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Transcripts for MSNBC On Assignment With Richard Engel 20210920 02:29:00

loftis second tour. often the taliban would sit back and watch the patrols to evaluate their strength, and then spring an attack as soon as the troops returned to their outpost, let down their guard. loftis. sergeant loftis immediately took up a machine gun. the taliban were up to 50 yards away. so close the troops had to shoot mortars nearly straight up. already one soldier has been severely injured. the troops called in close air support. and, with overwhelming firepower

Transcripts for MSNBC On Assignment With Richard Engel 20210920 02:39:00

person that the war and the things that he s seen had turned him into. he reached his arm over the front seat, and he started choking me. started choking me. and said he wanted me to die. he screaming at me saying i hate you, and i don t care about you, and i don t care if we all die today. and i m in the front seat gripping his arm for my life, kick being the front windshield with my feet, screaming and hopele someone would hear me, and they d your honor, this is the state of ohio versus lewis loftis. lewis was arrested a few days later, charged with domestic violence, resisting arrest and assault on a police officer. he pleaded guilty.

Transcripts for MSNBC On Assignment With Richard Engel 20210920 02:37:00

up, any noise. the attitude, he couldn t control it, you about i could tell he was trying to. he didn t know how. he didn t know how to come home to this from that. do you think had an impact on you mentally, psychologically? i definitely think i ve been in traumatic situations and i gaurpts that s why very certain dreams that i have. if somebody drops something on the ground i hear that thud, i get that feeling, oh, god, an explosion just went off. but you re jumpier than before. yeah, i m always aware. that s part of it. you spend four and a half years in the army and over two years in afghanistan, but there will always be part of my mind that will always be there in my head. with warning signs becoming more clear, loftis went for counselor. it was obvious that there s things that affected me that were hard to talk about, so i wanted to talk to someone with a ph.d. about it. she helped me out. what did she say? did she say it was ptsd.

Transcripts for MSNBC On Assignment With Richard Engel 20210920 02:41:00

to work out. what a little baby. i knew him before he came back. so to me, that s what i was holding onto, to get back even a little bit of him. because i expected him to not be the same, and i was okay with that. after his release, loftis did a little better. he was working construction and masonry jobs, and by now, dedra was pregnant with their second child, nolan. but just as things were looking up. i got a call from someone in his family, and it was very brief, and she said i overheard him, and he s doing drugs. i looked at him, and i said i am not here to argue. i m not here to corner you. i don t even want to be here. but i need you to tell me right now, and just make this easy for us, what drugs are you doing? and how bad is it? did he tell you? he said, threw his hands up, he goes fine, i ve been doing

Transcripts for MSNBC On Assignment With Richard Engel 20210920 02:38:00

she said i was too distraught to give a diagnosis. meaning i was too emotional. i needed him to know that i m your best friend, i m your girlfriend. i m whatever you need to be that s going to help you get through this. but even with all the love and support, the stress of all the patrols, the constant tension of kill or be killed hadn t gone away. and one day, driving to the grocery store with dedra, loftis snapped. he s screaming things that, hateful things. i hate you. i ve killed people overseas that are worth more than you. i knew none of this was lewis. i knew this was the drinking, the ptsd, the depression, the endless nights of terrible sleep or no sleep. so i m constantly trying to separate him from the, from the

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