dad had raped and abused me. he did not want to be in his own skin. . i blamed myself and felt so stupid. my bruises healed, my mind did not. we both felt so alone and there was nowhere fast to turn. there must be others out there feeling the same way. i am related to a murderer and also a rapist. pond way. i am related to a murderer and also a rapist- also a rapist. and i used to think horrible things also a rapist. and i used to think horrible things like, also a rapist. and i used to think horrible things like, what - also a rapist. and i used to think horrible things like, what if - also a rapist. and i used to think horrible things like, what if i - also a rapist. and i used to think. horrible things like, what if i grow up horrible things like, what if i grow up to be like him? you horrible things like, what if i grow up to be like him? up to be like him? you feel grief, anaer, up to be like him? you feel grief, anger. shame- up to be like him? you feel grief, anger, sham