I'm suddenly very aware of the cocaine stuffed deep inside my jacket pocket. Somewhere else on my person, I'm not sure where exactly because I'm wearing skinny jeans, are multiple bags of heroin. All told, I'm carrying a haul of illicit drugs with a street value of around $500,000. I'm also standing next to a cop. A uniformed cop with his gun raised. Not at me, but at the poor schmuck who just helped me steal a quad bike. He's handcuffed, on his knees with his hands behind his back. He's just been tasered. And now I'm staring down the iron sights of my Shrewsbury Uzi 9mm, trained unshakably on the forehead of my one-time partner in crime. "I'm undercover!" I shout down my headset in the most authoritative tone I can muster. "I've got your back. Get him written up and I'll get you back at the station." There's a pause. A long silence th
I once bathed my two kids while waiting for GTA 5 to load. I'm a seasoned PC player when it comes to GTA Online, you see, and while my platform of choice has long boasted 60fps, stunning ray-tracing, and upscaled resolutions, load times are a total pain in the arse. Admittedly, I love the fifth main series instalment of Rockstar's long-serving crime simulator, but, as my life becomes increasingly busy with extracurricular, non-video games-related activities – such as maintaining the hygiene of my young children – I value my time more now than ever. And so, when I fired up GTA 5 on PS5 yesterday and waited just 56.47 seconds to land in the bustling murdergrounds of GTA Online, I couldn't help but smile. Other games running on Sony's latest state-of-the-art hardware might load in half that time or less, but we are talking about a game here that turns nine years old later this year. It's a bit disappointing I can&
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