four years before the shootings harold had retired from his long-time meat packing job, expecting to ride his harley into the sunset. i had a california trip. i ve been into canada, most everywhere. well, that had to stop. he knows that i couldn t maintain these children without him. i don t want her to. and i love those little kids. i love my grandparents. they re the best grandparents ever. do you think they sacrificed a lot to do this? yeah. my grandpa loves his harley. but, you know, people do what they have to do, you know, what s in their heart to do. together, they gave erica a secure home. day by day, she was gaining strength. but things were not normal. erica was so afraid of balloons. balloons? balloons, the popping. and she was afraid of firecrackers. loud noises and everything. she s like this. she was scared when it rained, when it thundered outside. because that sounded like gunshots? yeah.