. . It is halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or youve been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you werent home. One of the two things. [ laughter and applause ] nobody move they can hear us actually, i saw that the nypd was urging stores in new york city not to sell eggs or shaving cream to minors to try to prevent halloween pranks. And if you want to know which stores were enforcing that in eggs and shaving cream. [ cheers and applause ] you losers and get this, i saw a new study that says that eating over 1500 pieces of candy corn could actually kill you. [ laughter ] which shouldnt be a problem since the Current Record for eating a piece of candy corn is two. [ applause ] tastes like a tastes like a a candle dipped in splenda. Yeah, no thanks. Ill try one more. Yeah, still no. Lets get to some election news. As you probably heard, the fbi is revisiting its investigation into Hillary Clintons emails because some of them were found on Anthony Weiners laptop. Real mess, not because there are so many emails, just because they cant find anyone willing to touch Anthony Weiners laptop. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] yikes not today. . . Jimmy all right. [ laughter ] over on the republican side, it seems like theres still a lot of fighting going on between donald trump and other gop leaders. In fact trump isnt going to help hold any more fundraisers that would help support other republican races. When asked why, trump said, you should know by now that i dont care about other races. [ laughter and applause ] steve hey oh jimmy i read that as of yesterday, over 21 million votes have already been cast in its amazing to see millions of americans with different points of view all joining together to get this election over with as soon as humanly possible. [ cheers and applause ] get it over with. Think i might have just pulled something on that last joke. Not sure. Not sure if i can go on, actually. Steve you alright . [ audience groans ] jimmy but this is the tonight show. We have to go on. I need i need someone to tag in for me. [ cheers and applause ] jay leno, everybody jay leno. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you, thank you, everybody. Boy, i tell you [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys. Hillary [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. Hillary clinton got quite a a scare tonight. To the door dressed as a lie detector. [ laughter ] and i tell you that donald trump, he is a smart businessman. When kids rang his bell and yelled trick or treat, trump yelled trick, and before the kids could grab any candy, declared bankruptcy. Boom, just like that. [ applause ] well, heres an interesting halloween story you may have seen in the papers today. Researchers say the smell of pumpkins can actually cause sexual arousal in men. Guys, a word of warning, before you act on impulse, blow out the candle first. Okay . Because its going to be its going to be very [ cheers and applause ] i had a great costume this year. Earlier tonight, i put a a douchebag on my head went out as billy bush. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] as you know, billy bush got fired for the outrageous things he and donald trump said about women. See, i think trump should hire this way, he could grab bush whenever he wanted. [ cheers and applause ] see, the greatest thing about our country, and this is why im optimistic. Out of the more than 325 million americans, we were able to narrow it down to the two bestloved, most qualified people. Thats i mean, thats unbelievable. [ applause ] that is a testament to us. You know, i watch both political conventions this summer, and heres something i dont understand. Like at the republican convention, Rudy Giuliani spoke. Hes got three wives. Newt gingrich spoke. Hes got three wives. Then donald trump spoke. Hes got three wives. The only one with one wife is mitt romney and hes a mormon. It didnt make any sense. [ cheers and applause ] it didnt make any sense. And did you see bill clinton at the Democratic Convention where he introduced his new campaign and her [ laughter and applause ] and these two dolls. And as you know, the state of new york is suing Trump University for 40 million, claiming it was not a real college because the students did not get a good education and could not find jobs after they graduated. I know, it sounds like a real college to me. Im not quite sure what the problem is. [ cheers and applause ] and speaking speaking of education, Hillary Clinton was campaigning last week and stopped at a school where children as young as 5 were learning to work with computers. I thought this was nice. The former first lady actually took the time to show the young people how to use that all important delete files button. [ cheers and applause ] and president obama was at a a big fundraising dinner in Beverly Hills last week where people paid 100,000 a plate to hear the