“He thinks it’s funny to call up Alex Jones and say ‘Suck my titties,'" an enraged Jones said on his show. “We’re gonna find out who you’re working with buddy.”
Text messages from Tucker Carlson set off a panic inside Fox News after their revelation, showcasing the former host’s private and often alarming innermost thoughts. Here, obtained by The Onion in an exclusive trove from an anonymous source, are the complete and unredacted texts that reportedly led to his firing.