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David Ellis Dave, whom I’ve only known for a few minutes, is kneeling between my thighs as I lie with my back on the floor, his hands on my hips. This might seem compromising, but in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, this is “the guard”: an ostensibly defensive position that, in reality, presents an array of offensive options. It is also – as my first lesson at martial arts gym Fightzone in east London is teaching me – a great icebreaker. Jiu-jitsu is learning how to control another person From here, I can dislodge one of Dave’s hands and tug on the lapel of his gi while bringing him forward with my hips, so that his weight traps his arm against my chest. I can then reach around to grab his back, while getting hold of his trouser leg on the same side. From here, I can lift my own leg up as a lever and “sweep” him, so that I’m on top (“the mount”). Then I can grip his other lapel and, bringing my hands together like a pair of scissors, cut off his air supply. That is,

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