president talk about income inequality. [ applause ] and as you know, these hillary email scandals brought Anthony Weiner back into the news. You know this whole sexting scandal thing. Heres a question nobody is asking. Anthony weiner is jewish, right . Right . So, this this scandal make him a Hebrew National weiner . [ laughter and applause ] see what im saying . I mean, these are things [ cheers and applause ] but its all about the economy. Heres how bad the economy is. Two milwaukee men were arrested this week for trying to join isis. Did you hear their excuse . They said, hey, nobody else is hiring. Thats how bad the economy is. The economy is so bad, fords come out with its annual list of the 400 richest americans and 200 of them have moved back in with their parents. Thats how bad the economy is. [ applause ] jimmy, the economy is so bad, in Beverly Hills, i saw a woman tanning using the sun. That never happens. The economy is so bad that the today show, kathie lee and hoda were splitting a 40. Ive never seen that before. The economy is so bad in l. A. , women are marrying guys for love. Thats how bad its gotten. [ applause ] thats how bad its gotten. Jimmy i got one, i got one, i got one, i got one. [ cheers and applause ] the economy the economy is bad. How bad is it . Jimmy the economy is so bad yes. Jimmy Anthony Weiner is faxing people photos of his junk. Hes using a fax machine. Jimmy the economy is so bad, pat sajak had to take out a home loan to buy a vowel. To buy a vowel. [ applause ] the economys bad. Its so bad. Jimmy the economys so bad, the obamas just listed the lincoln bedroom on air bnb. Thats bad [ applause ] jimmy the economy is so bad, instead of paying for heat, people are huddling around exploding samsung phones just for the warmth. Yes jimmy thats how bad jay leno, everyone jimmy fallon everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Jimmy all right. Thank you. How fun was that . The great jay leno. Steve jay leno, come on. Jimmy how great was that . [ cheers and applause ] oh, he was great. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it is monday. We are very, very happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up. Tomorrow night, our pal Whoopi Goldberg will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus a performance from lecrae. Then later this week, vince vaughn, benedict cumberbatch, dana carvey, and alicia keys will all be joining us. Its going to be a great week. [ cheers and applause ] but first, tonight, this is a a great show tonight. This guy is obviously the best, at 10 00 p. M. On cnbc, the one and only jay leno is here tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its fun. Its fun having him here, yeah. Plus shes starring in two new movies, the birth of a nation and almost christmas, Gabrielle Union is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] we love her as well. And we have great new music from big sean is here. [ cheers and applause ] love big sean. Happy halloween, dude. Steve happy halloween, brother. Jimmy do you like halloween . No, your kids are done. Steve yes, elliot did. Jimmy oh yeah . What was he . Steve he dressed like a a gorilla with a suit. Jimmy like a gorilla businessman . Steve yeah, a gorilla businessman. Jimmy winnie and frances, theyre 3 and 2, and winnie they both wanted to be butterfly. [ audience aws ] butterfly. Im a butterfly. Im a butterfly. And then winnies making this thing, she makes a new face now. And i go, whats that face mean . She starts laughing. Its because shes not sure. She says, i dont want to be butterfly. And my wife had been making this butterfly costume for months, so youre going to be a a butterfly. Yeah, i dont care. No i dont want to be butterfly. I go, what do you want to be . She goes, i want to be dragonfly. [ laughter ] she wants to be a dragonfly. So we put a tail on the back of the butterfly. Steve exactly. Jimmy get out there. Steve dragonfly. Perfect. Jimmy hey guys, lets just [ laughter ] we live in a steve wow. Just came off the top of your head. Just your thoughts. You were thinking this. Jimmy guys, lets just admit it. We live in a branddriven society, name recognition is everything. Steve really . Jimmy the problem is, what makes a good name for one thing might make a bad name for Something Else or make a great name for Something Else. With that in mind, its time for a segment we call good name, bad name, great name. [ cheers and applause ] . Good name steve good name, bad name, great name. Jimmy exactly. First thing heres an example. Steve alright. Jimmy inferno. Steve okay. Jimmy okay . In theaters now, thats a good name for a tom hanks movie. Steve yeah. Jimmy its a bad name for a a jock itch medication. [ laughter ] and its a great name for a a samsung phone. Steve oh, i see. Jimmy do you understand where im going . [ cheers and applause ] steve almost. I almost got it. Jimmy let me give you another example. Steve okay, good. Jimmy next up, we have five guys. Steve okay. Jimmy thats a good name for a steve yeah. Jimmy bad name for a a gynecologist office. [ laughter ] great name for Donald Trumps africanamerican supporters. [ laughter ] do you see what im saying . Steve almost. Jimmy good name. Steve good name jimmy bad name. Steve bad name. Both great name. Steve give me one more. Jimmy ill give you another example. Here is funny or die. That is a good name for a a website. Its a bad name for a comedy club. Its a great name for a comedy club in north korea. