there are people filming this and they could easily solve the problem. like maybe i should help this tortoise. they were living together in vermont. jesse: i have a feeling people at filming animal videos to make it on animals are great now. greg: there we go! they run away into the mouth of a giant shark. r.i.p. turtles. animals are great. juan: doesn t give you a chill with the little guy wins one? let me introduce you to the high school valedictorian who got accepted into more than 40 colleges. when i heard i got 3 million i was than elated. juan: you heard that right. he was offered more than $300 million in college scholarships.
apoplectic here? emily: i know this is a little bit tangential, but greg: that was tangential. emily: i love this. also you guys remember juan: what do you love? emily: the charge. juan: you like the shooting of a shark? emily: like the beluga that we liked. dana: i don t like it. i never had it. absolutely not. juan: you never had what? greg: caviar? emily: no, the one that we love. the one in norway. jesse: the one on television. juan: the rush spy? jesse: john belushi? juan: i can tell we re off the rails already. jesse, save us. what we have here is a situation that people say, oh, my god,
this shark can attack people. it s memorial day. people go swimming. in fact, in 2017, we had i think 53 shark attacks in the whole country. no fatalities. more people die from mosquito bites, more people die from crossing the street. everybody is upset about the shark in new york. jesse: the shark is named cabot. i don t know who named the shark. not very scary. should be named damian. i switch off of these waters. i know how to deal with sharks. if a shark comes at you, treat it like a bully, punch it or don t wear jewelry in the water when you swim. they think it s gils. greg: a problem for you. jesse: yeah, i have a lot of blink. don t play dead. you never swim at night. you never see the shark coming. if you do get bit, go to the
or if that doesn t work, ask her for a tampon. you will have a conversation, you will follow each other on instagram, and you ll feel bad unfollowing each other, so you ll just keep following each other until you die, and if that s not friendship, i don t know what is, greg. [laughter] i hadn t thought about that at all. men don t talk in the bathroom. greg: i have a theory, terry yes, sir. greg: did you know that if you were murdered, there s a 95 chance that you, the victim, will know the perpetrate ther? so it s far safer not to know anyone [laughter] like if you don t want to get attacked by the shark, don t go in the water? greg: you die old and alone if you don t have friends, you don t get murdered. i m working on it. yeah. i don t know, man, i think tyrus is right. the society s changed a bit. it depends what you do. most people when they get to their careers, they probably stay in that area.
or if that doesn t work, ask her for a tampon. you will have a conversation, you will follow each other on instagram, and you ll feel bad unfollowing each other, so you ll just keep following each other until you die, and if that s not friendship, i don t know what is, greg. [laughter] i hadn t thought about that at all. men don t talk in the bathroom. greg: i have a theory, terry yes, sir. greg: did you know that if you were murdered, there s a 95 chance that you, the victim, will know the perpetrate ther? so it s far safer not to know anyone [laughter] like if you don t want to get attacked by the shark, don t go in the water? greg: you die old and alone if you don t have friends, you don t get murdered. i m working on it. yeah. i don t know, man, i think tyrus is right. the society s changed a bit. it depends what you do. most people when they get to their careers, they probably