4 weeks ago
BOXCAR JUNCTION – In a rare break from nomadic life, the nation’s lonesome travellers assembled today inside a moving freight car they all hopped into, to declare they are sick of telling wayward dogs to “beat it,” ”scram,” and “g’on now, get.”
The loose confederacy of lone men and women claim that for centuries their quests for inner freedom has been hindered by the appearance of stray dogs who appear seemingly out of nowhere and at the most inopportune times.
“Usually after I take a long sip of my canteen, stare into the blazing midday sun, and say ‘Well I reckon it’s bout time I head out yonder,’ I’ll look down to find a mangy mutt of unknown origin,” recounted midwest wanderer Hank Cogburn. “At first I didn’t think much of it but there’s only so many times you can send a pooch out into the cold dark night without it weighin’ on ya,”