feel like it opens up wounds, just knowing that it s out there? yes, because i don t know if i m going to turn on the radio one day or turn on the tv one day or be googling on something and just happen to come across them by accident. reporter: she s one of many who fought to keep the 911 calls confidential but the town released the nearly 18-minute recording wednesday after a court ruling. the judge in the case says not releasing the call only serves to fuel speculation in our law enforcement officials. i did listen to them. i did hear them. reporter: neil lost his 6-year-old son jesse. while he didn t want the calls to be released, he felt compelled to listen. i felt it was something i needed to do or wanted to do, just to know. you know, jesse was my son. i brought him into the world. reporter: some victims relatives like the daughter of slain principal dawn, the audio