Happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A major announcement from donald trump coming today, and why it might change your vote in the president ial election. I have something very very big. Its very big. Bigger than anyone would know. Its going to be very big, i know one thing you will cover it in a very big fashion. Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the teapot is encrusted with gold and were using diamond tea bags. [ laughter ] the speculation was rampant. Was it the longrumored obama divorce papers . Proof that obamas white half is also black . [ laughter ]
Stephen tonight, questions about the libya crisis. Could it have been prevented with bayonets and horses . [ laughter ] plus, a gop Senate Candidate puts his foot in his mouth. I hope it wasnt in an airport bathroom. And i hope it was a foot. [ laughter ] and my guest Anthony Everitt is an expert on ancient roman culture. Or so he claims anyone who could contradict him is dead [ laughter ] only seven days until halloween but i tell my kids its ten. I get some great deals on costumes. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A
Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the teapot is encrusted with gold and were using diamond tea bags. [ laughter ] the speculation was rampant. Was it the longrumored obama divorce papers . Proof that obamas white half is also black . [ laughter ] no, even bigger. Trump dropped a tenmegatrump bombshell. If barack obama opens up and gives his College Records and applications; and if he gives his passport applications and records; i will give to a charity of his choice inner city children in chicago, american cancer society, aids research, anything he wants a check, immediately, for five Million Dollars. One caveat the records must be given by october 31st at 5 00 in the afternoon. Stephen thats right. He has to have it by 5 00 on halloween. [ laughter ] because that night hes renting out his enormous orange head as a jackolante
Costumes. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A major announcement from donald trump coming today, and why it might change your vote in the president ial election. I have something very very big. Its very big. Bigger than anyone would know. Its going to be very big, i know one thing you will cover it in a very big fashion. Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the
Woman pregnant, shell be forced to carry the baby to term. Were hitting hard. You dont want to miss that. Are they hitting too hard in my school . Some want to Ban High School football now. We have a moral imperative to at least begin the process of ending this game. The surprising proposal popped up at a school board meeting. Its in jeopardy. Theyll probably want to end elbows from the sky next. Come on, we have those on the show either way. Its go time. [ theme ] hello virginia. Hello, colorado. Good morning kansas. My voice sounds a little horse. Ill be voting for he and Vice President joe biden. We are pulling and all nigher. No sleep. I am not always in agreement with everything thats written in the republican platform about issues. The pot wants to talk about protecting characters on sesame street. You dont appear to like each other. I dont think that any relationship with me and mitt romney is different from previous president ial campaigns. Whats the thing between trump and you