, this means the 68 million-plus residents of the UK can no longer give Boris a bell at 3am to discuss wallpaper, or any other subject of global importance that comes to mind. Martin Morrison, from Lochinver, believes there might have been a more satisfying solution to Mr Johnson’s difficulties. “A lot of problems could be solved if, instead of changing his phone number, he changed his address,” suggests our reader. Lost in translation A DIARY tale about a Scottish chap being mistaken for Irish reminds Orcadian Willie Towers of attending a conference in Mexico, where he got into a conversation with a chap from New Zealand, who turned out to be an expat Shetlander.

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