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve bombing means something totally different. Jimmy totally different in thats a good name for a a rapper. Its a bad name for a bra company. [ laughter ] great name for a sitcom starring shaq and kevin hart. Do you see what im saying . [ cheers and applause ] id watch that. I would watch that. Steve i almost get it. Jimmy next, we have huffy. Steve huffy. Jimmy that is a good name for a bike company. Steve bike company. Jimmy bad name for a paint store. [ laughter ] great name for me on the treadmill. Steve there you go. Ch im going 2 miles an hour. Jimmy finally, we have what now . Well, thats a good name for a a kevin hart standup special. Its a bad name for a parenting book. [ laughter ] great name for the day after the election. There you go. Thats all we have for good name, bad name, great name. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with jay leno, everybody come on back. . You got your mom side. . . A just be calm side. . . You got a, i never thought id get married at 65 side. . . Hey im just looking side. . . Man, you better buy that ride, whooo . . Thats why theres nationwide. . . They help to know, protect and grow your many sides. . . Yeeeahhh . . Nationwide is on your side. . . . . . . . This is pepsi zero sugar. Zero sugar. ooooh zero calories. ooooo but max pepsi taste. wow i did not email any, um, classified material. Really . The fbi said there were 110 classified emails that were exchanged. Hillary lied. And another lie . I respect the second amendment. But behind closed doors, hillary told liberal elites. The Supreme Court is wrong on the second amendment. Hillary will lie about anything to get elected. The nra institute for legislative action . . Now by one of the greatest standup comedians of all time, also one of the greatest tonight show hosts of all time. Season two of his cnbc series,jay lenos garage returns next wednesday, november 9, at 10 00 p. M. Please welcome back to the show, jay leno . . [ cheers and applause ] jay leno. Good to see you. Jimmy good to see you, thank you for doing this. Thanks for having me on. I appreciate you doing that bit. How was your halloween . Are you having a happy halloween . You know, with the candy, and the costumes, i just worry a lot of kids are missing out on satan, you know . Its so commercial. Jimmy its so commercialized now. That satan has been left out of it. [ light laughter ] jimmy theyre forgetting the whole point. Its all candy and costumes and all. Down a notch and get back to the animal sacrifices and, you know, some of the other. Jimmy thats real thoughtful of you. Yeah, you know what im saying . Jimmy yeah, yeah. We just have to keep it in perspective. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. We were talking backstage. I want you to tell this story if you dont mind, because i was telling you about we were talking about cars. People must bring up cars all the time to you. Yeah. I said i could have bought a a car in high school, but i bought a laser disk player because i thought that was going to be the future. [ laughter ] i know. Were so different. I know, but then you said how you bought one of the first mom. No all it was, was my parents came out to visit when i moved down here in the 80s my parents came out to visit me, so i had just gotten a vhs recorder. And my mothers from scotland you know but she doesnt like material things. Oh, jay, you can record the program. Isnt that something you can record the shows whenever you want. Oh, thats quite a machine. [ light laughter ] i said, mom, ill get you one. No, no, its 1,200. No youre not buying one. Its 1,200. Im not having you spend i wont take it. I wont take it. I said, all right, dont worry about it mom. So then i tell a white lie, okay . Couple weeks go by because i know she wants it and i call my mom and i say, a friend of mines got an Electronics Store hes going out of business. Hes selling all his machines for 50 bucks apiece. You know. She goes, 50, is that true . 