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You won’t be taken seriously in the west of Scotland crime business if you don’t have a moniker because a chib mark on the physog just doesn’t cut it sufficiently. So there’s Blinky, and Winky, Piggy and Wingie – he has only one arm, obviously! – then there’s the Iceman, Basil and Birdman and, gone to the great Ponderosa in the sky, are The Licensee, The Godfather, and Kevin “Gerbil” Carroll among others. Carroll headed the “alien abduction” squad, so called because the opponents they seized and tortured couldn’t remember a thing about it when they were interviewed by police afterwards, so thankful were they of their continuing life that they had no wish to further threaten its longevity. “Gerbil” died in a gangland execution in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow in 2010.

South sudanGlasgow cityUnited kingdomEast dunbartonshireIain stewartSteven bonzo danielShanna swannFreedom allianceVanguard partyScottish parliament partyWorld health organisationProtestant billy boysNorman conksDaily recordScottish parliamentNorthern italy