Please welcome to the ever-bloodier Streaming Wars: Paramount+.
Before you go on an inner monologue rant about “these new goddamned streaming TV thingies popping up all the goddamned time,” know that Paramount+ (yeah, another “+”) isn’t “new.” It’s just 7-year-old CBS All Access with a new paint job, so goddamn relax.
The CBS All Access name did the service no favors. It sounded like Boomer backwash aimed at the 60-to-Dead demographic looking to binge the entire
NCIS franchise before ascending to that great “Whites Only” diner in the sky. Paramount+? It’s sleek! It’s hip! It’s now!