50 . I says, yes. Oh, all right, if you want to spend 50 on your mother, thatd be fine. You can, i dont want you spending i said, ma, its only 50. Give me a break. Home, great i figure ive done a good deed. Okay, two weeks later, get a a letter from my mom with a a check for 200. I need four more for the neighbors. [ laughter ] no good deed. And this is not and this is not the end of the story. Anything technical is, you know, so i send the vcr and of course they dont know how to program it. I said ma ill be home in a a week. Im working in new england. I fly home, okay i get a list of all her shows, murder she wrote, barnaby jones, oh, jamie, its a wonderful thing, i can watch my programs whenever i want. A wonderful thing. Okay ma. Enjoy. I go back to california, i wait a couple days. Mom, how you liking the vcr . Its not working jamie, i dont know whats wrong. Its not recording. Its not recording . No its not working. I said, all right, well look, im home again in about tendays. And i go back okay. Let me give you the list. Murder she wrote, cannon,barnaby jones. You know. I put them all in,you know. There you go. Youre all set now. She says oh thank you jamie, what a wonderful thing youve done me. Okay, fine, i go back to california. How you like it . I said, what are you doing . Im not doing anything, jamie. I cant figure out. I said, well maybe we got a bad one. Look im not home for a month. Just leave it. And im thinking, what can i do . So im back home, i get all the thing and put all the shows in i said, mom, are you touching it . Are you doing anything . Im not doing anything jamie. I mean, i unplug it at night to save electricity. [ laughter ] so theres the problem. You know. Jimmy that sounds like my mom. That little red light doesnt use that much watt bulb. Its a penny every hundred years to run that little thing yeah. Yeah. Jimmy when you come to new york, do you like coming here . Youre not a new yorker. I was born in new york. But you come back and you forget the new york attitude. Im at the deli, right around the corner here and theres a a line of people and i buy something for 7 bucks and i give the guy a 10 and he gives me two ones and a five and i go, oh, you made a mistake. I didnt make a mistake. I sano you gave me too much money. Im telling you, i didnt make a mistake. [ light laughter ] i said no you gave me two ones and a five instead of two ones and a he goes, i know, but i didnt put the fives in with the ones. Im not the one who did that. And then the guy behind me goes, hey, jerk, just take the money, idiot. [ light laughter ] okay. So now im like, no. Guy goes im telling you, i didnt make the mistake. Alright fine, fine. Its like a nightmare. Like a nightmare. And then i have another thing where im buying some stuff at and here you go. And i give them the money and i go, thank you. The guy says i said, thank you, and he turns his back. I said, well, dont say thanks. The guy goes, uh its on your receipt. Oh, yeah, here it is. [ light laughter ] how foolish of me. How rude of me not to realize it was printed here. How stupid am i. Jimmy yeah. Well, i said well youre welcome. I should have realized. I should have read my receipt where the little thank you is printed up. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy oh, my gosh. I want to say so much more i want to talk to you about. We more with jay leno after the break. [ cheers and applause ] . . . Honey. Our turn . Yeah, we go left right here. woman vo Great Adventures are still out there. Well find them in our subaru outback. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. To feel this special. You need to eat this special. . . . I love it . Start your day with crunchy wholegrain flakes. And real strawberries. Special k. Eat special. Feel special. cheering on tv you may write me down in history, with your bitter, twisted lies. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still like dust, i rise. You can kill me with your hatefulness. But still, like air. We rise. Robert kearney i fought for my country in kosovo and iraq, and ive been a republican all my life. But im the father of three girls. I cant stand hearing donald trump call women pigs, dogs, and bimbos. And i sure dont want my daughters hearing it. I want my girls to grow up and respected. Donald trumps america is not the country i fought for. So, im voting for Hillary Clinton. Hillary clinton im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. When it comes to healthcare, seconds can mean the difference between life and death. For partners in health, time is life. We have 18,000 people entire staff stay connected and Work Together in real time to help those that need it. The ability to collaborate changes how we work. What we do together changes how we live. [ 80s music ] can i get anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. Also for a limited time in ginger apple. Before taking his team to state for the first time. Gilman go get it, marcus. Go get it. Coach gilman used his cash rewards credit card from bank of america to earn 1 cash back everywhere, every time. At places like the batting cages. . . And 3 back on gas. Which helped him give his players something extra. The cash rewards credit card from bank of america. