journals. greg: and it gets shorter the older you get because your intestines are shrinking like your food gets a pass for the car-pool lane. terry: i cans i disagree i think it slows down because of neuro degeneration. i think it gets slower. erin: there s the man of science. greg: we have to move on but i want to lecture our audience who were silent in their disapproval of this topic, i m sure that you laughed at or mocked sir isaac newton when he discovered electricity. that s right. greg: when the lightning hit that apple and he came in and says look what happened to the apple, and then the printing press was made. so that s how it s going to work. greg: we re going to have edible you know what this is? we re going to have edible legos. terry: yes, why not. greg: all right. coming up, our guests go for th, glory with local news stories.
oh, kat she s so funny. i go yeah kat s still funny until she tries to stab you after a two-day coke binge which we go through it was rough. oh you re going to act like this didn t happen kat: i think you re thinking of someone else. a lot of girls are wearing the glasses now. terry: no, ma am i know who i m talking about. greg gutfeld is great i m like he s not reeled, he s a ventriloquist dummy voiced by the man standing next to me tom shillue. this is what s going on the gutfeld explanation point show. what did you want to talk about? greg: no you burned your time. you can no longer comment on topic at hand because poor tom is sitting there with a brilliant idea. terry: go tom. tom: do you agree with this guy? no, first of all, yes, i kind of agree with this guy but he s a phoney himself.
coast to coast with stories that matter most. you re watching local news with nine-time emmy award winner chet van jansen. and now here s chet. greg: thank you. it s local news where each guest has to share a story from wherever they re from and then i vote on a winner and that person gets to name my third nipple. i did not write this. terry: i really really want this. erin: i don t want it. terry: i want this. erin: i don t want it. greg: erin you re first. erin: seam originally from rochester new york but this area is from buffalo which is close. state police investing the theft of more than 50 chickens from a yard in gas port new york. there was warnings about this and apparently somebody made off with 50 chickens last night. greg: wow, i m so glad you didn t use the phrase i wonder if it s foul play.
everything s racist. terry: of course. no future. greg: there you go. shut up terry. terry: i m going to murder him. greg: kat do you lie awake thinking about climate kat: no. greg: no? you okay? just counting your money? counting your number from the number one book? kat: i think this woman has done something noble because now i know who she is. that s not true yesterday. greg: that s true. proved my monologue s point kat: exactly. i think that s what it s about. you could have cried in the bathroom like the rest of us. greg: i ve never cried in a bathroom erin. i want everybody to see me weep. erin: well, join her, seems like a good time. but this is exactly to the monologue, it s the whole point right? she s crying at a committee hearing in the house? okay. i just don t understand what point she s trying to make getting emotional. you can have passion but let s just shove that down like a good
weird it is that terry used to be a baby. [laughter]. that s terrible kat: speaking of childhood, when i was in the sixth grade i approached my teacher and i told her that i didn t need to do math because i already knew that my life s calling was to write stories about shipwrecks. i don t think i think it s because we had to learn about the edmond fitzgerald in public school. but the wreckage of two boats that sank in a storm years ago in lake superior so that s a big deal. greg: it is a big deal kat: because they sank during a trip to deliver lumber. greg: go ahead kat: that s remarkable. what did you guys do today. greg: does this everybody make you wish you could fill, when i was a kid, fill your entire house up with water so you could like swim around in your house kat: oh, my god, you were a baby, too. terry: i do a lot of ship wreck diving, deep ship wrecks i m actually going to japan to