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Transcripts For WFLA The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161101

Gabrielle Union Musical guest big sean and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 561 mwuahahaha. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow, wow, wow, wow oh. Thats what im talking about. Thats a great crowd. Beautiful new york city crowd. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. This is the show [ cheers and applause ] you guys, its halloween happy halloween [ cheers and applause ] . It is halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or youve been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you werent home. One of the two things. [ laughter and applause ] nobody move they can hear us actually, i saw that the nypd was urging stores in new york city not to sell eggs or shaving cream to minors to try and if you want to know which stores were enforcing that rule, look for the ones covered in eggs and shaving cream. [ cheers and applause ] you losers and get this,

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Transcripts For WFLA Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161101

Thats right. Today was halloween. Im not a decoration yelled eric trump as he was put back in the attic for next year. [ laughter ] there are just eight days left until the election. So if anyones still thinking of running, nows the time. [ laughter ] just saying. [ cheers and applause ] after claiming the election is rally last week that the country should, quote, just cancel the election and give it to trump. And then on friday, fbi director james comey said, okay. [ laughter ] according to a new poll almost 76 of people think the media wants Hillary Clinton to win the election, which is just crazy. Think about it. If hillary wins, nobodys going to want to watch the news. Email hearings, droning speeches. Going to be like an action movie written by seventh graders. [ laughter and applause ] weve bombed mexico again . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be quiet. Im watching the topless super bowl halftime show. [ laughter ] donald trump told supporters last night that Hillary Clinton wants to bring 65

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Transcripts For WHDH The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161101

. It is halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or youve been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you werent home. One of the two things. [ laughter and applause ] nobody move they can hear us actually, i saw that the nypd was urging stores in new york city not to sell eggs or shaving cream to minors to try to prevent halloween pranks. And if you want to know which es rule, look for the ones covered in eggs and shaving cream. [ cheers and applause ] you losers and get this, i saw a new study that says that eating over 1500 pieces of candy corn could actually kill you. [ laughter ] which shouldnt be a problem since the Current Record for eating a piece of candy corn is two. [ applause ] tastes like a tastes like a a candle dipped in splenda. [ light laughter ] ill try one more. Yeah, still no. Lets get to some election news. As you probably heard, the fbi is revisiting its investigation into Hillary Clintons emails because some of them were f

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Transcripts For WHDH Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161101

[ laughter and applause ] weve bombed mexico again . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be quiet. Im watching the topless super bowl halftime show. [ laughter ] donald trump told supporters last night that Hillary Clinton wants to bring 650 Million Immigrants into the United States within one week of taking office. Whereas if he wins, canada gets 150 Million Immigrants. [ cheers and applause ] nasas Early Warning asteroid Intruder Alert system spotted an asteroid as it passed by earth last night, and i think i speak for all of us when i say, come back, asteroid [ laughter and applause ] a trump supporter was arrested in iowa last week for inperson voter fraud after she attempted to vote twice. She said the first vote was to make america great. And the second one was to make according to a new study using marijuana may improve night vision. Said one user, oh, right. [ laughter ] because of the lighter. [ laughter ] a ukrainian man legally changed his name to iphone seven after an Electronics Store offer

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Transcripts For WKYC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161101

. . It is halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or youve been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you werent home. One of the two things. [ laughter and applause ] nobody move they can hear us actually, i saw that the nypd was urging stores in new york city not to sell eggs or shaving cream to minors to try to prevent halloween pranks. And if you want to know which stores were enforcing that in eggs and shaving cream. [ cheers and applause ] you losers and get this, i saw a new study that says that eating over 1500 pieces of candy corn could actually kill you. [ laughter ] which shouldnt be a problem since the Current Record for eating a piece of candy corn is two. [ applause ] tastes like a tastes like a a candle dipped in splenda. Yeah, no thanks. Ill try one more. Yeah, still no. Lets get to some election news. As you probably heard, the fbi is revisiting its investigation into Hillary Clintons emails because some of them were found on

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