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody, were here with the great jay leno. [ cheers and applause ] his new series, jay lenos november 9th at 10 00 p. M. On cnbc. Set your vcr. [ light laughter ] last february, you were here, you told me probably the craziest vegas story ive ever heard. So depressing and funny about the kangaroo fighting the oh yeah, the kangaroo fight. Thats right. Jimmy that was the best but then i didnt get to talk to you about, like, like, different, you know im not saying the mafia has anything to do with running well you love the mob stories. Jimmy i really do. See now its all see, in now they take your 401 k . Its different. Its different. [ light laughter ] jimmy its trickier now. Theyre trickier now. You lose everything. But in the old days, i once worked a club in boston. I go out on stage and im on stage, and theres a ruckus, hey, whats going on here. Everything okay . And i hear [ scream ] and i go, whats going on . They go mr. Lenos its just a a disruptive customer mr. Lenos. No problem. Mr. Lenos. Mr. Lenos. [ laughter ] excuse me. Its fine. I said okay. I finish the show and i find ou bouncer, hes this guy in front of a pole the guy doesnt like his seat. He starts complaining so billy takes a knife out, stabs the guy in the leg, and then gives him 20 bucks and puts him in a a cab and tells him to get lost. [ light laughter ] so i find all this out after the fact. Fine. Alright, fine. Im only here for the weekend. Fine. Six months later i get a call, hey, jay, tony. Hey, tony, how you doing. Hey, listen remember billy. Remember billy bouncer, the guy me . Remember the guy was making noise at the club, billy helped you. No he didnt help me, he stabbed the guy. [ light laughter ] he goes yeah but that helped you right . I mean it got the guy to shut up. [ laughter ] i said well what do you want . He goes, well, billy killed a a guy and now the cops are hassling him. [ laughter ] and i said, gee, you think the cops would go after real criminals instead of picking on guys like billy and this guy goes, yeah, tell me about it. [ laughter ] i said i cant help you. He stabbed a guy. Well he helped you. He didnt help me he didnt help me. He stabbed a guy. Jimmy that one time he helped you out. Ill never forget that. He did you a solid, man. Jimmy he did you a solid you owe him forever. You wont help him now that hes in prison for stabbing and killing a guy. Yeah. Jimmy lets talk about the show, jay lenos garage. Its coming back november 9th. Right, right. Jimmy cnbc. Fantastic show. If you havent seen it, youre going to love it. Its well done. If you have a laser disk player, you might not enjoy it, and we do have some celebrities but we dont talk about your cocaine bust, or the bad movie. Its just the cars. The motorcycle whatever. Jimmy you just have bad cars, yeah. Yeah and its a lot of fun, actually. Jimmy i love it. You had seinfeld on there, brad paisley, kendall jenner. We had caitlyn on, too. Caitlyn jenner came on as well. And shes a real race car driver. Its hilarious. Jimmy really . Yeah, shes very competitive. I knew her when she was bruce. Ive known her since 76, and the competitive thing is still its just caitlyn now, but its the same thing because i wou say, well you dont care about losing, right . Well, no jimmy dont tell me that. Very competitive. Very competitive. Jimmy you had joe biden on, which i loved, because its a a very interesting, the ending is, well, well just set it up. But he has this corvette . No what it was yeah. He got a corvette for a wedding gift, and hes had it since 1967. The show was about peoples love affair with a car, a car they had their whole life, you know, they married in it, the and joes was the fact hes had this car since 1967, but being in the seat with, around the Vice President , youre not allowed to drive. So we took the car to the secret service test ground, test area. They have hundreds of miles of tracks there and roads where they simulate stuff, and where he could, and he was really going fast. And we brought in colin powell to race him in a corvette. And they really start trash talking each other. Jimmy its the best thing ever. And they almost crashed into each other. The secret service goes, slow it dowlo slow them down. Jimmy i loved it because i did not see the colin powell part of it coming at all. Take a look, take a look. Heres jay leno getting taken for a ride by Vice President joe biden in his 1967 corvette. Here ya go. Do you realize this is only the third time im getting to drive this in seven years. Is that right . Wow. Okay. Third time. You gotta to use them. Thats the whole point. I know, i know that, but secret service doesnt let me. And youre the original owner of this car. Original owner. August 1967. Wow. This. You know. When i was younger. Youve had this to a hundred and sixty. Yep. Jimmy go, joe biden. [ cheers and applause ] go, joe biden. Always great to have you on. I appreciate everything you always do for me. Oh, i love you. Jay lenos garage retuyns next wednesday at 10 00 p. M. On cnbc. Gabrielle union joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. Its back and bigger than ever Olive Gardens never ending pasta bowl, starting at 9. 