Dear How to Do It,
I recently asked my girlfriend how our sex life is compared with her ex, hoping to get validation for one of my biggest insecurities. Instead of getting validation, she told me she didn’t enjoy sex with me as much because she loves me and that has made our sex more high stakes than the casual sex she was having before. She also said her ex had more experience, so I should not beat myself up over the fact that they had better sex than we do. I know she was being honest, but since then, I’ve not wanted to have sex with her. I feel very inadequate sexually and my confidence in bed with her has dropped significantly. I fear it may affect the rest of our relationship, which was really good up to this point. What do I do? I want to get better in bed, but how do I do that if I’m too insecure to have sex with my girlfriend?
Phoenix
Arizona
United-states
Esther-perel
Karen-richter
Shadow-rock-united-church
Lamborghini
Tour-guide
Shadow-rock
Whole-lives
Slate-plus
Advice