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Dear Critic

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Dear Critic

Hi Shawn, Fucking idiots. Slam them with a lawsuit saying that they’re squatting on your property. If they’re well-read wasps, they may cite squatter’s rights, but if they do, make sure nobody’s looking and just beat them into submission. This is a tried and true landlord tactic to deal with “undesirable residents”, and even if police do see you, you can probably write the report with them to make it look like self-defence. At this point it’s really the tradies’ problem, so if nothing else works, find a way to deport the wasps to their property. Or your landlord’s home. Damn, you really got some dumb fucking neighbours tho.

Dear Critic

Dear Critic
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Dear Critic

  Dear Critic, I think my boyfriend and his flatmate are sleeping together. Every time I ask him about it, he says they’re “just friends” but one time, I saw her coming out of his room during a party at theirs. Help? Thanks,  Am I Being Crazy   Hi

Dear Critic

Gidday Mr No-missus, Rotten luck, buddy. I can understand why you’d be upset about it, but you didn’t have much of a chance in the first place. You might not have exactly the right “hardware,” if you know what I mean. If you’re mad about it though, don’t take it out on your flatmate. Does she even know that you were into her? Or the other girl   does she know how you felt? If neither of them know how you’re feeling, you can’t blame them for not trying to hide what’s going on. You can’t just sit there and fume about it if you haven’t tried to communicate.

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