99 endless combinations of your favorite pastas, sauces and toppings. And for the first time ever, chicken alfredo. Plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. For a limited time. At olive garden. . . 3,2,1. Lumi . Re, action . [beeping] take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. Simulation complete. The new nissan rogue. Rogue one a star wars story. In theaters december 16th. As a Marriott Rewards member, i can embrace a world the new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest currently stars in the film the birth of a nation starting next month. You can catch her in the new holiday movie, almost christmas, in theaters november 11th. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Gabrielle Union. [ cheers and applause ] welcome back to the show. This is kind of fun because your first tonight show appearance was with jay leno. Jay thats right, i was her first. Jimmy oh my god. [ light laughter ] what do you remember about him from the show . You know what, i just being a little overwhelmed because its jay leno. And i get up on the stan there was sean connery, and he was, like, we should slow dance. Like, yes, we will. Jimmy mr. Bond. Yes we will mr. Bond. I might have copped a feel. I dont know. [ laughter ] jimmy you dont know. You dont have to tell me. Happy, happy, happy birthday, belated birthday. Thanks. Jimmy when was it . Saturday. Jimmy wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and you always have big fun parties. What was this party . So you had to wear a snapback and some sneakers, anything to promote dancing. Jimmy there you go. Thats you right there. Is that chance . Thats chance. [ cheers and applause ] and my husband. Jimmy husband. Yes. Jimmy d. Wade. How are you liking chicago . You know what, i love it. And the food, the food in chicago. Jay best food town. Oh my god. Jimmy it really is. And how about all the excitement with the cubs now . Its an even white sox fan, like, die hard white sox fan. Its like go cubbies, like its gets a big its a big deal right now in chicago. Jimmy oh, they love the sports, yeah. Have you been to wrigley . I have. I have. We went during the last playoff series against the dodgers. Jimmy its amazing, right . Yeah and the best part is the dessert cart is everything. [ light laughter ] jimmy i didnt know that. It is everything. Jimmy the dessert cart . Yes, it comes around like fifth inning and im like, hold on. Hold on. Really . They have this thing called a rainbow cake thats so good. Jimmy i didnt know that. Ive never been. Im dying id love to go. Im dying to go. For sports in chicago. I also love christmas movies, holiday movies, almost christmas, jb smoove being so funny in it. Oh my gosh jb, monique. Jimmy monique is great as well. John michael higgins, iggins. Dc young fly, its so many funny people. Jimmy and you want to set up the movie at all and tell the people what its about . This clip is its the first christmas back with our whole family after the matriarch has passed away and theres a lot of shenanigans in invited my sisters husbands mistress to dinner. As you do. As you do. Jimmy you get in a lot of trouble. Jay its christmas. Jimmy after all, it is christmas. Jay time to forgive. Jimmy yeah. Also in the movie, theyre trying to recreate this sweet potato pie recipe that they cant, they cant replicate. I never had a signature dish. I dont really know how to cook. We do candied ham in our house. Were from nebraska. Meat is a big, is a big part of but yeah, the art of the candied ham, is like a time honored tradition. Jimmy oh really . Whats the secret . I developed my own. Its with, i use cocacola, brown sugar, and pineapple juice. As a glaze. Its super healthy. Jimmy its healthy, yeah. Im pretty sure its gluten free. Im pretty sure. [ light laughter ] jay diabetes ham. [ laughter ] jimmy well, if youre in chicago, have you been to mr. Beef . No. Jay oh, thats my favorite joint. Mr. Beef on orleans. Theres an easy joke here and im its not a jay youre not going a get a kale salad at mr. Beef. You will not get, no. Yeah. Theres all kinds of things i want at mr. Beef but i dont think its food oriented. [ light laughter ] jimmy you know whats weird is that i went thats a different mr. Beef. Thats not on orleans. You got to go to the food, the restaurant. I found out, i heard its got this great sandwich there, and i go, oh, im going to go. It will be fantastic. Tonight show and i was visiting affiliates in chicago and so i walk in, and theres an autograph of jay leno on, like. Jay its my restaurant. Jimmy i walk in, its 100 pictures of you there. Jay well. [ light laughter ] jimmy i would say seriously. Like the guy was like, oh, yeah, we love jay. Hes great. He, like, slept on the floor on night when he was doing standup. Jay yeah, yeah. We go way back. Its a very funny place. Theres no tables, its just a a joint. Its the best beef sandwich. Delicious. Jimmy well, here you go. Too easy. Its too easy. Jimmy its too easy. This is for you. I got one for you as well. Jay a sandwich flown in from chicago. Its gotta be delicious. [ laughter ] jimmy it got here last week. The microwave is working again so we figured wed get it all. