i see everyone as racist, it really works. [laughter] victima allows you to take advantage of your body s secret source of grievances so you have more energy to call people names like homophobe or islamophobe. yesterday i could barely call donald trump a bigot, but after taking victima, i left 12 messages at tim scott s office calling him an uncle tom. we ready, guys? [laughter] [applause] victima, when identity politics is dead, we breathe new life into your dying party. do not take when pregnant or driving. better yet, just don t take it all all. instead, get a life. [laughter] [applause] that may have been the only drug i never took. greg: that s the only drug you never took. yeah. i took every drug there is greg: what s wrong with your party? it s embarrassing. you keep talking about victimization
so go ahead, make the jokes. yes, they only make them about the people that are going to keep them popular, but at least they are, you know, done crying and having panic takes, because that s boring to me to watch. [inaudible conversations] you know why the snl thing worked for spicer? the reason he s going to be gone? it has nothing to do with comedians, it s because he s no good. well that at least makes more sense than [laughter] i mean, the guy awkward. do you think he s a good press secretary? first thing he does is lie to the press and walks away, he s afraid to take questions. bob, you seem to me like you re a great american. you seem? [laughter] what i want to ask you is this: shouldn t we even give president trump any chance at all or just no? i said that we should do that because you re coming out now i gave him a chance. i gave him three weeks greg: by the way, bob, no
i kid, i think. but, damn, he s busy. check this out. in a world of high crime, one manmade sure crime didn t pay. nude man doing a crossword on a unicorn presents donald j. trump, jeff sessions and michael winslow as jonesy. your day is over. a new era of justice begins. executive action iii, justice strikes back. greg: yeah! [applause] there s a new sheriff in town. and he s working harder than a broom at a barbershop. meanwhile, i haven t flossed this two days. but when you look at everything
greg greg: yes, bob. tell me, first of all, trump s so easy to make fun of, that s one thing. tell me one thing he s gotten done. greg: i just went through a lit think. what were you doing, sleeping? during this show, maybe. no, i love this show. [laughter] listen, trump, are you kidding me? the guy gives me more material what are you talking about, bob? why do you always say that? because i don t understand what you re saying. well, that s because you re puerto rican and irish. oh! is that what it is? greg: no, that s a compliment. don t you wish you were. actually, i m part irish. thank you. greg: no, the part of irish that you were has been removed. yes, exactly. that s right. how about ivanka trump and her line of clothing? that was a pretty good one. greg: okay. if you ve got to reach for that, bob, you know you ve got to reach for something. i want to ask mr. baldwin sir! greg: about the comedian part of this. yes.
giddy the press was when the decision came down. they were so excited. it was like the press won. that s a bit weird to me. yeah, but, listen, they ve been getting beaten up so badly, there was a poll to show that the press was unpopular dishonest. dishonest. also something we didn t know. untruthful. ands this is, this is a big deal boy, those clintons, they re just as honest as the day is long. half the americans think that donald trump doesn t tell the truth, and that s i ll tell you they re off by about 20 points. i don t think this guy knows how to tell the truth. he gets himself in trouble. where are you getting this from? what do you mean? out of his mouth. no. that wasn t even the question. anybody who wants to keep going on about he s still back to how many people turned out to vote illegally in new hampshire i ask you a question? yes, sir. straight up, straight up, just honest, as honest as you why do you hate him so so much?