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The census is about to set our politics on fire
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Americans have trouble agreeing on most things, but one matter that’s brought millions of people together of late is the shared fantasy of seeing
Donald Trump actually suffer consequences for the first time in his life and live out his twilight years in prison, deprived of creature comforts like Diet Coke, bronzer, and a cell phone on which to call into Fox News contraband
Eric or
Don Jr. would have to smuggle in on visiting day hidden in their ass cheeks. (And let’s be honest, they’d shove that flip phoneup their orifices in a heartbeat, probably fighting over which one of them got to do with honors.) At this point, though, despite four (4!) separate criminal investigations into Trump senior, we don’t actually know if he will go to prison but it‘s a prospect that just got more likely.
Thereâs a plotline in the highly problematic movie
The Help in which
Bryce Dallas Howardâs character refuses to let her maid use the toilet in her house, instead forcing her to go outside when nature calls. One night during a rainstorm, when the maid played by
Octavia Spencer desperately needs the facilities, she breaks the rule and is promptly fired. Later she gets back at her horrible boss by serving the employer a pie containing actual shit, which the evil woman unwittingly devours. All of which is to say,
Ivanka Trump and
The
Washington Postreports the shocking, Pulitzer Prizeâworthy story that the first daughter and her husband refused to let their Secret Service detail use any of the six and a half (6.5) bathrooms in their Kalorama house, leading the group of people tasked with protecting their lives to spend âmonths searching for a reliable restroom to use on the job, according to neighbors and law enforcement officials.â At first agents set