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] its so good. Shout out to mr. Beef. Love those guys. Jay dont talk with your mouth full. Jimmy sorry about that. I want to show everyone a clip here from your movie. Heres Gabrielle Union in almost christmas. Check this out. Enjoy. Why would you do that . Why would i do that . Why would you do that . What are you talking about . Break up a happy home . Obviously its not that happy if you are banging the cashier from the piggly wiggly. Dinner with your sister. Who does that . Who does what . Who puts paprika in potato salad . Who does that . Everybody. Not my family. We dont put paprika on potato salad. We just dont do that. Okay, lonnie, youre being ridiculous. Come on. Im going to talk to your sister about the potato salad. Okay, were in the middle of christmas dinner. You can talk to her later. Come on. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Gabrielle Union, almost christmas is in theaters november 11th. Well be right back with a a performance from big sean. [ cheers and applause ] . . Inside the rack houses of jim beam thousands of barrels lay silent aging, building a fuller smoother flavor y comes from being aged four long years at jim beam our history is made from the inside how will you make yours . Now try jim beam apple poured over ice and serve with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge to make a crisp, refreshing jim beam apple and soda. At planters we know how to throw a remarkable holiday party. Just serve classy snacks and be a gracious host, do you like nuts . Discover card. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. . . . . . . . . . . . . announcer vo the new pixel phone by google. Only on verizon. Okay, google, show me korean restaurants in boulder. Google Assistant i found a few places. announcer vo the only network than can power the first phone with the new Google Assistant, unlimited photo storage, and a stunning vr experience. How is this possible . announcer vo so buy a pixel, only on verizon, and get up to 400 back. And four lines for just 160 with no surprise overages. . . . . . . One smart choice leads to the next. . . The new 2017 ford fusion is here. Its the beauty . . Hanes wants to end the smellfie. This thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Bonus packs available now. Almonds, and raspberries. Devour something different. Special k nourish. Think your heartburn pill works fast . Take the zantac it challenge zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. Nexium or your money back. Take the zantac it challenge. Man, im glad aflac pays cash. Aflac isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thank you, guys. What a fun show. Guys, check us out tomorrow night, coming to talk about her new line of holiday sweaters, Whoopi Goldberg has her own line of sweaters. [ cheers and applause ] some of them some of them some of them one of those, you know, those holiday sweaters. I that thats the way to describe them. Yeah. Theyre theyre like Christmas Trees with, like, these some of them have batteries in them. Yeah. And like its well, well talk to her about that. We also have music from lecrae. Its going to be big tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] then later this week, we have vince vaughn will be here. Oh, we love vince vaughn. Benedict cumberbatch will be here. [ cheers and applause ] love you. [ cheers and applause ] but first, he is a Grammy Nominated multiplatinum rapper who is debuting brandnew music with us tonight. Performing bounce back, give it up for big sean . . . If young metro dont trust you im gonna shoot you last night took an l but tonight i bounce back . By the night i count stacks knew that ass was real when i hit it bounce back . . You aint getting checks last night took an l but tonight i bounce back boy i been broke as hell . . Cashed a check and bounced back d town lax every week i bounce back . . If you a real one then you know how to bounce back dont owe nobody . . Owe nobody always on the damn job i got no hobbies got the city rockin with . . Me cause im homegrown vibin out more than my . Me on my own though look i cut that chick off like an edit my daddy a g . . Its genetics straight up i heard ya new its pathetic . . Ya contract should be shredded took my dogs on a private jet from the Public Housing . . I kept it g yeah one thousand clique star studded like the paramount mountain . . Everything i do is righteous betting on me is the right risk . . Even in a crisis im never on some switching sides i switch gears to the . . Night shift blacking out cause im