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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130917

Bit here. Jay writes, i guess i didnt get aids there is that. Come out for our his which is coulcouldbiscotti, son the hous. It was good the first time i went but its gone downhill. Now i go back every tuesday to see if things get better. Wait, that sounds like youre talking about the voice. I think this mani is a pedophile. I cant be sure. Good eclairs though. You can be sure. They are great eclairs. I came in and asked for a chocolate donut and was promptly [beep]. Thats why we got a b on the window. Tosh fans are not funny. Couldnt agree with you more. Thanks, foodies, good night. [ applause ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing Stephen Colbert presents, the Colbert Book Club, tonights selection. Everything, the catcher in the rye, by j. D. Salinger. Stephen Stephen Stephen welcome to everybody. Thank you for joining us, in the studio and all around the world. You are joining us for an historic evening. This is the second edition of the Colbert Book Club. Tonig

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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130911

Stay, if you will, and well continue this on line captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing Stephen Colbert presents, the Colbert Book Club, tonights selection. Everything, the catcher in the rye, by j. D. Salinger. Stephen Stephen Stephen welcome to everybody. Thank you for joining us, in the studio and all around the world. You are joining us for an historic evening. This is the second edition of the Colbert Book Club. Tonight, we are stepping away from the conflict in syria, because apparently that was the united states. A lot of details still to be worked out and we will get into those tomorrow, but the upshot is that america will not attack syria for gassing its citizens if they give up their chemicals weapons. It is like if you decapitate add coworker, so they are taking away your ax. But you get to keep your job and your hatchett. Be good now be good okay. Anyway, for

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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130911

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing Stephen Colbert presents, the Colbert Book Club, tonights selection. Everything, the catcher in the rye, by j. D. Salinger. Stephen Stephen Stephen welcome to everybody. Thank you for joining us, in the studio and all around the world. You are joining us for an historic evening. This is the second edition of the Colbert Book Club. Tonight, we are stepping away from the conflict in syria, because apparently that was the united states. A lot of details still to be worked out and we will get into those tomorrow, but the upshot is that america will not attack syria for gassing its citizens if they give up their chemicals weapons. It is like if you decapitate add coworker, so they are taking away your ax. But you get to keep your job and your hatchett. Be good now be good okay. Anyway, forget that stuff. It is a downer. Lets get to the bo

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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130911

But now i do have this book club, which is why i have been chugging chardonnay since noon. And pitching about my sisterinlaw sharon and the way she feeds my kids when they are over at her place. Dont tell me they had dinner if all you gave them but a gogurt and a cliff bar, you bitch [ applause ] speaking of drinking heavily, f. Scott fitzgerald. That is the author we talked about last time. Tonight, we will be talking about the biggest initials in 20th century literature, j. D. Salinger. A man so reclusive his first two names are still a secret. Was it joe don . Juan diego . Joe da plumber . Unfortunately salinger cannot be with us tonight, either mtv booked him to appear on the vmas, or [ cheers and applause ] stephen or he died in 2010. Only time will tell. But we have got a fantastic show later on we will be talking about salingers literary influence with tobias wolff, author of this boys life and we will be discussing the new documentary about salinger with its director shane sale

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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130912

Stephen welcome to everybody. Thank you for joining us, in the studio and all around the world. You are joining us for an historic evening. This is the second edition of the Colbert Book Club. Tonight, we are stepping away from the conflict in syria, because apparently that was the United States. A lot of details still to be worked out and we will get into those tomorrow, but the upshot is that america will not attack syria for gassing its citizens if they give up their chemicals weapons. It is like if you decapitate add coworker, so they are taking away your ax. But you get to keep your job and your hatchett. Be good now be good okay. Anyway, forget that stuff. It is a downer. Lets get to the book club. Already in progress. Now, as you know, i am a powerful media mogul. I have got my own show, i have got my best selling book. I have got an Award Winning twitter feed and, of course, i have my massive daily email blast of the internet best forwards. Critics have raved, unsubscribe but i

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