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Shakespeare to remain authentically boring

The Board of Shakespeare s Globe have reassured audiences of their mission to produce shows of mind-numbing tweeness , purposely designed to send your average GCSE Literature student into a spiral of self-harming. Renewing their commitment to Shakespearean traditions, all staff will be expected to adhere to a life expectancy of 40, rats as pets and a blanket ban on all actors who menstruate. On site there will be a bear-baiting pit and the Potato Museum of Wonder . Any artistic director must

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