enlightened god talk to me in silence . . But i hear him every time man thank you god god bless you thank you so much . . Last night took an l but tonight i bounce back wake up every morning by the night i count stacks . . Knew that ass was real when i hit it bounce back you aint getting checks last night took an l . . But tonight i bounce back boy i been broke as hell cashed a check and bounced back . . D town lax every week i bounce back if you a real one then you know how to . [ cheers and applause ] . I woke up in beast mode with my girl thats beauty and the beast though been top 5 . Only thing that sold out is the seats though never sold my soul . . Never will never have how dare you stand before me and not respect my authority . . If you with my glory ima drop down and get gory i done did everything expect worry . . Hella drama my life story faith of a mustard seed i kept growing i knew that this life . . Was meant for me yea they change up more than wishin wells karma come around . . Ill wish em well livin like im on a limitless pill i kill the scene . . Like im denzel crazy like my jacket strapped up look i dont act . . But ill act up brown paper bag like the lunch packed up back back back back up . . Look i need like 10 feet or get stomped out with ten feet ima always lose my temper . . You cannot count to ten me if i lose one i bounce back like two three did with four five . . Seen court rooms and court sides aint too many seen both sides . . Yea what you know look im takin back control the under dog just turned into the wolf . . And the hunger steady grows yeah i call shots while you call off . . Never takin summer or fall off when you stay that committed to it you just fall down . . And never fall off last night took an l but tonight i bounce back wake up every morning . . By the night i count stacks knew that ass was real . You aint getting checks last night took an l but tonight i bounce back boy i been broke as hell . . Cashed a check and bounced back d town lax every week i bounce back . . If you a real one then you know how to bounce back a limit taught me . . If youre conceited try again and bounce back the harder you hit the ground the higher you bounce back . . Its physics so many problems systematically we call it the system . . Drug dealers and drug users they both get sentence do the time now every Job Interview . Even if you over qualify living in a Cardboard Box they bounce you right back . . In it got me wondering what politicians do we got politican . . It concerns me president s in debates sounding too personal my bro reached up to life . . Man damn what happened to to bernie i guess primaries wasnt his primary . . To get it in come november lets see if happen again i decided that counting . . Money never feel as good as counting blessings and a loaded mind is more dangerous than a . . Loaded weapon i decided for the first time . In time right now who the best is im the best dom . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy big sean bounce back is available right now. Well be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] if you want to sell your car carmax will give you seven days to consider their offer. Why seven days . Science. Join me as we walk through the seven stages of decisioning. 1. Consideration. 2. Questioning. 3. Deciding. 4. Queso. 5. Nap. 6. Sudoku. 7. Tambourine practice. I think i made my point. Theyll give you an offer for your car, you take seven days to think about it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to jay leno, Gabrielle Union, big sean once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Big sean [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] . . Announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight nathan lane. Star of good girls revolt, actress genevieve angelson. Tv critics and authors Matt Zoller Seitz and alan sepinwall. Featuring the 8g band with hannah welton. . . Ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] so wonderful to hear. In that case lets get to the news. Today was halloween and right on cue, hillarys private email server came back from the dead. [ laughter ] thats right. Today was halloween. Eric trump as he was put back in the attic for next year. [ laughter ] there are just eight days left until the election. So if anyones still thinking of running, nows the time. [ laughter ] just saying. [ cheers and applause ] after claiming the election is rigged, donald trump said at a rally last week that the country should, quote, juan election and give it to trump. And then on friday, fbi director james comey said, okay. [ laughter ] according to a new poll almost 76 of people think the media wants Hillary Clinton to win the election, which is just crazy. Think about it. If hillary wins, nobodys going to want to watch the news. Email hearings, droning speeches. But if trump wins, the news is going to be like an action movie
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